Mommy Shaming

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I think you asked that question already and I answered it, you manipulative nutcake, but here goes again:

No, I don't pull that shit on my kids, I like them, they like me, we get along.

Also: I don't think they are sad losers. I do think that you are one.

Just as a heads up, when I was being a bit of a nutter, I got a PM from Roger telling me that he was concerned. He signed it "Your friend."


Just saying. Roger's not a dick. Certainly not a loser.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Well, at the very least, he's including me.  I feel like one of the gang!

So many people forget what a mean and nasty person I can be, so prone to bias.

You take cheap one liners at my expense any chance you get.

Twid,
Never been mocked by the LMNO.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Look, I like you, I think you are right, being in school is the right choice. But do you actually think being constantly stressed out is a requirement?

Oh you're right, I'll totally just stop now.

Look, dumbass, I'm not "constantly stressed out". I'm not even sure where you pulled that assessment from (oh wait, yes I am. Your ass). What I am is working really hard because I have four children to raise, a house to keep, and grades to maintain, and nobody else is going to do this for me.

Yes, that is stressful on some fundamental levels, but there is only so much an individual can do to mitigate survival-related stresses. Like consciously relaxing, taking time for myself, getting enough sleep, making tome to exercise and get out into greenspaces. I do those things.

Don't call me dumbass, please, it's rude. I've been reading you for a long time. You don't appear to be particularly stressed, and indeed you are working hard, I can see that. As for your situation, I'm sure I have no idea, with the two of us supporting 6 kids and a household.... True, I don't go to college as well, and I do appreciate that your performance is quite outstanding. But I do a number of things besides the money-making work as well. But my comment about being constantly stressed out was more general: the responses I get seem to indicate that the majority opinion of the vocal people here (also, recalling the "let's make happyness a mental illness" thread) is that being stressed out a lot by the iniquities of the world is a requirement of honest living. I disagree with that.

(It's raining, I'm getting a lift to the school, so I have a little more time.)

You have not known Nigel long enough. Nigel has been through some fucking stress and she pulled herself through it. Matter of fact, I remember Faust saying something about her, and I quote,  "train wreck of a life". It wasn't long after that Nigel's Shiny New Life Thread popped up.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Divorce is pretty trainwrecky.

Not that Holist would know anything about that, being above it all.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I don't think the cost of living in Hungary is particularly high. They must live like kings on 48,000 kronors or whatever monetary units they use a year.

I converted it to dollers for your convenience, dumb thingie. Do the fucking math, 48,000 a year, 8 people. Food is actually a bit cheaper in the US, petrol is way cheaper in the US. Accommodation is way cheaper here. We are, incomewise, lower middle-class. I even suspect your household may spend more. Certainly not a lot less.

As someone who has spent money in both the US and the UK in recent years, it's 1 for 1, despite exchange rate. Compare the cost of a Coke in both countries. It's above a dollar/pound, and below 2 dollars/2 pound. Exchange rate may say something different, but bang for buck is the best measure.

When I went to Iceland, I had several grand after exchange. I'm rich motherfucker! except a burger is about 1000 kronor, or, in American, $10.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Divorce is pretty trainwrecky.

Not that Holist would know anything about that, being above it all.

Oh, not dogging on you at all, you were well within your rights. Much in the same way you told me to stop being a maudlin asshole.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Eh, I'm just going to stop trying to catch up on holist.

I have photosynthesis to catch up on, which is much more interesting. So here I am, missing the last 5 pages.

[Dildo Argentino]

Divorce is pretty trainwrecky.

Not that Holist would know anything about that, being above it all.

I am not above it all. Divorce (5 years ago now) came pretty close to finishing me off. Until then, I thought a "broken heart" was a sort of metaphorical expression. But then I felt it. It is not.

[Dildo Argentino]

Also, I didn't tell any mother they were not raising their kids right. I expressed surprise at the Little Man being the way he is with no particular reason and asked for clarification. In between the shower of abuse that generated, I actually was given an explanation. But that doesn't matter, because a frustrated middle-aged American engineer with toddler-discipline and marital problems, and questionable views on art, has spent years of diligent work laying out a little piece of turf for himself, which he protects fiercely. His toolkit is defined by his favourite hobbies: character assassination and manipulative lying.

See the thing that changed when this started is very simple: while so far I did continue to harbour the ambition of getting to a point where at least a part of PD understand and voice that understanding, I've finally given that up. The web of taboo is too strong, Roger's policing too practised, too successful.

For a while, I viewed starting with homeopathy way back when, and the lower-case only writing, as mistakes. And in general, testing a new social environment immediately with what I perceive it to be the heaviest implement available is indeed a character-flaw (see my 'first attempt at standing on hind legs'). But here, it worked. The outcome would have been no different had I begun on a less controversial note. It simply would have required more time.

