First Church of Tuesday Night (Reform)

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Commandments:

1. Thou Shall Make Good Food.

2. Thou Shall Honor Thy Kitchen and Thy Cutting Boards.

3. Thou Shall Not Give Everyone Food Poisoning.

4. Thou Shall Give The People Many Options, For They Are Picky Bastards.

5. Thou Shall Not Cook The Same Dish Every Time.

6. Thou Shall Not Hassle The Cook.

7. Thou Shall Make Sure There's Booze.

8. Thou Shall Not Be A Dick.

9. Thou Shall Not Do That Which Will Get The Cops Called.

10. If This Is Your Second Tuesday, You Have to Cook.*


* The First Church of Tuesday Night, Reform schismed from the Holy Sanctified Church of Tuesday Night when they declared that the tenth commandment is more of a polite suggestion and perhaps doesn't need to be taken literally. Some Tuesday Night Reformists replace this commandment with "Thou Shall Take Your Turn Cooking, Or At Least Bring A Dessert Or Something."