Your life isn't that fucking bad. (NSFW link)

[Reginald Ret]

This reminds me of a time in highschool when rumors were going around about some girl rubbing peanutbutter on her pussy to get her dog to lick it. Everybody reacted shocked that she did it, My first reaction was shock that she would tell anyone about it. That is not the kind of news that gets out without the perp talking about it.
Of course, after witnessing my reaction, people looked at me weirdly too.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think that rumor exists about someone in every high school ever, and the worst part is that while I know it happens, I think that roughly 100% of the high school rumors are started maliciously just because some assholes think it would be funny to torment some poor kid.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I think from the description that I had better not click that link.

You don't need to.  You don't want to.

Just relax.  No matter what the fuck happens to the ecology, the government, our lives, our freedom, or our standard of living, you can just relax.  Because you aren't Herminio Rivera Couceiro.

It's like you made this comment without even the remotest inkling that Herminio Rivero Couceiro is, in fact, the most perfect analogy of 21st Century America I have ever heard of.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I think that rumor exists about someone in every high school ever, and the worst part is that while I know it happens, I think that roughly 100% of the high school rumors are started maliciously just because some assholes think it would be funny to torment some poor kid.

Not all of them.

Lonnie Leonard really did shit himself in the cafeteria. I was there. I had to smell it.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Also, you will probably never have the "google problem" that Bryan James Hathaway has.

Good luck on your job search, Bryan!

I googled.
He has a PETITION (on top of everything else) http://www.petitiononline.com/free101/petition.html

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, you will probably never have the "google problem" that Bryan James Hathaway has.

Good luck on your job search, Bryan!

I googled.
He has a PETITION (on top of everything else) http://www.petitiononline.com/free101/petition.html

OH GOD PLEASE LET THAT BE A JOKE.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

243 signatures.