Meet the Fantastically Bejeweled Skeletons of Catholicism’s Forgotten Martyrs

[Suu]

My mind...it is blown.

I would give my own damn bones to organize an exhibit of these somewhere. They are absolutely stunning and yet totally mortifying at the same time. The article says this on their origin:

On May 31, 1578, local vineyard workers discovered that a hollow along Rome's Via Salaria, a road traversing the boot of Italy, led to a catacomb. The subterranean chamber proved to be full of countless skeletal remains, presumably dating back to the first three centuries following Christianity's emergence, when thousands were persecuted for practicing the still-outlawed religion. An estimated 500,000 to 750,000 souls—mostly Christians but including some pagans and Jews—found a final resting place in the sprawling Roman catacombs.

For hundreds of skeletons, however, that resting place would prove anything but final. The Catholic Church quickly learned of the discovery and believed it was a godsend, since many of the skeletons must have belonged to early Christian martyrs. In Northern Europe—especially in Germany, where anti-Catholic sentiment was most fervent—Catholic churches had suffered from plunderers and vandals during the Protestant Revolution over the past several decades. Those churches' sacred relics had largely been lost or destroyed. The newly discovered holy remains, however, could restock the shelves and restore the morale of those parishes that had been ransacked.

The holy bodies became wildly sought-after treasures. Every Catholic church, no matter how small, wanted to have at least one, if not ten. The skeletons allowed the churches to make a "grandiose statement," Koudounaris says, and were especially prized in southern Germany, the epicenter of "the battleground against the Protestants." Wealthy families sought them for their private chapels, and guilds and fraternities would sometimes pool their resources to adopt a martyr, who would become the patron of cloth-makers, for example.

I am in AWE.

http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/2013/10/meet-the-fantastically-bejeweled-skeletons-of-catholicisms-forgotten-martyrs/

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?

[Suu]

But the best part: They aren't who they say they are. They are dead Romans who may or may not have been Christian martyrs. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?

Think of it as a 16th century Barbie Playhouse.

That right there?  That's Ken, ready for the beach!

[LMNO]

WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?

That's not just OK, that's AWESOME.

[Faust]

Those pearls that were his eyes, that diamond studded shaft that was his junk, nothing of him that doth fade.

These are amazing.

[hooplala]

WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?

....me?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wow, absolutely beautiful! People are so weird and interesting.

[Suu]

I'm ordering the book. I can't wait!

[hooplala]

I'm gonna see if I can talk someone into doing this to me when I croak.  I mean Sithrak will be eternally torturing me, at least some part of me should be having a good time.

[Richter]

I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Wow. That's amazing. All that work, from weaving the gauze to molding the wax to adding the decoration. Holy shit, man.

[Trivial]

Intern me like one of your French girls.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Intern me like one of your French girls.

I WOULD HIT IT

[Suu]

I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.

The first person I thought of when I posted this was Nigel. Because I remember her skeleton project from a few years back. And I had this vision of her delicately crafting everything out of beads she made, and just going to town on it. Glass penises included.