American Intervention

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Thank you for coming America, please take a seat.

What is this?

Please just take a seat, all of your friends are here and they just want to talk with you.

[America sits]

Canada, why don't you go first?

America, when you suffered a terrorist attack in 2001, you made the decision to require all Canadians to present passports to enter your country. We once shared the largest open border in the world, and we were peaceful neighbours for almost 200 years. I know that you were hurt, but your actions have hurt our relationship. In addition to the border, your addiction to punishment had been a negative influence on many of our politicians. We have all gathered here today to ask you to seek treatment for this addition, for your sake and for the sake of our relationship with you.

Treatment? Canada, what are you talking about?

We just want you to get better, America.

Afghanistan, why don't you go next?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The Phillipines would like to speak up.

WTF?  WTF???

[East Coast Hustle]

Guatemala got dragged along by Nicaragua but it's too mad to say anything. It just stares silently and mutters under its breath.

[Pæs]

Will New Zealand please speak up?

"Aw, mate. We think you're doing a bang up job of, just, well, everything really."

Oh, FFS. Who invited New Zealand?

[Buckaroo Banzai]

Germany, I believe you wanted to say something?

"Ja, look, I know it zeems bahd, but you kan change! Jhust look aht me! I used to be zo much vorse zhen you, und now I'm completely zane"

[East Coast Hustle]

There's really no need for that kind of language, Greece. Anyway, this is about America, remember?