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I hope she gets diverticulitis and all her poop kills her.

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It's that time of year again...

Started by AFK, October 16, 2013, 03:19:25 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

Well, could we at least not correlate her with Nirvana?

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 18, 2013, 09:37:32 PM
Well, could we at least not correlate her with Nirvana?

She deserves many, many bad things.

But, yeah, that ain't one of 'em.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

It's just an example, but the point is that Nirvana was more the province of the alt-rock crowd. All the kids in school who already knew about them because they had Bleach were the weird kids with dirty fingernails and black hoodies with too-long sleeves with thumbholes cut in them and the only girl in 9th grade who had an eyebrow ring.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

LMNO


Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

I thought Nirvana and Pearl Jam were the same thing for a long time. As soon as the whining screeching started, I changed the station. Couldn't stand their voices.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Count Chocula

Quote from: Not Your Average Mean on October 16, 2013, 06:57:34 PM
And of course Nirvana will get in.  Would you deny Michael Jordan entry to the NBA Hall of Fame?



Eater of Clowns

I think we need to recognize Nirvana's huge cultural impact, specifically for influencing this man:




Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Aucoq

"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

AFK

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on October 18, 2013, 10:09:34 PM
I thought Nirvana and Pearl Jam were the same thing for a long time. As soon as the whining screeching started, I changed the station. Couldn't stand their voices.

They don't sound even remotely similar. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

AFK

Quote from: Jet City Hustle on October 18, 2013, 09:28:18 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 18, 2013, 04:27:46 PM
Quote from: Not Your Average Mean on October 18, 2013, 04:05:20 PM
Nirvana were huge when Cobain killed himself.  What sealed the deal was the fact that they engaged so many through their music.  One of the things Kurt struggled with was the fact that they were drawing not just the weirdos into left-of-center music.  They were drawing the jocks, the preppies, the rich kids, the middle class kids, the poor kids, boys and girls, the smart kids, everyone.  "Come As You Are".

It wasn't just going to be any band.  Yes, there was a generation of kids waiting for a band or music movement to come along that would speak to them and include them.  Hair metal wasn't doing it, the pop mainstream of the day wasn't doing it.  Nirvana rumbled in with "Teen Spirit" and youth culture responded with a "Fuck Yes". 

Pearl Jam couldn't have done that, Soundgarden couldn't, AIC couldn't. Nirvana was the only band set up to do that.  And there hasn't been a band that has done that since.

Period.

You and I are close to the same age... what sort of high school did you go to?  At my school Nirvana was certainly very popular (to my dismay) but equally so, at that time, was Pearl Jam and a plethora of other "alternative" bands I loathed.  You know what else was extremely popular with the youth?  Probably more so?  Hip fucking hop.  The 90s were not the niche market you seem to recall.

Nevermind broke during my freshman year. Most of the kids were listening to shitty hip-hop (Vanilla Ice was HUGE) and the kids who were actually into the local rock scene were mostly into Mudhoney, Sweaty Nipples, Rhino Humpers, and Gruntruck. Nirvana was for the weird kids who watched 120 Minutes and liked Siouxsie and the Banshees.

Yes, initially, when you could only see their videos on 120 Minutes and Headbanger's Ball.  But then they broke it open, and then everyone was into them.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Quote from: Not Your Average Mean on October 19, 2013, 01:38:59 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on October 18, 2013, 10:09:34 PM
I thought Nirvana and Pearl Jam were the same thing for a long time. As soon as the whining screeching started, I changed the station. Couldn't stand their voices.

They don't sound even remotely similar.

It all sounded like garbage at the time. Sorry.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 18, 2013, 11:30:46 PM
I think we need to recognize Nirvana's huge cultural impact, specifically for influencing this man:






That's the cultural impact of RWHN's ass.

The guy in the picture is a wannabe. He's TRYING, but he can't do THIS:

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 18, 2013, 05:40:35 PM
RWHN is very tight with his opinion.  It makes him tight in the ass.  I imagine he spends much of his time in the men's room, trying to take a shit, moaning and groaning.  All that he ever produces, I'm guessing, are pathetic little high-pitched farts.  Every time one of his co-workers goes to take a piss he's in a stall..."ARGH!", "Pahleeeze!", "Oh for the love of GAAAAAAAAAWD!"

It's the same everywhere in America.  The asses are so tight that they squeak.  Everyone has big thick cushions on their chairs to ease the pain.  They walk with short choppy steps, buttocks tense.  It's comical once you notice it.  After you notice it you can't ignore it and keep a straight face.  It's like being in one of those old time movies, a Charlie Chaplin movie.

