'Butthurt' and being offended

[Pæs]

Holist would actually be interesting to engage with were it not for his totally irredeemable personality. Shame, that.

[East Coast Hustle]

If you can't figure out butthurt from that, no amount of explanation is going to help you.

I can figure it out from that. Being butthurt is being unreasonably offended, right? My question is who decides when being offended is unreasonable. Is it just more or less arbitrary social norms and taboo, or does it have some sort of rational basis?

Being offended could very well always be reasonable.

It's expecting anyone else to give a shit that's never reasonable. Sometimes other people do give a shit, and that should be considered a bonus but it should NEVER be expected.

[Dildo Argentino]

Holist would actually be interesting to engage with were it not for his totally irredeemable personality. Shame, that.

Top of the morning to you and all, too!

[Dildo Argentino]

If you can't figure out butthurt from that, no amount of explanation is going to help you.

I can figure it out from that. Being butthurt is being unreasonably offended, right? My question is who decides when being offended is unreasonable. Is it just more or less arbitrary social norms and taboo, or does it have some sort of rational basis?

Being offended could very well always be reasonable.

It's expecting anyone else to give a shit that's never reasonable. Sometimes other people do give a shit, and that should be considered a bonus but it should NEVER be expected.

Are you sure about that?

On the one hand: taking offence is often completely unreasonable. Initially, I thought that was the fact behind 'butthurt', as a technical term used on PD. People take offence left right and centre in a completely ridiculous manner and it is boring and tiresome.

On the other hand: if you said: "It's expecting everyone else to give a shit all the time that's not reasonable.", I'd be nodding with a happy smile. As it is (given that emotions are basically signalling tools for rough and ready social adjustment), I'm not sure I agree. I guess the people I expect to give a shit about me being offended (or upset, or angry, or sad, or, indeed, happy, or excited, or playful) are the people I call my friends. If a friend doesn't give a shit about my emotional state (and this recurs a few times, everyone can be severely preoccupied every now and then, and that's fine), I begin to think about the possibility of my being mistaken about that friendship.

[Faust]

People take offence left right and centre in a completely ridiculous manner and it is boring and tiresome.

Past tense. We've had what junkies call a moment of clarity, we've realised we do this and are now watching for when it happens to try roll it back.

It's good to try and understand why we do the things we do, but I feel that threads like this might only exacerbate the symptom that we are finally getting a grip on.

[Dildo Argentino]

People take offence left right and centre in a completely ridiculous manner and it is boring and tiresome.

Past tense. We've had what junkies call a moment of clarity, we've realised we do this and are now watching for when it happens to try roll it back.

It's good to try and understand why we do the things we do, but I feel that threads like this might only exacerbate the symptom that we are finally getting a grip on.

Sorry, I think you misunderstood. I wasn't talking about PD there, but about humans in general. As for the tone of PD changing somewhat recently, I agree. And Paes is a lovely chap

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A good example of "butthurt" would be in starting a thread asking the difference between "butthurt" and "being offended", so that you can try to score "points" off of any perceived contradictions that may be stated in said explanation.

In short, you're pretty fucking transparent.

But since I am a Holy Man™, I'll explain it anyway.  Oh, wait, I just did.

I don't mind being transparent, it is actually an honest question. You gave an example... an imaginary one, because I didn't start this topic to score points at all. But to be even more transparent, what struck me was that while, if I understand your views correctly, 'authenticity' in art is a fake concept and is simply used by the insecure to beef up personal taste, butthurt is an objective phenomenon - I wondered how that can work.

See what I mean? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

I suspect that there are two processes at war in Holist. One is a desire to be a better primate, and the other is a fear of being intellectually vulnerable; ie. wrong. Unfortunately, these two processes act in opposition to each other. However, I am trying to encourage the part that would like to be a better primate by responding to his sincere interactions and ignoring the ones that are overly colored by the fear.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

I suspect that there are two processes at war in Holist. One is a desire to be a better primate, and the other is a fear of being intellectually vulnerable; ie. wrong. Unfortunately, these two processes act in opposition to each other. However, I am trying to encourage the part that would like to be a better primate by responding to his sincere interactions and ignoring the ones that are overly colored by the fear.

That's basically all of America in a nutshell.  So I'm not holding my breath.

I never could understand that shit.  I'm WRONG pretty much ALL THE TIME.  I drop my pants and ROLL in my mistakes.  And it hasn't killed me, lost me any friends, or caused my family to feel ashamed.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

I suspect that there are two processes at war in Holist. One is a desire to be a better primate, and the other is a fear of being intellectually vulnerable; ie. wrong. Unfortunately, these two processes act in opposition to each other. However, I am trying to encourage the part that would like to be a better primate by responding to his sincere interactions and ignoring the ones that are overly colored by the fear.

That's basically all of America in a nutshell.  So I'm not holding my breath.

I never could understand that shit.  I'm WRONG pretty much ALL THE TIME.  I drop my pants and ROLL in my mistakes.  And it hasn't killed me, lost me any friends, or caused my family to feel ashamed.

Being wrong is an important part of the process IMO, and the more readily we can recognize and admit to being wrong, the more painless becoming a better ape is.

Still hurts though. Most of the time. And the bigger the change, the more it hurts.

[Dildo Argentino]

You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

I suspect that there are two processes at war in Holist. One is a desire to be a better primate, and the other is a fear of being intellectually vulnerable; ie. wrong. Unfortunately, these two processes act in opposition to each other. However, I am trying to encourage the part that would like to be a better primate by responding to his sincere interactions and ignoring the ones that are overly colored by the fear.

That's very kind of you. Proud bastard that I am, as I was about to fly off at the handle there, I somehow managed to sit back and read it a few more times instead. You may be right.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

I suspect that there are two processes at war in Holist. One is a desire to be a better primate, and the other is a fear of being intellectually vulnerable; ie. wrong. Unfortunately, these two processes act in opposition to each other. However, I am trying to encourage the part that would like to be a better primate by responding to his sincere interactions and ignoring the ones that are overly colored by the fear.

That's very kind of you. Proud bastard that I am, as I was about to fly off at the handle there, I somehow managed to sit back and read it a few more times instead. You may be right.

Hey! Rock on! 

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

Several good points on the topic of butts and the hurting thereof:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-everyone-gets-wrong-about-being-offended/

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Several good points on the topic of butts and the hurting thereof:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-everyone-gets-wrong-about-being-offended/

Sometimes Cracked misses the mark. This time, though, they hit a bullseye.

Butthurt is for everyone.