News:

Testamonial:  "My god, you people are depressing."

Main Menu

From the Desk of TGRR; Corporate Life in the 21st Century (blog)

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, August 21, 2013, 05:12:59 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Q. G. Pennyworth

I'm kind of embarrassed how long I watched that expecting it to be animated.

LMNO


Junkenstein

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 30, 2013, 08:46:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on August 30, 2013, 06:24:53 PM
7 sacked today. 1 redundancy, 3 for various gross misconduct and 3 for stupidity. Today has been a very angry day.

And yet, the stooges walked away clean. I'm wavering between admiration and disgust.

How.  How, I ask, does the guy who gave the orders, in spite of cautions against doing so, not get fired?

The answer lies in self incrimination. Also in stupid breaches of site safety. It's something of a no-no to wander under or around a machine when it's working. It's not advisable to smoke in confined spaces either.

I've literally never had to write this many terminations of employment at a place. It does appear that the message is getting through though. I'm shoving the competent guys through training as quickly as possible to replace the losses so far.

Out of the 13 that have gone so far, I'm actually pretty gutted about 3 of them. Not gutted enough to reconsider as they were likely to kill someone sooner or later, but they had some decent tales. 
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

THE CONTINUATION OF THE BALL MILL SAGA:

Big meeting, Mike's suspension cancelled because vendors from all over the place are here.

We have now proven, with SCIENCE, that the problem HAS to be the ring gear.  This was after we replaced the $14,000 mill bearings (actually cost way more than $28K, but there's a lot involved).

So we have this big meeting 2 hours ago.  The ring gear IS the problem.  We have imported 2 crazy Germans who have shown WHY the ring gear is the PROBLEM, and the gearbox is a SYMPTOM.

Tracking so far?  Ring gear = root cause, gearbox = "victim" of ring gear.

Everyone in the room has had this bashed into their head with a combination of basic math, physics, and metallurgy.

Meeting is drawing to a close, nobody has shat the bed yet.

WAIT FOR IT...

As we are all standing up to leave, Mike says "I have one more thing I want to talk about..."

Oh, Mike, and you were doing SO well.

Mike:  "We haven't talked about the problem with the gearbox."

My boss turns purple.  I laugh so hard I fall off my chair.  The German guys start screaming abuse at him.  The gear consultant guys from Phoenix sit there staring like a dog came up to them and started singing fucking Clauda Rogers tunes.  The gearbox manufacturing rep looks like he's having a stroke.

Total chaos.  I leave.

10 minutes later, Mike's suspension is reinstated, Jim put Lilly in charge, she refused, they both drive off in different directions, vendors bailing out left and right.

I am the only manager left on the property.


WHAT HAPPENED?
\
:sadbanana:



:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

Forget a camera.

We need to make a fucking PLAY out of this. 

Eat shit, Stoppard. 

Reginald Ret

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 04, 2013, 08:31:13 PM
Forget a camera.

We need to make a fucking PLAY out of this. 

Eat shit, Stoppard.
YES!

*Mike enters from the left
*Everybody's face slightly contorts.
Mike: "We haven't talked about the problem with the gearbox."
etc
etc
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Cainad (dec.)

 :lulz:

Every single time one of these stories comes out, I always have a brief thought that runs through my head that says, "There's no way they can top this!"

Then I squash that thought with a phonebook and beg forgiveness from Tuscon for ever doubting that it can always get dumber and weirder.

Q. G. Pennyworth

Do we need to do a recruitment drive for PD so you can devour more newbies? This shit is  :banana: :sexybeast: :banana: :buttsecks: :sadbanana: :banana: :craig: :sexybeast: :banana: :sadbanana: :banana:

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cainad on September 04, 2013, 08:42:27 PM
:lulz:

Every single time one of these stories comes out, I always have a brief thought that runs through my head that says, "There's no way they can top this!"

Then I squash that thought with a phonebook and beg forgiveness from Tuscon for ever doubting that it can always get dumber and weirder.

It's like I live in the factory where they manufacture idiots.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO


The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 04, 2013, 08:24:35 PM
THE CONTINUATION OF THE BALL MILL SAGA:

Big meeting, Mike's suspension cancelled because vendors from all over the place are here.

We have now proven, with SCIENCE, that the problem HAS to be the ring gear.  This was after we replaced the $14,000 mill bearings (actually cost way more than $28K, but there's a lot involved).

So we have this big meeting 2 hours ago.  The ring gear IS the problem.  We have imported 2 crazy Germans who have shown WHY the ring gear is the PROBLEM, and the gearbox is a SYMPTOM.

Tracking so far?  Ring gear = root cause, gearbox = "victim" of ring gear.

Everyone in the room has had this bashed into their head with a combination of basic math, physics, and metallurgy.

Meeting is drawing to a close, nobody has shat the bed yet.

WAIT FOR IT...

As we are all standing up to leave, Mike says "I have one more thing I want to talk about..."

Oh, Mike, and you were doing SO well.

Mike:  "We haven't talked about the problem with the gearbox."

My boss turns purple.  I laugh so hard I fall off my chair.  The German guys start screaming abuse at him.  The gear consultant guys from Phoenix sit there staring like a dog came up to them and started singing fucking Clauda Rogers tunes.  The gearbox manufacturing rep looks like he's having a stroke.

Total chaos.  I leave.

10 minutes later, Mike's suspension is reinstated, Jim put Lilly in charge, she refused, they both drive off in different directions, vendors bailing out left and right.

I am the only manager left on the property.


WHAT HAPPENED?
\
:sadbanana:



:lulz:

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Just catching up with all this.
Mike the Engineer, right? As in "guy with some kind of degree in engineering"?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on September 04, 2013, 08:24:35 PM
THE CONTINUATION OF THE BALL MILL SAGA:

Big meeting, Mike's suspension cancelled because vendors from all over the place are here.

We have now proven, with SCIENCE, that the problem HAS to be the ring gear.  This was after we replaced the $14,000 mill bearings (actually cost way more than $28K, but there's a lot involved).

So we have this big meeting 2 hours ago.  The ring gear IS the problem.  We have imported 2 crazy Germans who have shown WHY the ring gear is the PROBLEM, and the gearbox is a SYMPTOM.

Tracking so far?  Ring gear = root cause, gearbox = "victim" of ring gear.

Everyone in the room has had this bashed into their head with a combination of basic math, physics, and metallurgy.

Meeting is drawing to a close, nobody has shat the bed yet.

WAIT FOR IT...

As we are all standing up to leave, Mike says "I have one more thing I want to talk about..."

Oh, Mike, and you were doing SO well.

Mike:  "We haven't talked about the problem with the gearbox."

My boss turns purple.  I laugh so hard I fall off my chair.  The German guys start screaming abuse at him.  The gear consultant guys from Phoenix sit there staring like a dog came up to them and started singing fucking Clauda Rogers tunes.  The gearbox manufacturing rep looks like he's having a stroke.

Total chaos.  I leave.

10 minutes later, Mike's suspension is reinstated, Jim put Lilly in charge, she refused, they both drive off in different directions, vendors bailing out left and right.

I am the only manager left on the property.


WHAT HAPPENED?
\
:sadbanana:



:lulz:

These are the days it's all worth it.

DRINK IT UP.

:lulz:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.