The First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus and Open Bar™

[Sita]

Besides the whole idea of a vacation is destined to just be a what if thing because I seriously doubt we will have the money after everything gets payed off at tax time. Despite what he thinks.

[Suu]

I'd love to go but husband hates the beach. He doesn't like how the sand gets in everything and refuses to swim in the ocean.

You live in Florida.

Trade that man in and get another one, because he's clearly defective. Or just get him polarized sunglasses. They at least show you where the bull sharks are off the sandbar.

-Suu
Stung by stingray, brushed by a nurse shark (they're like kitties!), chased out of the water by a tiger shark at Weedon Island, caught and ate her own blacktip shark, sat on a cownose ray (don't ask), still goes in the Gulf of Mexico, but not the North Atlantic, because of the jellyfish and Portuguese Men-o-war. Fuck those things.

The trick is, you get the oxygen bottle in the shark's mouth, then you shoot it.

My brother has wanted to try this for years. True story. Though his rig involved a harpoon gun.

A harpoon ain't puncturing a pressure vessel, no matter how fast you shoot it.

I never said he was smart. He has some insane delusions of grandeur.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'd love to go but husband hates the beach. He doesn't like how the sand gets in everything and refuses to swim in the ocean.

You live in Florida.

Trade that man in and get another one, because he's clearly defective. Or just get him polarized sunglasses. They at least show you where the bull sharks are off the sandbar.

-Suu
Stung by stingray, brushed by a nurse shark (they're like kitties!), chased out of the water by a tiger shark at Weedon Island, caught and ate her own blacktip shark, sat on a cownose ray (don't ask), still goes in the Gulf of Mexico, but not the North Atlantic, because of the jellyfish and Portuguese Men-o-war. Fuck those things.

I've lived in Florida my whole life. Been to the beach 3 times at most. I've grown to accept that the beach is just something for me to daydream of.
He doesn't like the idea of swimming with any fish around. Doesn't matter if that fish is a shark, ray or minnow.
And of course he's defective, he married me

What the fuck is this whimpering?

[Suu]

I'd love to go but husband hates the beach. He doesn't like how the sand gets in everything and refuses to swim in the ocean.

You live in Florida.

Trade that man in and get another one, because he's clearly defective. Or just get him polarized sunglasses. They at least show you where the bull sharks are off the sandbar.

-Suu
Stung by stingray, brushed by a nurse shark (they're like kitties!), chased out of the water by a tiger shark at Weedon Island, caught and ate her own blacktip shark, sat on a cownose ray (don't ask), still goes in the Gulf of Mexico, but not the North Atlantic, because of the jellyfish and Portuguese Men-o-war. Fuck those things.

I've lived in Florida my whole life. Been to the beach 3 times at most. I've grown to accept that the beach is just something for me to daydream of.
He doesn't like the idea of swimming with any fish around. Doesn't matter if that fish is a shark, ray or minnow.
And of course he's defective, he married me

Leave him at home. I'll call my sister in for the rescue. You're running out of time...THEY are coming.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Mad scientist costume-
Lab coat acquired
Erlenmeyer flask ordered
test tubes ordered
calculator acquired in high school
hair buzzer at ready
Work ID scanned and ready for improving
Google calendar set to text me about how: IRB has rejected my proposal; government shut down has delayed my grant renewal; travel plans to scientific conference have been rescheduled; new law passed to say intended research unethical.
Clipboard

Am I forgetting anything?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Oh, and Villager dressed as genetic experiment gone wrong (her idea not mine. She wanted to match me.)

[Suu]

He's packing the car.

I'm a mess right now.

Fuck this.

[Cain]

-

[Suu]

And he's gone. Last thing he carried out of the house was his SCA kite shield so be could go to practices near the new base. So, aptly, I told him, "Come back with your shield, or on it."

The idea that 150 other women and families are dealing with this right now kinda helps, but it sure as hell sucks. So now I'm on my way to class with swollen eyes and controlling sobs. C'est la vie.  Go Navy.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

And he's gone. Last thing he carried out of the house was his SCA kite shield so be could go to practices near the new base. So, aptly, I told him, "Come back with your shield, or on it."

The idea that 150 other women and families are dealing with this right now kinda helps, but it sure as hell sucks. So now I'm on my way to class with swollen eyes and controlling sobs. C'est la vie.  Go Navy.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Suu hugs

[LMNO]

  Suu.

[Suu]

On the bright side, he's not that far away, just far enough to be annoying. Which I think is worse than a deployment, because it's a fucking tease. He will be home on weekends he doesn't have section duty, but I can't stay in the barracks with him so I can't really go up there. A fucking tease.

[Cain]

-

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

On the bright side, he's not that far away, just far enough to be annoying. Which I think is worse than a deployment, because it's a fucking tease. He will be home on weekends he doesn't have section duty, but I can't stay in the barracks with him so I can't really go up there. A fucking tease.

How long will he be there?