ITT, My Company Goes Full Retard*

[Pæs]

There's an update to the "Values Blueprint" process. I asked the ONE (1) person from my department who was included in this, since there has been no official word on whatever they did. Apparently, it was a 2-day meeting with 50 people in a hotel conference room. The idea was that everyone would have equal input regardless of their department or level. But, of course, it was entirely derailed by one asshole from Sales who insisted that everything anyone else suggested basically boiled down to his idea.

So the Values Blueprint will include the following two primary "Values:"

1. Dedication.
2. Profit.

Nope not kidding.

Dedication to what? I think you should make a big deal about that.

To profit, clearly.

That asshat in sales may have just created the first truly honest corporate values statement ever.

Now there will be posters in every room of the building reminding people "PROFIT BEFORE ALL ELSE".
Whistleblowers will be sat down in a room, a harsh light turned on their face and their manager will prod them in the chest and snarl "I am beginning to question your dedication to profit. WE ALL DECIDED TO BE DEDICATED TO PROFIT."

[Bu🤠ns]

The whole corporate / value thing, I think, can be useful for guiding decisions....that is, if the company also follows those values.  Now I have my own sense of work ethic that includes ideas like servant leadership, sincerity, honesty...etc. And I found they tend to mesh well with my own corporation's  ideals (despite my corporation just doing it for good PR).

What is cool about your corporation doing this, V3X, is now you can hold them accountable to these values.  Which may or may not be useful from time to time.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I feel like there's a poster in this somewhere...

[Pæs]

What is cool about your corporation doing this, V3X, is now you can hold them accountable to these values.  Which may or may not be useful from time to time.

If they ever lose sight of the importance of profit.

[Bu🤠ns]

What is cool about your corporation doing this, V3X, is now you can hold them accountable to these values.  Which may or may not be useful from time to time.

If they ever lose sight of the importance of profit.

That's only when they need to stretch things.   If they sacrifice one in favor of the other...you might still be able to. Not saying it's good for keeping one's job intact, however.

[Junkenstein]

What is cool about your corporation doing this, V3X, is now you can hold them accountable to these values.  Which may or may not be useful from time to time.

If they ever lose sight of the importance of profit.

Which, legally, they can't do.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

In the interest of providing closure to this topic, I will now post the actual values that were ultimately decided on. Looks like Sales Ass will be disappointed, since "Profit" did not actually end up on the list.



I would comment on this, but I can't bring myself to actually read it. Also, everyone has been given a little deck of cards which we are supposed to fill out and give to someone every time they show their Company Spirit. In light of these values, I think I should give at least three to my boss, who just yesterday issued the following proclamation to everyone in our department:

Well, the <main product platform> crashed this morning. Happily, the blame is being directed at Engineering and not at us (for a change). For the rest of this week all system-level work is on hold. I really don't want to give Engineering any chance to point the finger at us.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Company spirit.   

That's another way of management saying "Well, we don't actually have a plan..."

[Cain]

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