From the Desk of TGRR; Corporate Life in the 21st Century (blog)

[Junkenstein]

That is the DREAM JOB.  Why would you EVER leave?

I strongly suspect the owner is Bipolar or whatever the current acceptable term is. In the past week he has burst into tears multiple time over incredibly minor issues. Such as him parking his car at a slight angle. I'm talking 3 year old dropped his Ice-cream tears.

There's also the problem of this place losing cash hand over fist by suiciding 3 jobs (Taking work to win client/spite other business). This is better than when I started. There were 6 jobs like that. The place literally lacks multiple competent required people and discussing hiring/firing results in tears. As a result I've assumed a defacto HR role. I didn't really want that.

Ah well. Pays. Will do Moe next.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The way you tell it, it really is pretty goddamned funny.

Well, that's the bit you have to remember.

Doktor Howl's 1st Law:  Everything is funny when it happens to someone else.

Doktor Howl's 2nd Law:  It's still funny when it happens to you.

In this case, there is a cyclone of ego-fueled butthurt.  Mike is willing to destroy equipment, to impugn the integrity of everyone else, potentially endanger dozens of lives, and even to break federal finance law to avoid admitting he made a mistake.

How is that shit NOT funny?

[LMNO]

Well, when you put it that way... 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

If there's ever a "Take Someone from the Internet to Work With You" day, I wanna go to work with you, Roger, just to watch.

[Reginald Ret]

I got that, I merely wished to add that he also implied they were about as badly paid as temps making him stupid on several levels.

Well, the guys know him well.  Mike does not believe that life is multicellular until it has a degree.  Below that, all persons are equal.

It occurs to me that the reason he believes this way is that the degree is all he has.

Therefore it must be the most important thing in the entire world.

That sounds like typical human reasoning.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

If there's ever a "Take Someone from the Internet to Work With You" day, I wanna go to work with you, Roger, just to watch.

Careful what you wish for.  I mean, this is Tucson, right?  The normal rules don't apply.  Stupidity has reached toxic levels.  I'd be worried if I wasn't already dead.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Well, when you put it that way... 

What other way is there?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

If there's ever a "Take Someone from the Internet to Work With You" day, I wanna go to work with you, Roger, just to watch.

Careful what you wish for.  I mean, this is Tucson, right?  The normal rules don't apply.  Stupidity has reached toxic levels.  I'd be worried if I wasn't already dead.

This is why I stick to simple jobs. The levels of stupidity are still high but I am less likely to be maimed because of anyone else's incompetence.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

If there's ever a "Take Someone from the Internet to Work With You" day, I wanna go to work with you, Roger, just to watch.

Careful what you wish for.  I mean, this is Tucson, right?  The normal rules don't apply.  Stupidity has reached toxic levels.  I'd be worried if I wasn't already dead.

This is why I stick to simple jobs. The levels of stupidity are still high but I am less likely to be maimed because of anyone else's incompetence.

But I need that threat.  It's what makes me feel ALIVE.  Which is a huge thing, when you're dead.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

If there's ever a "Take Someone from the Internet to Work With You" day, I wanna go to work with you, Roger, just to watch.

Careful what you wish for.  I mean, this is Tucson, right?  The normal rules don't apply.  Stupidity has reached toxic levels.  I'd be worried if I wasn't already dead.

This is why I stick to simple jobs. The levels of stupidity are still high but I am less likely to be maimed because of anyone else's incompetence.

But I need that threat.  It's what makes me feel ALIVE.  Which is a huge thing, when you're dead.

If that's what floats your boat and strums your banjo, then by all means. I think, for me, it would get monotonous after awhile. But I'd be interested in spending a day where you work just to see these people in action.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

If there's ever a "Take Someone from the Internet to Work With You" day, I wanna go to work with you, Roger, just to watch.

Careful what you wish for.  I mean, this is Tucson, right?  The normal rules don't apply.  Stupidity has reached toxic levels.  I'd be worried if I wasn't already dead.

This is why I stick to simple jobs. The levels of stupidity are still high but I am less likely to be maimed because of anyone else's incompetence.

But I need that threat.  It's what makes me feel ALIVE.  Which is a huge thing, when you're dead.

If that's what floats your boat and strums your banjo, then by all means. I think, for me, it would get monotonous after awhile. But I'd be interested in spending a day where you work just to see these people in action.

ANNNNNNNNNNNND THE OLD 8 FOOT BALL MILL JUST SHAT TOO.


GO TUCSON! GO TUCSON!
\

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Damn. That place is like Tales from the Crypt meets the Twilight Zone meets Office Space.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Damn. That place is like Tales from the Crypt meets the Twilight Zone meets Office Space.

It's awesome, really.  I wouldn't work anywhere else.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Damn. That place is like Tales from the Crypt meets the Twilight Zone meets Office Space.

It's awesome, really.  I wouldn't work anywhere else.

You say that because there's no where else TO work. Everywhere you'd go would be the same place with a different logo and different names for the morons.

[Junkenstein]

Moe!
In
"The Client Pays For That"

Moe is around 5ft of incompetence. He carries a disposition of eager helpfulness to anyone deemed a friend. His help seems to largely result in harm, cost or a combination of the two. His enemies are treated to terrible eyeball to the torso. "Impotent" would be a fairly quick characterisation.

As mentioned, work is primarily being done for a song. This results in me squeezing any extra cash I can out of the client for the pettiest of things because the other option is "Make even less money". I'm told economists say this is not a sustainable business model. I have had to communicate the Holy Word of this upon starting and I made it very, very clear.

(Everyone got an a4 laminated sheet with the following)

Front side - Size 72 - Training.
Back - 48 -"I don't know. I think there will be extra costs for that. I'll call (Junkie)"

And the Holy Word was relayed that this must be the mantra spoken whenever a client asks you to do anything beyond your current job. Anything. ANYTHING. Unless it's stopping you get killed, you speak the gospel.

Time passes. Calls are made. Daywork sheets are signed. Life is good. Then Moe lost his training manual.

I greet Moe on a miserable morning loading shitty bits of plate onto a wagon. This is curious behaviour. I enquire further.

M:Road plates for Client
J:What?
M:He wanted road plates
J:So...
M:So we got these
J:What?
M:Road plates
J:No.

During the above exchange a glance determines that placing these things on a road will do far more damage to the road than protection. They are, in a word, Fucked. Highly unsuitable for a restrictive site.

M:Needs em for a crane
J:So ring me. We agree costs and I sort it or hire something. This will not work.
M:He's a mate it's a favour
J:You fuck your friends over when they ask for help? Are you evil or just fucking stupid?
M:it'll work
J:No. It will not. Stop this now. I will sort this out. Go and study your training manual for an hour tonight and write me 500 words on what it means to you.
M:Lost it
J:Borrow someone else's. This is a verbal warning for losing your training manual before you absorbed its wisdom. Failure to produce at least a couple of sentences will result in a written warning.

I later observe Curly mocking Moe on having to do homework. Curly pats Moe on the head. Moe head-butts Curly. I saw nothing further as I doubled over in laughter.

Moe managed to produce "If we dont bill (Client) we dont get paid"

I gave him a C, and silently congratulated him on avoiding the written warning. Moe is clearly the leader of the group of cretins here and I must treat him with care.

I should note, out of about 50/70 guys, there's only really 5/6 dickheads. I consider these actions morale building as they seem to be widely known for fuckups of all kinds.