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'Butthurt' and being offended

Started by Dildo Argentino, November 03, 2013, 01:18:32 PM

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Dildo Argentino

Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 04, 2013, 10:49:24 PM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on November 04, 2013, 10:32:49 PM
Several good points on the topic of butts and the hurting thereof:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-everyone-gets-wrong-about-being-offended/

Sometimes Cracked misses the mark. This time, though, they hit a bullseye.

Butthurt is for everyone.

Nos. 1 to 4, yes, all valid and valuable points. No. 5 - given that a large proportion of instances of butthurt spring from misunderstandings, and misunderstandings can be cleared up: not so much. It is my personal experience, and I am very thankful to Eris for this state of affairs, that when the offence was generated by misunderstanding, it is possible to talk people out of being offended. Also, when offense is given unintentionally (though there is no misunderstanding), apologies can do wonders.
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Ben Shapiro

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 04, 2013, 05:33:45 PM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 04, 2013, 05:26:31 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 04, 2013, 01:47:51 PM
You guys are arguing with holist.  Holist is here to show you all how enflamed his butt is, on a permenent basis.

You know this.

I suspect that there are two processes at war in Holist. One is a desire to be a better primate, and the other is a fear of being intellectually vulnerable; ie. wrong. Unfortunately, these two processes act in opposition to each other. However, I am trying to encourage the part that would like to be a better primate by responding to his sincere interactions and ignoring the ones that are overly colored by the fear.

That's basically all of America in a nutshell.  So I'm not holding my breath.

I never could understand that shit.  I'm WRONG pretty much ALL THE TIME.  I drop my pants and ROLL in my mistakes.  And it hasn't killed me, lost me any friends, or caused my family to feel ashamed.

Ding ding ding. I'm still having sex with my wife even when I'm wrong. This whole alpha male shit needs to go.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: holist on November 05, 2013, 04:46:55 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 04, 2013, 10:49:24 PM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on November 04, 2013, 10:32:49 PM
Several good points on the topic of butts and the hurting thereof:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-everyone-gets-wrong-about-being-offended/

Sometimes Cracked misses the mark. This time, though, they hit a bullseye.

Butthurt is for everyone.

Nos. 1 to 4, yes, all valid and valuable points. No. 5 - given that a large proportion of instances of butthurt spring from misunderstandings, and misunderstandings can be cleared up: not so much. It is my personal experience, and I am very thankful to Eris for this state of affairs, that when the offence was generated by misunderstanding, it is possible to talk people out of being offended. Also, when offense is given unintentionally (though there is no misunderstanding), apologies can do wonders.


Mayyyyyyybe so. But more often than not, trying to rationalize away someone's offense just results in them not liking you very much. Not so sure about "misunderstandings". If they misunderstood, the offense is still real, and you can simply explain that you did not mean what they thought you meant. That isn't talking them out of being offended at what they thought you were saying, it's resolving that you weren't actually saying that.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


P3nT4gR4m

Being offended is one thing. Butthurt (I think) is what happens when I fail to take ownership of MY delicate fee fees and insist on everyone else joining my crusade and feeling righteously indignant with me.

"If you're not part of the solution..."

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

In my mind's eye, butthurt is the emotional reaction wherein you either slink off to sulk, or flail around looking for someone to slap. Offense can generate butthurt, but doesn't necessarily have to; it's simply the state of feeling some sort of attack to your sensibilities. Example: Dawkins had every right to be offended that the TSA took away his honey, but his Twitter reaction came across as a fit of butthurt.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 10:55:34 AM
In my mind's eye, butthurt is the emotional reaction wherein you either slink off to sulk, or flail around looking for someone to slap. Offense can generate butthurt, but doesn't necessarily have to; it's simply the state of feeling some sort of attack to your sensibilities. Example: Dawkins had every right to be offended that the TSA took away his honey, but his Twitter reaction came across as a fit of butthurt.

You know that thing where someone says something so right that it clears away any differences of opinion with its Holy Truth? This sentence.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 05, 2013, 11:00:40 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 10:55:34 AM
In my mind's eye, butthurt is the emotional reaction wherein you either slink off to sulk, or flail around looking for someone to slap. Offense can generate butthurt, but doesn't necessarily have to; it's simply the state of feeling some sort of attack to your sensibilities. Example: Dawkins had every right to be offended that the TSA took away his honey, but his Twitter reaction came across as a fit of butthurt.

You know that thing where someone says something so right that it clears away any differences of opinion with its Holy Truth? This sentence.

:thanks:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Dildo Argentino

Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 10:43:59 AM
Quote from: holist on November 05, 2013, 04:46:55 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 04, 2013, 10:49:24 PM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on November 04, 2013, 10:32:49 PM
Several good points on the topic of butts and the hurting thereof:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-everyone-gets-wrong-about-being-offended/

Sometimes Cracked misses the mark. This time, though, they hit a bullseye.

Butthurt is for everyone.

