So, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and a brain surgeon walk into a bar...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

At first, I was kind of pissed that my thread became another RWHN thread.

Then I remembered that it's a joke thread, and suddenly it was very fitting.

[Suu]

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together."

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother."

The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine, I just quit drinking."

[P3nT4gR4m]

A scotsman walks into a bar


... and that's about all I can remember about that night

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

A scotsman walks into a bar


... and that's about all I can remember about that night

TROOF.

[Cain]

Scotsman don't go to bars.  Bars are for southern pansies who can't hold their beer, and children.

A Scotsman would only go to a bar with another bar.

[P3nT4gR4m]

[McGrupp]

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a bar, looking at an empty house opposite.

They see two people enter the house, and a short while later they see three people leave.

The biologist says 'They must have reproduced."

The physicist says "Experimental error. Our observations must be wrong."

The mathematician says "If one person enters the house now, then it will be empty again."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a bar, looking at an empty house opposite.

They see two people enter the house, and a short while later they see three people leave.

The biologist says 'They must have reproduced."

The physicist says "Experimental error. Our observations must be wrong."

The mathematician says "If one person enters the house now, then it will be empty again."

[Suu]

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.

"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"

The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."

"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"

"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

[McGrupp]

A dyslexic walks into a bra.....

[Suu]

A dyslexic walks into a bra.....

[Suu]

An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

[Suu]

 Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says.

The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a 'martini'?"

"Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

[Cramulus]

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says.

The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a 'martini'?"

"Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

ahhhh

[Suu]

I have way too many of these.

A guy walks into a bar. The Bartender asks, "Hey, how's it going?"

The guy replies, "Okay, I guess. Holding my own."

"That's good." replied the bartender. "You'd get arrested if you held someone else's."