Church of the New Apostate

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they aren't paranoid, too.  Is it not written: The entire world operates on ancient butthurt and paranoia?  Watch thy back, trust nobody, sleep with one eye open."
- The Tucson Codex 5:32

[Richter]

The wages of sin are pretty damn awesome.  The hangover and fallout of sin suck ass.  Watch out for that.
-What we learned by getting Murphy Drunk, chapter 6, line 4

Rage is like fucking a lion.  Don't be shocked when everyone else lion-fucks back at you.  Get ready to sort out a room of VERY pissed off cats too.  Is there a point?  Yes - Make sure you've got a suitable lion and a proper audience so you don't have to flee the country or get a lawyer.
-What we Learned by Getting Murphy drunk, chapter 2, line 22

[Richter]

"When the State puts so much time and effort into looking out for criminals, it'd be a terrible waste not to give them what they want. The same goes for churches looking for sinners, and beggars looking for spare change."

If special Agent Bravo's job is to find some criminals, he KNOWS his next paycheck doesn't hinge on saying "The people obeyed the law".  Hell, Torquemada figured out this shit. 

Will there always be lawbreakers?  Sure.  Does there need to be enforcement?  At some level, concievably, yes.  Can people in jobs get wires crossed and go from mindful to dogmatic?  All the damn time.

[Richter]

The degredation of Science is an unforgivable sin.

That is, if "sin" exists.

"Sin is the state in which a person exists, if he/she takes extra time out of his/her day to dump on the undeserving in some fashion.  To claim that sin doesn't exist is to say that the strong commit no wrong when they victimize the weak."
- Ars Richteria, 3:22

"Your sins, like your sacraments, will not be your neighbor's.  Knocking your neighbor's wife up isn't a loophole in this slappy.  Everybody fucks up, but puttign energy into it willingly is jsut WRONG."
- Ars Richteria, post it note that fell out when the cat knocked it over.

[Richter]

"Speed limits are for the unworthy, blunt objects for the unclean.  Dance floors are for the Devine."
- The Book of Fabulous 10:17

(see wut I did thar?)

"Those color changing dance floors?  NEVER slam dance on them.  They break.  Just sayin'"
- What we learned by gettign Muprhy Drunk, chapter 8, line 2

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"One day, Richter was walking through The City of Hills, when he came upon a monk.  The monk accosted Richter, saying unto him "All of reality is illusion".  So Richter hit him with a bar stool.

The next day, Richter was again walking, and was accosted by an anarchist, saying unto Richter, "All property is theft".  Richter then stole his wallet.

If Richter meets a man with no shoes, he shall take them from him.  If he meets a man who has shoes, he shall give them to him. 

I felt bad because I had no shoes, so Richter cut my feet off.  I felt bad because I had no feet, so Richter ran me over with his car.

It can always get worse."

Ars Richteria 2:19-21

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"One day, Richter was walking through The City of Hills, when he came upon a monk.  The monk accosted Richter, saying unto him "All of reality is illusion".  So Richter hit him with a bar stool.

The next day, Richter was again walking, and was accosted by an anarchist, saying unto Richter, "All property is theft".  Richter then stole his wallet.

If Richter meets a man with no shoes, he shall take them from him.  If he meets a man who has shoes, he shall give them to him. 

I felt bad because I had no shoes, so Richter cut my feet off.  I felt bad because I had no feet, so Richter ran me over with his car.

It can always get worse."

Ars Richteria 2:19-21

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

"One day, Richter was walking through The City of Hills, when he came upon a monk.  The monk accosted Richter, saying unto him "All of reality is illusion".  So Richter hit him with a bar stool.

The next day, Richter was again walking, and was accosted by an anarchist, saying unto Richter, "All property is theft".  Richter then stole his wallet.

If Richter meets a man with no shoes, he shall take them from him.  If he meets a man who has shoes, he shall give them to him. 

I felt bad because I had no shoes, so Richter cut my feet off.  I felt bad because I had no feet, so Richter ran me over with his car.

It can always get worse."

Ars Richteria 2:19-21

Can I throw this in the margins on Holy Nonsense? I'm stripping out the questionable use stuff and I have soooooooo many gaps.

ALSO THIS IS AMAZING.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"One day, Richter was walking through The City of Hills, when he came upon a monk.  The monk accosted Richter, saying unto him "All of reality is illusion".  So Richter hit him with a bar stool.

The next day, Richter was again walking, and was accosted by an anarchist, saying unto Richter, "All property is theft".  Richter then stole his wallet.

If Richter meets a man with no shoes, he shall take them from him.  If he meets a man who has shoes, he shall give them to him. 

I felt bad because I had no shoes, so Richter cut my feet off.  I felt bad because I had no feet, so Richter ran me over with his car.

It can always get worse."

Ars Richteria 2:19-21

Can I throw this in the margins on Holy Nonsense? I'm stripping out the questionable use stuff and I have soooooooo many gaps.

ALSO THIS IS AMAZING.

If Richter has no problem with it, I have no problem with it.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I lied, it's taking up a whole page:



(pending approval for publishing, of course)

[Richter]

 

A prospective disciple came before Richter.

"If you have no sword, go out and sell your pants to buy one.  Then come back here and give it to me."  the disciple was told.

The disciple came back pantless and armed, presenting the sword to Richter.

Richter looked at him dubiously, and counted to three as an act of pointless optimism.  He then took the sword and stabbed the disciple in the balls.

"I trust I've made my point"  he said to the other petiioners of his free time.

Their groans were the exact sound of enlightenment.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

RICHTER, CAN I USE THE THING?

[Richter]

OH YEAH. 

[LMNO]

I'm amazed a sword can cost as much as a pair of pants.

[Richter]

You get get a sword for the cost of a meal.  You can get a pair of pants for the same.  If you care about what you're doing in either, you spent more.

Ars Richtera - footnotes