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PI with Malice Aforethought: Demolition Squid & P3NT

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 13, 2013, 04:15:12 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

November 13, 2013, 04:15:12 PM
The screech of tires was drowned out by several shotgun blasts, as the battered Chevy Nova jumped the curb and went rocketing down the sidewalk in Soho.  Upwardly-mobile shoppers became a little more upwardly mobile, rolling off the windscreen and back onto the concrete.

Demosquid snickered as he began thumbing more shells into the magazine.  He looked over at P3NT and said "How are we for time?"

"heeeeeeee."

"Well, then, you'd best speed up, hadn't you?"

P3NT just laughed and gunned the engine.  Another police car fell in behind them.

"Will they ever learn?", Demosquid asked, rhetorically, and leaned back out the window.  BOOM.  BOOM.  The police car slid to a stop with two holes in the driver's side of the windscreen.

80 KPH.  90.  120.  The storefronts were a blur.  Ahead of them, terrified pedestrians bolted like rabbits.  Demosquid considered shooting a few, as a lesson to the others, but discarded the notion...He didn't have an unlimited supply of shells, but there was apparently an unlimited supply of police.  Speaking of the filth, two more police cars were in the rear view mirror.

"Fuck's SAKE!", Demosquid said, "P3NT, be a geezer and put on some music would you?"

"hahaHAhaha.  Heh."  P3NT stuffed a CD in the player.  The awful warbling of the Spice Girls filled the car.

"What the hell is that shite?"

"hee HEEE heeeeeeeeee"

"Arse biscuit."  Demosquid leaned back out the window.  BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Off the sidewalk and back on the road, P3NT took the next left turn at 50 KPH, doing a classic Tokyo drift.  The remaining police car missed the turn, and slammed into a storefront.

"Show off."

"Ha HA ho ho ho"

"Bloody hurry up.  It's almost too late."

P3NT locked the brakes and slewed into a parking lot, then around into a drive through lane.  They placed their order.

"You know, P3NT, London was a whole lot easier when the curry shop was open 24 hours."

"hee ha ha ha.  Hee."
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#1
November 13, 2013, 04:17:29 PM
:spittake:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
November 13, 2013, 04:23:24 PM
I was trying to capture the spirit of Scotland with your character.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#3
November 13, 2013, 04:29:32 PM
You did. Perfectly.

About 5% of the population speak in HA, HE, HEH, and HO. Vowels and numbers of vowels are used to determine regions and affiliations.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
November 13, 2013, 04:33:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on November 13, 2013, 04:29:32 PM
You did. Perfectly.

About 5% of the population speak in HA, HE, HEH, and HO. Vowels and numbers of vowels are used to determine regions and affiliations.

I was going to use Faust in this, but the Irish don't even have the HEH.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

#5
November 13, 2013, 06:02:47 PM
They both end up wearing the curry when P3nt eskimo rolls the car just to prove that he COULD.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
November 13, 2013, 06:03:57 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 13, 2013, 06:02:47 PM
They both end up wearing the curry when P3nt eskimo rolls the car just to prove that he COULD.

Beats the time he eskimo rolled an elephant.  The mind recoils in horror.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#7
November 13, 2013, 06:18:55 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 13, 2013, 06:02:47 PM
They both end up wearing the curry when P3nt eskimo rolls the car just to prove that he COULD.

It's been attempted. My mate tried tying a kayak to the roof of his can and rolling up from there. True story...


I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#8
November 14, 2013, 01:04:08 AM
It's a hard-knock life. Damn take-aways cutting their hours.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Demolition Squid

#9
November 14, 2013, 09:00:03 AM
 :lulz:

Beautiful.

And you gotta have vindaloo after your beer or it just isn't saturday night. What kind of police state allows 24 hour drinking but has no 24 hour curry places?

One with the wrong values thats what.
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho

Faust

#10
November 14, 2013, 10:52:55 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 13, 2013, 04:33:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on November 13, 2013, 04:29:32 PM
You did. Perfectly.

About 5% of the population speak in HA, HE, HEH, and HO. Vowels and numbers of vowels are used to determine regions and affiliations.

I was going to use Faust in this, but the Irish don't even have the HEH.

Yeah, we have more of a guttural wailing or grunting.
Sleepless nights at the chateau
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