PI With Malice Aforethought: Queen Gogira

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Queen Gogira leads a double life.  To her husband - a mild mannered professional violinist from Prague - she is a tiny woman who does some sort of work in the publishing industry, which he neither understands nor particularly cares to understand.  It isn't music, so it isn't real.

But I'll tell you what's real.

When she goes to work, she is known to the people on the street as "Jimmy Walnuts", due to her habit of crushing said nuts in her left hand.  When she is contracted to deal with problems, strong men weep in abject terror, and Boston moves to Providence for the week. 

It is said that she was hired to enforce the terms of a meth dealing agreement between her bosses and a motorcycle gang in Warwick, RI.  She went in one end of the bar, and out the other.  When she was at the halfway point, the low growls of surprise and anger had changed, and by the time she left, the place sounded like an Abba tribute concert sung by 30 coked-up chihuahuas.

The most horrible part is that her facial expression never changes during this sort of thing.  It's still that little smile that says "I'm not really Jimmy Walnuts". 

But she is. 

The smile is a lie, a trap for the foolish.  Queen Gogira IS Jimmy Walnuts, and the Boston Common is littered with the eggs she's kicked out of female hipsters who sneered at her get up.  Never, never comment on her clothing.  There are far more painless ways of committing suicide.  Like, say, being eaten by rats.  From the feet up.

And when all the horror and flying blood droplets are done, when the police finally feel safe enough to come out of the donut shop, it's because she's home again, giving her husband a kiss on the cheek, and telling him whacking great lies about how her day went.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Love is an exquisitely crafted work of slander.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Love is an exquisitely crafted work of slander.

Well, I'm trying to keep my hand in, in a time when nobody can be arsed to read or respond to writing.  So I figure I'm just going to pick one person a day and tell the horrible truth about them.

If that doesn't keep my interest, then I'm going to find a new hobby, and put the writing thing down for a year or three.

[Demolition Squid]

I loved this but writing decent responses on my phone is as much fun as pulling teeth.

Still though.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Love is an exquisitely crafted work of slander.

Well, I'm trying to keep my hand in, in a time when nobody can be arsed to read or respond to writing.  So I figure I'm just going to pick one person a day and tell the horrible truth about them.

If that doesn't keep my interest, then I'm going to find a new hobby, and put the writing thing down for a year or three.

That would be a crime against everything. Well, mostly writing, but still.

What's up with pre-orders on LOBB?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Love is an exquisitely crafted work of slander.

Well, I'm trying to keep my hand in, in a time when nobody can be arsed to read or respond to writing.  So I figure I'm just going to pick one person a day and tell the horrible truth about them.

If that doesn't keep my interest, then I'm going to find a new hobby, and put the writing thing down for a year or three.

That would be a crime against everything. Well, mostly writing, but still.

What's up with pre-orders on LOBB?

Still picking out SPAG errors and spoonerisms, and plugging minor plot holes.  I'm at chapter 10 of the second arc, putting about 4 hours/week into it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That would be a crime against everything. Well, mostly writing, but still.

Problem is, nobody seems to be engaged by it anymore.  Not just PD, but anywhere I post anything I write.

So it's not F5, it's me.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Love is an exquisitely crafted work of slander.

Well, I'm trying to keep my hand in, in a time when nobody can be arsed to read or respond to writing.  So I figure I'm just going to pick one person a day and tell the horrible truth about them.

If that doesn't keep my interest, then I'm going to find a new hobby, and put the writing thing down for a year or three.

That would be a crime against everything. Well, mostly writing, but still.

What's up with pre-orders on LOBB?

Still picking out SPAG errors and spoonerisms, and plugging minor plot holes.  I'm at chapter 10 of the second arc, putting about 4 hours/week into it.

Well, let me know when/how I can throw money at it, I have a nine year old over here that NEEDS that book.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

No, it's F5.

I mean, who can resist THIS?

It is said that she was hired to enforce the terms of a meth dealing agreement between her bosses and a motorcycle gang in Warwick, RI.  She went in one end of the bar, and out the other.  When she was at the halfway point, the low growls of surprise and anger had changed, and by the time she left, the place sounded like an Abba tribute concert sung by 30 coked-up chihuahuas.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Hehehe. Jimmy Walnuts. Very nice. 

[Kai]

Now I don't want to ask for cookies. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Gimme Kai's share.

DOUR,
Got no brain, got no sense.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I'll take two! :P Jimmy Walnuts makes me laugh every time. Gogira, can I send you postcards just to use the name "Jimmy Walnuts" on them?

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I'll take two! :P Jimmy Walnuts makes me laugh every time. Gogira, can I send you postcards just to use the name "Jimmy Walnuts" on them?

Sure, why not get on ALL THE LISTS?

[Richter]

QG  exhibits a professionalism that would make most businessmen weep.  There is no "Off" setting - a "client" she has been contracted to visit will recieve their attention regardless of time, date, or happenings. 

Wonder at her absence at your own peril.  There is nothing short of work which will keep her from fufilling a even hinted commitment. 

Her pamphlets are a traditional method of deadly threat in Russia