PANGO! INTERNATIONAL: HOSTILE TAKEOVER OF DISCORDICORP™

[Ben Shapiro]

PANGO how do you feel about half bear/half men?

[PANGO!]

PANGO how do you feel about half bear/half men?

ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES FOR ANIMAL TEST SUBJECTS IN PANGO! INTERNATIONAL COSMETICS LABORATORY. IS DEPARTMENT WITH FASTEST GROWING SURVIVAL RATE!

[Junkenstein]

P!I WILL NOT HARM DISCORDIAN BRAND BY RELEASING ANYTHING UNDER SAID BRAND WHICH WOULD EMBARRASS DISCORDIANS. FOR EXAMPLE, P!I PROMISE NOT TO DEVELOP AND PUBLISH "DISCORDIAN GUIDE TO PORTLAND AREA PUBLIC RESTROOM DO'S AND DON'TS"

GLORIOUS PANGO!, How do we know you won't do a yahoo and take all the porn? What makes this hostile takeover more trustworthy than average?

[Ben Shapiro]

PANGO how do you feel about half bear/half men?

ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES FOR ANIMAL TEST SUBJECTS IN PANGO! INTERNATIONAL COSMETICS LABORATORY. IS DEPARTMENT WITH FASTEST GROWING SURVIVAL RATE!

Finally a excuse to wear make-up.

[EK WAFFLR]

But what about Belgium?

[PANGO!]

P!I WILL NOT HARM DISCORDIAN BRAND BY RELEASING ANYTHING UNDER SAID BRAND WHICH WOULD EMBARRASS DISCORDIANS. FOR EXAMPLE, P!I PROMISE NOT TO DEVELOP AND PUBLISH "DISCORDIAN GUIDE TO PORTLAND AREA PUBLIC RESTROOM DO'S AND DON'TS"

GLORIOUS PANGO!, How do we know you won't do a yahoo and take all the porn? What makes this hostile takeover more trustworthy than average?

PANGO! INTERNATIONAL IS GLOBAL LEADER IN PORN. WOULD MAKE NO SENSE FOR TAKING AWAY THE PORN, AND WOULD CAUSE DANGEROUS SPIKE IN FURRY UNEMPLOYMENT. HAVE YOU NEVER WONDER WHY PANHANDLERS NEVER DRESSED AS ZEBRAS? IS THANKS TO PANGO! INTERNATIONAL.

AS FOR TRUSTWORTHINESS, COME NOW MORTAL DOG, EXACTLY WHAT DOES "MORE TRUSTWORTHY THAN AVERAGE" MEAN WHEN TALKING ABOUT DISCORDICORP™? DISCORDIANS LESS TRUSTWORTHY THAN APOLOGY TEXT FROM ANTHONY WEINER. IS NO STANDARD.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Even though my salary is exactly the same, apparently working for PANGO! INTERNATIONAL puts me in a different tax bracket somehow.

Mr. The DR PANGO!, what exactly is going on here?

[PANGO!]

Even though my salary is exactly the same, apparently working for PANGO! INTERNATIONAL puts me in a different tax bracket somehow.

Mr. The DR PANGO!, what exactly is going on here?

TECHNICALLY YOU ARE WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF PANGO! INTERNATIONAL. THIS IS MOSTLY HARMLESS LEGAL CLASSIFICATION BUT DOES HAVE SOMEWHAT INCONVENIENT EFFECT OF REQUIRING YOUR NET INCOME APPROACH ZERO AFTER TAXES. IS COMPLICATED, PANGO! NOT HAVE TIME FOR LEARNING IT ALL. ASK ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT.

ALSO WE HAVE NOT YET HIRED ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT.

[Cainad (dec.)]

But... but I AM in Accounting...

[Junkenstein]

But... but I AM in Accounting...

THEN IT IS OWN FAULT

[PANGO!]

PANGO! INTERNATIONAL
DISCORDICORP DIVISION



M   E   M   O   R   A   N   D   U   M

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, ALL CURRENT AND FUTURE DISCORDICORP EMPLOYEES (FULL-TIME AND PART-TIME), CONTRACTORS, CONSULTANTS, AND OTHER  AFFILIATES MUST CEASE USING THE RESTROOM ON FLOOR 3. AS YOU KNOW THESE FACILITIES ARE HOME TO AN INVASIVE FUNGUS THAT THRIVES ON HUMAN EXCREMENT, AND WHILE WE APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S ENTHUSIASM FOR SEEING JUST HOW HUNGRY IT IS, THE TENANTS ON FLOOR 2 ARE BEGINNING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SEEPAGE.

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT PHIL IN MAINTENANCE.

[EK WAFFLR]

But what about Belgium?

[Junkenstein]

[Triple Zero]

they forgot about Belgium ...

[PANGO!]

But what about Belgium?

WHAT IS BELGIUM?

SMALL, MEANINGLESS COUNTRY IN EUROPE, NO?

I BELIEVE CHIEF EXPORT IS BROKEN DREAMS.

PANGO! INTERNATIONAL NOT INTERESTED TO BE THAT INTERNATIONAL.