Nos. 1 to 4, yes, all valid and valuable points. No. 5 - given that a large proportion of instances of butthurt spring from misunderstandings, and misunderstandings can be cleared up: not so much. It is my personal experience, and I am very thankful to Eris for this state of affairs, that when the offence was generated by misunderstanding, it is possible to talk people out of being offended. Also, when offense is given unintentionally (though there is no misunderstanding), apologies can do wonders.


Mayyyyyyybe so. But more often than not, trying to rationalize away someone's offense just results in them not liking you very much. Not so sure about "misunderstandings". If they misunderstood, the offense is still real, and you can simply explain that you did not mean what they thought you meant. That isn't talking them out of being offended at what they thought you were saying, it's resolving that you weren't actually saying that.

Okay, if you want to put it like that, I'm fine with that. The offense, as a kind of organismic reaction is certainly real, but an honest explanation and the recognition that it was actually unwarranted and based on a misunderstanding, in my experience, actually goes a long way towards both stopping the feeling of being offended in the particular case and avoiding long-term enmity.
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Dildo Argentino

Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 10:55:34 AM
In my mind's eye, butthurt is the emotional reaction wherein you either slink off to sulk, or flail around looking for someone to slap. Offense can generate butthurt, but doesn't necessarily have to; it's simply the state of feeling some sort of attack to your sensibilities. Example: Dawkins had every right to be offended that the TSA took away his honey, but his Twitter reaction came across as a fit of butthurt.

That's highly edifying, thank you.
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 11:02:16 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 05, 2013, 11:00:40 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 10:55:34 AM
In my mind's eye, butthurt is the emotional reaction wherein you either slink off to sulk, or flail around looking for someone to slap. Offense can generate butthurt, but doesn't necessarily have to; it's simply the state of feeling some sort of attack to your sensibilities. Example: Dawkins had every right to be offended that the TSA took away his honey, but his Twitter reaction came across as a fit of butthurt.

You know that thing where someone says something so right that it clears away any differences of opinion with its Holy Truth? This sentence.

:thanks:

Shouldn't you be asleeps? It's ass O'clock east coast time.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 05, 2013, 11:28:52 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 11:02:16 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 05, 2013, 11:00:40 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on November 05, 2013, 10:55:34 AM
In my mind's eye, butthurt is the emotional reaction wherein you either slink off to sulk, or flail around looking for someone to slap. Offense can generate butthurt, but doesn't necessarily have to; it's simply the state of feeling some sort of attack to your sensibilities. Example: Dawkins had every right to be offended that the TSA took away his honey, but his Twitter reaction came across as a fit of butthurt.

You know that thing where someone says something so right that it clears away any differences of opinion with its Holy Truth? This sentence.

:thanks:

Shouldn't you be asleeps? It's ass O'clock east coast time.

I should have; see Open Bar for tale of rage and woe.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Anna Mae Bollocks

I think of being offended as being repulsed, in a sense. If somebody comes over and tells racist jokes, or wipes their ass with your washcloth or whatever, and you tell them to GTFO and don't come back, that's being offended. There's a principle behind it, i.e., "Racism should never be tolerated", or "People need to respect me enough not to put their nasty septic shit on my things".

Being butthurt is more like going off because somebody poked your ego: "Wahhhhh, he refuted me on the internet!" "Wahhhhh, he's talking to her and not me!" "Wahhhhh, the TSA took my jar of honey!"
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

P3nT4gR4m

The other thing about being offended is that it indicates a failure of self control on the part of the one who's being offended. "Taking offence" the saying goes.

How about pulling up your big boy pants, getting the fuck over it and "leaving offence"?

I'm not saying don't tell the offensive person they're being a fuckhead but that's a beatdown that's always best served cold

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 05, 2013, 06:10:20 PM
The other thing about being offended is that it indicates a failure of self control on the part of the one who's being offended. "Taking offence" the saying goes.

How about pulling up your big boy pants, getting the fuck over it and "leaving offence"?

I'm not saying don't tell the offensive person they're being a fuckhead but that's a beatdown that's always best served cold

I am of the opposite opinion.  When you get pissed, GET PISSED.  Then get over it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

It's a matter of perspective, I guess. I tend not to lose my shit when I'm in an actual life or death situation, would seem silly to lose it cos someone said something dumb. If I do lose my shit then it's more likely to result in violence. Yelling and bawling is a kind of middle step that I've never had much to do with. Best just to proceed directly to the broken bones resolution. Even then, it's been at least 20 years since someone offended me all the way to intensive care.

I'm reminded of the reason I don't use the c-word much (if at all) on here anymore. Given that it's practically punctuation IRL. I remember a lot of people taking offence and getting all righteous and preachy on my ass and I was happy to wave all the middle fingers I had at my disposal and carry on regardless. Then Nigel mentioned that she didn't like it and told me why and so I did it out of respect for her. Because she didn't lose her shit, just calmly stated her position. That's the thing with me, you want me to do something and you have my respect, I'll walk through fire for ya. Getting all ranty and indignant and screeching and hollering? That's more funny to me. And I wont let a good joke die, if I can help it.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark