A light hearted mugging

[Salty]

It was my own damned fault for not thinking.

I wanted beer and couldn't take a bike because my lazy ass didn't break in the studded tires before the snow dump...that was about a month late.

Anyhow, the trip to the booze shop is fine. On the way back, I turn on my street and there are four dudes walking right in the middle of the road, being lpid and laughing.

Such scense have rarely been pleasant for me, but I'll wager I'm not alone there.

I do another stupid thing (the first one was being alone), and haunch my shoulders, put on my tired face, and try to pass the storm. One of them starts barking like a dog at me, which makes me grin and look over. Some dude smiles back.

But one of them stops me.

"Hey, hey stop man. Hey look I know you're probably tired and everything."

Uh oh.

"But can I get five dollars from you?"

I begin my stock line, don't carry cash.

"Oh I know you got something, don't be like that."

UH OH.

I slap a huge grin on my face, "Well, I don't have any cash." I sling my backpack down. "I just spent it on beer, you want one." I hand out two, and the dude whose enjoying the show next to his large pal runs and gets the other two who've gone ahead.

"Hey can I have another one?" Big dude number one asks.

"No." I say.

The others come up, "Hey can we have a beer?"

Backpack comes off, beers go away. I accidentally pull.out a 22oz I got for the wife. They all.make a big noise.

"Ah no, that's for my woman. If i don't bring it home I'll really be in trouble." This, as hoped gets a good laugh out of the new two.

Big dude though, he's pissed.

"Now I'm pissed off" he slurs. "I asked you for another and you said no, and then you gave them beers. Now i want another one and I want the big one."

My jaw hangs open and, as you do, I look around for support.

And to my eternal gratitude the two new guys are staring at the big asshole like he's, well, an asshole.

One of them says, "Man he just gave us FOUR BEERS."
The other says, "Yeah man, you didn't have to give us those, we're not trying to gank you."

And it is a credit to my recent personal development that I didn't immediately shout, "YEAH WELL TELL THAT TO THIS PIG FUCKER."

But they talk him down in the manner suited to those who may just possibly be on.parole and don't need this kind of bullshit.

So all in all, it was all good. I.lost four beers. But i kept: most.of my dignity, the rest of my beers, and the $50, HTC One X, and big bag of weed.

I really do know better, I swear.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Damn dude. Sorry that happened.

[Dildo Argentino]

You made the best of a bad situation, though, well played.