RWHN-nation (pun incidental & unavoidable, so shut up).  A nation of people obsessed with what other people do or like, who insist that their opinion is so superior to yours that they will bludgeon you with it until you give up in disgust.  Who can't take a proper shit to save their lives, because the stress of being the Smartest Guy in the Room has given them terminal buttlock.

Friends, has your asshole shrunk down?  Does eating vegetables make you sound like a referee's whistle?  Can your farts lance a hole in your jeans, on account of them being one fart-molecule thick?  Have you screamed your pain at an unused roll of toilet paper and an uncaring universe?

Sounds like YOU need to relax.  Take some Slack™, the laxative of the Gods.  SHIT THAT HATE, OR YOU WILL DIE.  Leave being terminally right to people who obsess over that sort of thing (RWHN, for example...It's long past being too late for HIS bunghole, which by now is a geometric point).

Shit your pants.  It's the only hope you have.

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 18, 2013, 05:54:59 PM
Quote from: Not Your Average Mean on October 18, 2013, 05:50:14 PM
The Pixies were a cult, college band with a very niche audience. 

At this point, the attempt to shit is making a "phweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" noise.  If RWHN had a colostomy bag, it would pop like a balloon at this point, showering him and his computer with all the horrible bound up poop that he's been compressing all these years.

It's possible that the separation of mass would fling him out of his cubicle, like an Atlas rocket full of shit, a mobile fire hose of scat that whipsaws back and forth, killing half of his fellow preventionists and forever scarring the rest.

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 18, 2013, 06:18:58 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on October 18, 2013, 06:14:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 18, 2013, 05:54:59 PM
Quote from: Not Your Average Mean on October 18, 2013, 05:50:14 PM
The Pixies were a cult, college band with a very niche audience. 

At this point, the attempt to shit is making a "phweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" noise.  If RWHN had a colostomy bag, it would pop like a balloon at this point, showering him and his computer with all the horrible bound up poop that he's been compressing all these years.

It's possible that the separation of mass would fling him out of his cubicle, like an Atlas rocket full of shit, a mobile fire hose of scat that whipsaws back and forth, killing half of his fellow preventionists and forever scarring the rest.

WHY DOES HE WEAR THAT HUGE SUIT? WHAT IS HE HIDING? MEGACOLON? OR THE REMNANTS OF A THOUSAND PUNCTURED COLOSTOMY BAGS?

When the bags all fill up, he looks like Luca Brasi from The Godfather, straining the suit beyond anything any clothes manufacturer could have reasonably been expected to anticipate.

What we saw was RWHN with the bags offloaded prior to testimony.  It's a reasonable precaution, he wouldn't want one of the bags to rupture on local television...And certainly not in the sheriff's office, right next to a cop.  Can you even imagine?  They'd STILL be doing the nightstick rhumba on him, down in the "special" cell in the basement.

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 18, 2013, 06:32:43 PM
Quote from: Alty on October 18, 2013, 06:26:53 PM
Is there some cure for this horrible malady?

One accessible to the average WHN, i mean.

No, for them it is too late.  The most that can be done is to KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.  At some unguessable point, he will go off like fucking Mount Krakatoa.  The shock wave will certainly reach Boston, possible even as far as parts of Florida.

In Maine, the devastation will be spectacular.  Imagine the surface of the moon, but with poop instead of regolith.  People will speculate and compare it to Taguska or the Barringer Crater, but they will all be wrong.  It will be one of those horrible anomolies that only We here at The Church will understand, and we will keep that knowledge secret for the good of society, just as we have with the Judge Crater disappearance, the assassination of JFK, and what Nixon REALLY said to Agnew that night they were drunkenly prostrating themselves in front of Abe Lincoln's portrait in the White House.

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 18, 2013, 07:01:15 PM
One significant risk is that the high frequency of the farts will create an oscillation in the ass cheeks, causing them to ripple like those guys' faces in old NASA footage of G-force testing.  Nothing good can come from this...The danger to nearby personnel is pretty obvious, and who wants THAT in their obituary?  "Killed by wildly flapping ass cheeks.  Closed casket funeral.  Please send donations in leiu of flowers, etc".

The only real hope when this happens is that he'll fart again, thus interrupting the forming wave.  Of course this has its own risks, as it may in fact cause the very rupture discussed upthread, resulting in the destruction of Maine and rendering Quebec uninhabitable for hundreds of years.  Sort of a poop-Fukishima.

:potd: x 5

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Salty


Arsch Gesicht.

Arsch Gesicht.

Arsch Gesicht.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Wow, does he seriously think that the Pixies were a "college band with a niche audience"?  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: I won't say disconnected, because that implies that he was ever connected in the first place. Wonder if he's ever even heard Joy Division or PIL?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."