[redacted]

[Doktor Howl]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

[Doktor Howl]

The other thing about teenagers that they don't understand is that their parents have lives and interests outside of cleaning up after them and giving them money. The teenager can't comprehend this, but they are a temporary shitstorm of chaos in someone else's otherwise pretty stable life. It really doesn't occur to them, when they are waking up the whole house by "looking for a snack" at 3 am, that they are basically the shittiest housemate that their parents have ever had, and their parents are eagerly waiting for normalcy to resume when they finally move out. To the teenager, their behavior is completely normal, and their parents just need to deal with it because that's life.

Personally, I'm in countdown mode. As soon as the smallest one turns 18 I'm moving into a smaller house so they can't move back in.

And then they leave, and you go crazy in the silence.

Trust me on this one.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

[Doktor Howl]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

Saturdays work.  Helpful hint:  Get a friend to come help you supervise.  You two drink tea.  Tell the kids they can do whatever they like when you're happy with the house.  This should take 6-8 hours no matter what.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The other thing about teenagers that they don't understand is that their parents have lives and interests outside of cleaning up after them and giving them money. The teenager can't comprehend this, but they are a temporary shitstorm of chaos in someone else's otherwise pretty stable life. It really doesn't occur to them, when they are waking up the whole house by "looking for a snack" at 3 am, that they are basically the shittiest housemate that their parents have ever had, and their parents are eagerly waiting for normalcy to resume when they finally move out. To the teenager, their behavior is completely normal, and their parents just need to deal with it because that's life.

Personally, I'm in countdown mode. As soon as the smallest one turns 18 I'm moving into a smaller house so they can't move back in.

And then they leave, and you go crazy in the silence.

Trust me on this one.

It's possible. I think there may be a pretty significant difference between how introverts and extraverts respond, though. My friend Gordon is an introvert, and his last kid just moved out a couple weeks ago, and he's just enjoying the shit out of having all his space and privacy back, and not cleaning up after anyone.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

Saturdays work.  Helpful hint:  Get a friend to come help you supervise.  You two drink tea.  Tell the kids they can do whatever they like when you're happy with the house.  This should take 6-8 hours no matter what.

I don't EVER have 6 hours in a row to do something like that! I can't even imagine what that's like. It'll have to wait until after the term ends, I guess.

[Doktor Howl]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

Saturdays work.  Helpful hint:  Get a friend to come help you supervise.  You two drink tea.  Tell the kids they can do whatever they like when you're happy with the house.  This should take 6-8 hours no matter what.

I don't EVER have 6 hours in a row to do something like that! I can't even imagine what that's like. It'll have to wait until after the term ends, I guess.

Or you could do homework and have Cordelia terrorize them into working.

I mean, I know it's a distraction, but it's for the children.  HA.  HAHA.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

Saturdays work.  Helpful hint:  Get a friend to come help you supervise.  You two drink tea.  Tell the kids they can do whatever they like when you're happy with the house.  This should take 6-8 hours no matter what.

I don't EVER have 6 hours in a row to do something like that! I can't even imagine what that's like. It'll have to wait until after the term ends, I guess.

Or you could do homework and have Cordelia terrorize them into working.

I mean, I know it's a distraction, but it's for the children.  HA.  HAHA.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That would probably work, actually.

[Doktor Howl]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

Saturdays work.  Helpful hint:  Get a friend to come help you supervise.  You two drink tea.  Tell the kids they can do whatever they like when you're happy with the house.  This should take 6-8 hours no matter what.

I don't EVER have 6 hours in a row to do something like that! I can't even imagine what that's like. It'll have to wait until after the term ends, I guess.

Or you could do homework and have Cordelia terrorize them into working.

I mean, I know it's a distraction, but it's for the children.  HA.  HAHA.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That would probably work, actually.

She could casually mention that there's a shortage of bits at work.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

Nobody leaves til the house is cleaned and scrubbed.  Everyone cleans everything, no matter whose mess it was.

Do that a time or two, they'll start picking up after themselves.

Good idea.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damn busy with school that I have a hard time riding herd over them and breathing down their necks to make them get shit clean.

Saturdays work.  Helpful hint:  Get a friend to come help you supervise.  You two drink tea.  Tell the kids they can do whatever they like when you're happy with the house.  This should take 6-8 hours no matter what.

I don't EVER have 6 hours in a row to do something like that! I can't even imagine what that's like. It'll have to wait until after the term ends, I guess.

Or you could do homework and have Cordelia terrorize them into working.

I mean, I know it's a distraction, but it's for the children.  HA.  HAHA.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That would probably work, actually.

She could casually mention that there's a shortage of bits at work.

She should get good and close, look deeply into their eyes, and then say "Those would work".