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If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

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Your Nation's Athem Broken Down Into Humanspeak™

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, September 16, 2013, 10:20:55 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Ben Shapiro


Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 03:28:48 AM
Quote from: What The Fox Say on September 16, 2013, 11:40:54 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 16, 2013, 10:49:00 PM
Quote from: What The Fox Say on September 16, 2013, 10:43:08 PM
It's the 1904 version, which already seems quite long enough.

The last verse is ONLY sung at West Point.

Ah, OK.

I'm a moron.  You DID include the last verse, and somehow I looked right past it.

:lulz:

I have no excuse, no reason for that at all.

:lol:

I was confused, but I totally believed you.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Pæs

Quote from: Twigel on September 17, 2013, 03:57:00 AM
It seems like a lot of these anthems are:
"We're totally peace-loving democratic people. And we will totally kill you."

Especially when taking Ireland, Norway and New Zealand into account.

Mexico cuts straight to "we will fucking kill you."

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Pæs on September 17, 2013, 08:04:53 AM
Quote from: Twigel on September 17, 2013, 03:57:00 AM
It seems like a lot of these anthems are:
"We're totally peace-loving democratic people. And we will totally kill you."

Especially when taking Ireland, Norway and New Zealand into account.

Mexico cuts straight to "we will fucking kill you."

:lulz:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Cain


Pæs

Quote from: Cain on September 17, 2013, 08:32:58 AM
Australia's official national anthem is fairly lame:

    Australians all let us rejoice,
    For we are young and free where "Australian" does not include the elderly or the oppressed aboriginal population;
    We've golden soil and wealth for toil that's right, sandy and lots of hard work;
    Our home is girt by sea which is fortunate because;
    Our land abounds in nature's poisonous "gifts"
    Of beauty rich and rare and extremely poisonous;
    In history's page, let every stage
    Advance Australia Fair to whites.
    In joyful strains then let us sing,
    Advance Australia Fair to whites.

    Beneath our radiant Southern Cross (look at the stars, they draw the attention away from the spiders and snakes and locals
    We'll toil with hearts and hands; more hard work
    To make this Commonwealth of ours
    Renowned of all the lands;
    For those who've come across the seas as prisoners
    We've boundless plains to share; GET YOUR SCORCHING SUNNY PLAINS HERE
    With courage let us all combine
    To Advance Australia Fair. for whites
    In joyful strains then let us sing,
    Advance Australia Fair. for whites

EK WAFFLR

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 03:37:58 AM
Yes, we love this country Which rises up, <--- What is up with you and the damn Canucks rising up?
Rugged and weathered, above the sea,
With its thousands of homes. <--- Mild exaggeration, I think.
Love it, love it and think <--- Pervert beardos.
About our mothers and fathers <--- See above.
And the saga of past ages
That sends dreams to our earth,
And the saga of past ages
That sends dreams, sends dreams to our earth. <--- I have NO idea what the hell those 4 lines mean.  WTF?

Norseman, in house and cabin, <--- Do you really need both?
Thank your great God! <---  Björn Ulvaeus?
It was His will to protect the country <--- Except for that little thing in the 1940s.
Although things looked dark. <--- That's because you're above the Arctic Circle.  It's dark 6 months each year.
While fathers fought <--- If they gave both teams a puck, that wouldn't happen.
And mothers cried, <--- Mommy cries because you're bad.
Our Lord quietly opened the way <--- Benny Andersson?
So that we won our right. <--- Right to what?
Our Lord quietly opened the way <--- ‎Frida Lyngstad?
So that we won, we won our right. <--- Goddammit, be more specific!  RIGHT TO WHAT?

Yes, we love this country <--- Except the Death Metal guys.  They aren't allowed to love ANYTHING.  EVER.
Which rises up, <--- You and the fucking Canadians have to knock this off.  Nail the fucking thing down.
Rugged and weathered, above the sea,
With its thousands of homes. <--- Hundreds, tops.
And as our fathers' struggle has raised it <--- If you'd stop raising the damn thing and get jobs...
From distress to victory, <--- ...None of this would be necessary!
We also, when called upon,
Will strike a blow for its peace. <--- Dick Cheney?
We also, when called upon,
Will strike a blow for its peace, its peace. <--- George Bush?

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Cainad (dec.)

I think the French have it figured out (you can skip the verses in between the ~~~~, apparently they aren't sung as part of the anthem today):

Let's go children of the fatherland,
The day of glory has arrived!
Against us tyranny's
Bloody flag is raised! (repeat)
In the countryside, do you hear
The roaring of these fierce soldiers?
They come right to our arms
To slit the throats of our sons, our friends!


Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields!

~~~~

This horde of slaves, traitors, plotting kings,
What do they want?
For whom these vile shackles,
These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
Frenchmen, for us, oh! what an insult!
What emotions that must excite!
It is us that they dare to consider
Returning to ancient slavery!

What! These foreign troops
Would make laws in our home!
What! These mercenary phalanxes
Would bring down our proud warriors! (repeat)
Good Lord! By chained hands
Our brows would bend beneath the yoke!
Vile despots would become
The masters of our fate!

Tremble, tyrants! and you, traitors,
The disgrace of all groups,
Tremble! Your parricidal plans
Will finally pay the price! (repeat)
Everyone is a soldier to fight you,
If they fall, our young heros,
France will make more,
Ready to battle you!

Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
Bear or hold back your blows!
Spare these sad victims,
Regretfully arming against us. (repeat)
But not these bloodthirsty despots,
But not these accomplices of Bouillé,
All of these animals who, without pity,
Tear their mother's breast to pieces!

~~~~

Sacred love of France,
Lead, support our avenging arms!
Liberty, beloved Liberty,
Fight with your defenders! (repeat)
Under our flags, let victory
Hasten to your manly tones!
May your dying enemies
See your triumph and our glory!


We will enter the pit
When our elders are no longer there;
There, we will find their dust
And the traces of their virtues. (repeat)
Much less eager to outlive them
Than to share their casket,
We will have the sublime pride
Of avenging them or following them!

Reginald Ret

Dutch National Anthem: Het Wilhelmus. (Holy crap, that is long, never knew that)

William of Nassau
am I, of German blood.
Loyal to the fatherland
I will remain until I die.
A prince of Orange
am I, free and fearless.
The king of Spain
I have always honoured.

To live in fear of God
I have always attempted.
Because of this I was ousted
bereft of my land and my people.
But God will direct me
like a good instrument.
So that I may return
to my domain.

Hold on my subjects,
who are honest by nature.
God will not abandon you
even though you now are in despair.
He who tries to live piously,
must pray to God day and night,
that He will give me strength
that I may help you.

My life and fortune altogether
I have not spared you.
My brothers high in rank
have shown you this as well:
Count Adolf died
in battle in Frisia
His soul in eternal life
awaits the final judgement.

Noble and high-born,
of imperial descent,
Chosen a prince of the empire,
Like a pious Christian,
for the honoured word of God,
I have without hesitation
like a fearless hero,
ventured my own noble blood.

My shield and reliance
are you, o God my Lord.
It is you on whom I want to rely,
never leave me again.
[Grant] that I may remain brave,
your servant for always,
and [may] defeat the tyranny,
which pierces my heart.

From all those that burden me
and are my pursuers,
my God, do save
your loyal servant.
That they may not surprise me
with their wicked plans
nor wash their hands
in my innocent blood.

Like David, who was forced to flee
from Saul, the tyrant.
I had to sigh, 
as did many other nobles.
But God raised him,
relieving him of despair,
and gave him a kingdom
very great in Israel.

After this sourness I will receive
from God my Lord the sweetness
For that longs so much
my noble mind
which is that I may die
with honour in the fields,
and gain an eternal realm
as a faithful hero.

Nothing makes me pity so much
in my adversity,
then that are seen to be impoverishing
the good lands of the King
That you are molested by the Spaniards,
O Noble Netherlands sweet,
when I think of that,
my noble heart bleeds.

Seated [on horseback] like a prince,
with my armed forces,
Defied by the tyrant,
I awaited the battle.
Those dug in at Maastricht
were afraid of my might
People saw my horsemen ride
bravely through the fields.

If it had been the Lord's will,
at the time,
I would have gladly relieved
you of this heavy tempest.
But the Lord above,
who rules all,
He who we should always praise,
did not desire so.

By a Christian mood was driven
My princely heart
Steadfast remained
my heart in adversity
To the Lord I prayed,
from the bottom of my heart,
that He may save my cause,
and proclaim my innocence.

Farewell, my poor sheep,
who are in deep despair.
Your shepherd will not sleep,
even though you are now dispersed.
Turn to God,
accept his curing word.
Live as a good Christian;
soon, it will be finished here .

I want to confess to God,
and to his great power
that I have never
despised the King.
except that to God the Lord,
the highest Majesty
I've been obedient
in justice.

Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Cramulus



What ever happened to predictability?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go (there's a heart).
There's a heart
A hand to hold onto.

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go.
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you.

Evey where you look,
When you're lost out there and you're all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home,
Everywhere you look.
Everywhere you look.




*puts hand to ear*

What? That's not the National Anthem?

That's the theme song from Full House??

What the fuck, I thought they used the national anthem as their theme. No??? FUCK

THIS IS BULLSHIT, MY WHOLE FUCKING CHILDHOOD WAS A LIE

Anna Mae Bollocks

ATTN: ROGER


Texas, our Texas! All hail the mighty State!
Texas, our Texas! So wonderful so great!
Boldest and grandest, Withstanding ev'ry test;
O Empire wide and glorious, You stand supremely blest.


[Refrain] God bless you Texas! And keep you brave and strong,
That you may grow in power and worth, Thro'out the ages long.

Texas, O Texas! Your freeborn single star,
Sends out its radiance to nations near and far.
Emblem of freedom! It sets our hearts aglow,
With thoughts of San Jacinto and glorious Alamo.

[Refrain]

Texas, dear Texas! From tyrant grip now free,
Shines forth in splendor your star of destiny!
Mother of heroes! We come your children true,
Proclaiming our allegiance, our faith, our love for you.

[Refrain]
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

LMNO

Money is the anthem
Of success
So before we go out
What's your address?

I'm your national anthem
God, you're so handsome
Take me to the Hamptons
Bugatti Veyron

He loves to romance 'em,
Reckless abandon,
Holdin' me for ransom,
Upper echelon.

He says to "be cool" but,
I don't know how yet.
Wind in my hair,
Hand on the back of my neck.
I said, "Can we party later on?"
He said, "Yes, yes." (Yes.)

Tell me I'm your National Anthem.
(Ooh, yeah, baby, bow down,)
(Making me so wow, wow.)
Tell me I'm your National Anthem.
(Sugar, sugar, how now,)
(Take your body down town.)
Red, white, blue's in the skies,
Summer's in the air and baby,
Heaven's in your eyes.
I'm your National Anthem.

Money is the reason,
We exist.
Everybody knows it,
It's a fact. Kiss, kiss.

I sing the National Anthem,
While I'm standing,
Over your body,
Hold you like a python.

And you can't keep your hands off.
Me, or your pants on.
See what you've done to me?
Give me Chevron.

You said to "be cool" but,
I'm already coolest.
I said to "get real",
Don't you know who you're dealing with?

Um, do you think you'll buy me,
Lots of diamonds? (Yes, I also brought my gun)

Tell me I'm your National Anthem.
(Ooh, yeah, baby, bow down,)
(Making me so wow, wow.)
Tell me I'm your National Anthem.
(Sugar, sugar, how now,)
(Take your body down town.)
Red, white, blue's in the skies,
Summer's in the air and baby,
Heaven's in your eyes.
I'm your National Anthem.

It's a love story for the new age,
For the six page,
Want a quick, sick rampage?

Wining and dining, drinking and driving,
Excessive buying, overdosin', dyin',
On our drugs and our love,
And our dreams and our rage.

Blurring the lines,
Between real and the fake.
Dark and lonely,
I need somebody to hold me.

We will do very well,
I can tell, I can tell,
Keep my safe in his bell,
Tower, hotel.

Money is the anthem,
Of success.
So put on mascara,
And your party dress.

I'm your National Anthem,
Boy, put your hands up,
Give me a standing ovation.

Boy, you have landed,
Babe, in the land of,
Sweetness and danger,
Queen of Saigon.

Tell me I'm your National Anthem.
(Ooh, yeah, baby, bow down,)
(Making me so wow, wow.)
Tell me I'm your National Anthem.
(Sugar, sugar, how now,)
(Take your body down town.)
Red, white, blue's in the skies,
Summer's in the air and baby,
Heaven's in your eyes.
I'm your National Anthem.

Money is the anthem,
God, you're so handsome.
Money is the anthem,
Of success



Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Land of the Empire Builders,
Land of the Golden West;
Conquered and held by free men,
Fairest and the best.
Onward and upward ever,
Forward and on, and on;
Hail to thee, Land of Heroes,
My Oregon.
Land of the rose and sunshine
Land of the summer's breeze;
Laden with health and vigor,
Fresh from the Western seas.
Blest by the blood of martyrs,
Land of the setting sun;
Hail to thee, Land of Promise,
My Oregon.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."