Apart from that, I got attacked, hated and dismissed for believing and arguing that:

Third-world cities differ from first-world cities in a fundamental way
There may be interesting differences between the archaic and the modern human mind (people born and raised and spending their lives in monolythic cultures as opposed to the current megapopulation)
That freelance translation has a number of aspects that are similar to prostitution
That the bad thing, or the fundamental bad thing about the sex-industry may not be the exchange of sex for money, and that it may be possible to arrange a sex industry in a manner that makes it very significantly less damaging for the sex-workers
That 'authenticity' is a term that is validly applicable to music and to art in general
That a child who is like the Little Man described by Gogira does not get that way without appropriate, traumatic environmental influences

I think I may have missed out one or two...

Yep. I'm a monster.

Nigel (a special, personal message for Nigel): when it comes to condescending, you do quite well, too. But 'there are likeable aspects to your personality', too, and I haven't, as yet, given up on 'being kind to you' and 'trying to befriend'.

You still don't seem to get that it's really just that nobody likes you.

No, I do get that. But I've also noted that it varies. I'm looking for the underlying variables.

[Dildo Argentino]

As someone who has spent money in both the US and the UK in recent years, it's 1 for 1, despite exchange rate. Compare the cost of a Coke in both countries. It's above a dollar/pound, and below 2 dollars/2 pound. Exchange rate may say something different, but bang for buck is the best measure.

Well okay, (though I am a bit surprised, I've been told repeatedly that food and gas are significantly cheaper in the US) but the thing is, we moved back to Hungary July last year. So I wasn't comparing US and UK, but US and HU.

[hooplala]

Also, I didn't tell any mother they were not raising their kids right. I expressed surprise at the Little Man being the way he is with no particular reason and asked for clarification. In between the shower of abuse that generated, I actually was given an explanation. But that doesn't matter, because a frustrated middle-aged American engineer with toddler-discipline and marital problems, and questionable views on art, has spent years of diligent work laying out a little piece of turf for himself, which he protects fiercely. His toolkit is defined by his favourite hobbies: character assassination and manipulative lying.

See the thing that changed when this started is very simple: while so far I did continue to harbour the ambition of getting to a point where at least a part of PD understand and voice that understanding, I've finally given that up. The web of taboo is too strong, Roger's policing too practised, too successful.

For a while, I viewed starting with homeopathy way back when, and the lower-case only writing, as mistakes. And in general, testing a new social environment immediately with what I perceive it to be the heaviest implement available is indeed a character-flaw (see my 'first attempt at standing on hind legs'). But here, it worked. The outcome would have been no different had I begun on a less controversial note. It simply would have required more time.

Apart from that, I got attacked, hated and dismissed for believing and arguing that:

Third-world cities differ from first-world cities in a fundamental way
There may be interesting differences between the archaic and the modern human mind (people born and raised and spending their lives in monolythic cultures as opposed to the current megapopulation)
That freelance translation has a number of aspects that are similar to prostitution
That the bad thing, or the fundamental bad thing about the sex-industry may not be the exchange of sex for money, and that it may be possible to arrange a sex industry in a manner that makes it very significantly less damaging for the sex-workers
That 'authenticity' is a term that is validly applicable to music and to art in general
That a child who is like the Little Man described by Gogira does not get that way without appropriate, traumatic environmental influences

I think I may have missed out one or two...

Yep. I'm a monster.

Nigel (a special, personal message for Nigel): when it comes to condescending, you do quite well, too. But 'there are likeable aspects to your personality', too, and I haven't, as yet, given up on 'being kind to you' and 'trying to befriend'.

You still don't seem to get that it's really just that nobody likes you.

No, I do get that. But I've also noted that it varies. I'm looking for the underlying variables.

Interesting, because it doesn't seem to vary that much from where I'm sitting.  Perhaps you should reconsider that.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

No, I do get that. But I've also noted that it varies. I'm looking for the underlying variables.

Well, it's certainly not you.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Eh, I'm just going to stop trying to catch up on holist.

I have photosynthesis to catch up on, which is much more interesting. So here I am, missing the last 5 pages.

Oh yeah! We just started photosynthesis this week too. We should talk about that.

I put Holist back on ignore. He's just not capable of maintaining more than brief glimpses of being interesting before he reverts to boring babboonery. It's disappointing, but whatever.

[Reginald Ret]

Eh, I'm just going to stop trying to catch up on holist.

I have photosynthesis to catch up on, which is much more interesting. So here I am, missing the last 5 pages.

Oh yeah! We just started photosynthesis this week too. We should talk about that.

I put Holist back on ignore. He's just not capable of maintaining more than brief glimpses of being interesting before he reverts to boring babboonery. It's disappointing, but whatever.

