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I liked how they introduced her, like "her mother died in an insane asylum thinking she was Queen Victoria" and my thought was, I like where I think this is going. I was not disappointed.

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The Princess' New Clothes. (WARNING NSFW)

Started by Demolition Squid, October 04, 2013, 12:14:05 AM

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Demolition Squid

October 04, 2013, 12:14:05 AM
Its that time again, so drink up your cocoa, get all tucked in warm and tight, and DemoSquid will tell you the story of the Princess' New Clothes. Which may be considered Not Entirely Safe For Work because hot damn they were some clothes, y'all.

Once upon a time, there was a pretty Princess. The prettiest Princess in all the land. So pretty, she ran for four seasons with 98 episodes, two movies, and had 6.2 million viewers. Survey says, "That's pretty!"



But all was not well in the land. The King's Jester, Curly, had gone missing years before the Princess was even born, and no matter how hard she tried, the Princess couldn't put a smile on their faces the same way he could.



The Princess decided she was going to help. But how?



Not being a dumb Princess, she studied and studied and studied, and finally, she thought she found her answer. She'd throw a huge show, and remind them what Curly always said.



The night of the big party came, and everyone was there. The Princess made sure she was dressed just right, and got out on stage.



The King was shocked.



The people were stunned.



And yet, none of them were laughing! The Princess wasn't disappointed, though. She knew she just had to dance harder.



And HARDER.



AND TAKE IT TOTALLY TO THE WALL.



If the people were shocked before, now there were riots in the stands. The dance hall was full of blood, someone set fire to the roof, and the King was forced to call out his Royal Drones to restore the proper levels of Peace™.



The Princess, though, didn't care at all. She skipped off the stage with her hammer to uh, wash her hair.



The People talked about her for days and days.



"Does she KNOW what she was wearing?" They wondered aloud, "Does she KNOW what we're saying about her? Just look at her over there, SMILING!"



But of course, the Princess did know, she just didn't care. Only Emperors are allowed to parade around in whatever they liked, but she knew Curly never had any truck with that.



And so, she wasn't going to let it bother her, either. But as the days wore on, the unrest grew even greater. People were even saying that the Princess was being UNAMERICAN, and we can't have that in our monarchy, now can we?



No, we can't. So, with a heavy heart, the Princess set out on the road to find Curly for herself. After all, if anyone could settle the kingdom down, it'd be him. But she'd barely set foot on the road when she met a strange man.



"Why do you look so upset?" He asked, "You're walking AWAY from the stupid! Breadstick?"



The Princess lit up her breadstick, and as she exhaled, she realized. "Hey. You're right. And I've got this bag stuffed full of gold, too. Screw those guys! Lets go find Curly, I bet he'd get a chuckle out of this."



So they walked off into the sunset, and the Kingdom burned happily ever after.



The End.
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho

Salty

#1
October 04, 2013, 12:18:31 AM
Where are those super huge mittens?

:superhugemittens:
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Don Coyote

#2
October 04, 2013, 12:19:14 AM
The fucking fuck.

Quote from: Alty on October 04, 2013, 12:18:31 AM
Where are those super huge mittens?

:superhugemittens:

Demolition Squid

#3
October 04, 2013, 12:25:09 AM
 :thanks:
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho

Anna Mae Bollocks

#4
October 04, 2013, 01:16:56 AM
Google images couldn't turn up the kind of bigass blinged-out mittens I was looking for.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Q. G. Pennyworth

#5
October 04, 2013, 01:25:34 AM
I wish tiger's blood wasn't already out of fashion. That's really the only level of praise I can give this.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#6
October 04, 2013, 05:43:04 AM
I love this, this is amazing!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Salty

#7
October 04, 2013, 05:44:56 AM
I wish this was a PDF or some other injectable format I could force feed into people's brains.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#8
October 04, 2013, 06:01:05 AM
Quote from: Alty on October 04, 2013, 05:44:56 AM
I wish this was a PDF or some other injectable format I could force feed into people's brains.

THIS CAN BE DONE!

But not right now, it's fkn sleep time.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#9
October 04, 2013, 06:38:35 AM
Thank you, that totally needs to happen.  :)
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Demolition Squid

#10
October 04, 2013, 08:28:10 AM Last Edit: October 04, 2013, 11:07:11 AM by Demolition Squid
Getting it all pretty like in PDF is totally beyond me...

But because I learned from the last one, I saved all the images myself this time, and put it in a word document! I figure this'll make it easier for people to mess around with if they wanna PDF it up, so, here you go! http://www.sendspace.com/file/84nomy

Glad you guys liked it!  :lulz:

Edit: Broken link, should be fixed.
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho

Reginald Ret

#11
October 04, 2013, 09:10:36 AM
This is the sort of thing that makes me proud to be part of this community.
I have philosophical issues with pride in something I personally added nothing to.
Couldn't you have made a spelling error or something else for me to correct?  :argh!:
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
October 04, 2013, 02:38:44 PM
Bravo!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#13
October 04, 2013, 02:40:49 PM
Demo Squid: any thoughts on how the pdf should look?

Demolition Squid

#14
October 04, 2013, 02:42:14 PM
Not really! I love your stuff, I'm sure you'll knock it out the park.

I tried just exporting the .docx into pdf and I know enough to know that isn't a good look, though.  :lulz:
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho
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