I don't remember the details, but isn't photosynthesis one of the real life examples of quantum mechanics in action?
The series of proteins that start with absorbing a photon and end with iirc changing ADP + P -> ATP. So far nothing strange, right?
The only thing is, the efficiency of this transfer of energy is above 95%. This is not possible without quantum coherence, or so i read. I tried to better my understanding by reading up on quantum coherence but i couldn't wrap my head around it (yet, i'll think about it some more). This is of course not surprising because quantum. Dammit, i got distracted by quantum.
Anyway, there is this one protein that reacts to getting hit by a photon by changing it's configuration. (This is what proteins do, stuff interacts with them and they change shape. Pretty cool if you ask me) This brings the part of the protein that just got energy added to it (the photon agitated an electron in 'orbit' around an atom so it went into a higher 'orbit' making it more susceptible to interaction with other stuff) closer to the right part of the 2^nd protein in the cascade. This electron is understandably agitated, after all, he was just chilling out in his favorite orbit and out of nowhere this photon pushes him out of his comfort zone! This 2^nd protein's electron accepts the extra energy because the agitated electron on the 1^st protein pokes the 2^nd protein until one of it's electrons gets agitated. The agitated electron on the first protein immediatly calms the fuck down after venting his irritation. He goes back to his favorite orbit and drinks some camomile tea. This sad cascade of violence happens a few more times untill the agitation energy is brought to the other side of the membrane (did i tell you all of this is happening in the membrane of a chloroplast? it is) where quite a lot of ADP and loose P are hanging out being useless little shits. Now, the last agitated electron in the cascade is just as agitated as the first one, even though he knows nothing of the photon that originally started it all. So he grabs¹ one of each of these useless bums and smashes their heads together untill they learn to play nice and work together becoming the team known as ATP.

¹ ok, technically they were already held by the last protein, and the addition of the energy to the protein leads to a change in its shape that instantly smashes the two bums together, but that was harder to write into the story.

P.S. Ok, so I did remember quite  a lot of details. I'm still not entirely sure if ADP + P -> ATP is the reaction that happens at the end though. Could be something else.

P.P.S. This was fun!

[East Coast Hustle]

Also, I didn't tell any mother they were not raising their kids right. I expressed surprise at the Little Man being the way he is with no particular reason and asked for clarification. In between the shower of abuse that generated, I actually was given an explanation. But that doesn't matter, because a frustrated middle-aged American engineer with toddler-discipline and marital problems, and questionable views on art, has spent years of diligent work laying out a little piece of turf for himself, which he protects fiercely. His toolkit is defined by his favourite hobbies: character assassination and manipulative lying.

See the thing that changed when this started is very simple: while so far I did continue to harbour the ambition of getting to a point where at least a part of PD understand and voice that understanding, I've finally given that up. The web of taboo is too strong, Roger's policing too practised, too successful.

For a while, I viewed starting with homeopathy way back when, and the lower-case only writing, as mistakes. And in general, testing a new social environment immediately with what I perceive it to be the heaviest implement available is indeed a character-flaw (see my 'first attempt at standing on hind legs'). But here, it worked. The outcome would have been no different had I begun on a less controversial note. It simply would have required more time.

Apart from that, I got attacked, hated and dismissed for believing and arguing that:

Third-world cities differ from first-world cities in a fundamental way
There may be interesting differences between the archaic and the modern human mind (people born and raised and spending their lives in monolythic cultures as opposed to the current megapopulation)
That freelance translation has a number of aspects that are similar to prostitution
That the bad thing, or the fundamental bad thing about the sex-industry may not be the exchange of sex for money, and that it may be possible to arrange a sex industry in a manner that makes it very significantly less damaging for the sex-workers
That 'authenticity' is a term that is validly applicable to music and to art in general
That a child who is like the Little Man described by Gogira does not get that way without appropriate, traumatic environmental influences

I think I may have missed out one or two...

Yep. I'm a monster.

Nigel (a special, personal message for Nigel): when it comes to condescending, you do quite well, too. But 'there are likeable aspects to your personality', too, and I haven't, as yet, given up on 'being kind to you' and 'trying to befriend'.

You still don't seem to get that it's really just that nobody likes you.

No, I do get that. But I've also noted that it varies. I'm looking for the underlying variables.

The more you talk, the less variance there is. I don't have anything personal against you, dude, and I really hope you eventually figure out how to relate to humans that fall outside your comfort zone without being such a twat, but RIGHT FUCKING NOW you are an insufferable whistledick. I kind of feel for you because I used to be quite a bit like you (at least in regards to how I approached social situations from the outside) but then I got through puberty and started acting like a real person. Here's hoping you find that same path someday.