PI with Malice Aforethought: Junkenstein

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Little is known of Junkenstein's life prior to The War.  Of course there are the various legends and rumors that always surround such people, but almost all of them are apocryphal.  What is known about Junkenstein is that he distinguished himself during the war, volunteering for the most dangerous bombing missions over Belgium, in the very worst phase of the air war.

This is particularly impressive given the Belgian's superior technology and numerical advantage.  They had an edge, airpower-wise over the British forces that varied between 4:1 at the beginning of the conflict, and even maintained a 2:1 ratio at the very end.  In addition, their zeppelins employed helium, in contrast to the hydrogen death traps employed by the British.

It is said that he was cocky, and there are several accounts that bear this out...For example, "landing" his Zeppelin squarely on top of a Belgian airship, and screaming "TAKE IT ALL, YOU SLAG!" over his loud speaker.  He was also infamous for his adriot use of profanity over semaphore.  However, it cannot be argued that this in any way impinged on his effectiveness.  With 312 confirmed victories, he was the greatest ace of the war.  Belgian pilots feared him, and dreaded the idea of him howling down out of the sun at them at 20 kilometers per hour.

After the war, he found himself unable to adjust to civilian life, having become something of an adrenaline junkie.  He starred in a couple of war dramas, acting his own role in the war.  Both movies were box office hits and remain classics to this day, despite their primitive filming (3D was the best available technology of the time).  He eventually took to daredevil activities, including several expeditions financed by the crown to survey what was left of civilization outside of England.

Junkenstein disappeared while conducting an aeriel survey of the rainforests of Queensland 6 years after the war.  No wreckage of the expeditions zeppelin was ever found, which of course lent weight to the Arthurian-esque legends that surround him; that he would return when Albion needed him most, etc.  Indeed, some say he is out there still, wandering the globe at 12,000 feet.

This is all nonsense, of course.  If Junkenstein were alive today, he would be 97 years old, hardly an age suitable for extremely high-altitude life.  It is, however, an ideosyncrasy of the lower classes to add to a legend that needed no embellishment.

[Junkenstein]

You would be surprised at the level of truth being quietly revealed here.

I am bound by a variety of oaths and non-disclosure agreements but I can confirm at least a few things:

1- It is well known that part of the edge I had was an advanced Zeppelin capable of 22KPH.

2 - I enlisted in the war in its earliest stages. Like many at the time I was under-age and the conscription chaps gladly turned a blind eye to make the quota. They were jolly nice about it all, but it was a bit of a spoiler for my 6th birthday. I should stress that anyone could have done what I did and I was very lucky. From having to be used as ammunition to chef, I worked the whole Zeppelin. It was really only due to the extreme ammunition shortage that all sides suffered that I was lucky enough to be fired an even number of times. There are countless brits who are now Belgians, and Belgians who are brits and they are forbidden to speak about it. Or at all, if they can't speak the language. Ask Waffles, he'll deny it.

3 - I am actually still alive. And old. Very old. "You fuckers should be trying to get on my good side and in my will" old.

Anything else is naturally lies and slander and I deny it all.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Junky! Can I fluff your pillows? Would you like another drunk coffee? I'M YOUR FAVORITE, RIGHT?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Such a brave man. *wipes away a tear* There should be more like him. But then we'd run out of rainforests, rather quickly I expect. And zeppelins.

[hirley0]

9:27Your comment is awaiting moderation.{ad 73 ad 79} Was

Junky! Can I fluff your pillows? Would you like another drunk coffee? I'M YOUR FAVORITE, RIGHT?

i don't drink coffee i drink Tea
&I try to avoid playing Favorites, so I do NOT vote. As its a Favorites game:
i bet favorites at the Races? occasionally at Rialto / down on 4th Ave
http://www.mapquest.com/places/rialto-off-track-betting-portland-or-24297769/
As4JK. Hmm/ donno / No idea, 90's? WWii bro=87 so Yo2U2.2

[hirley0]

pillow fluff &other explanations
of the WBO, IMF, & ECB {THEORY that}}
Japan is worth what they say it is &other CLASICAL Scores}}} O bo'
Or Best Offer { Like a Trip to }} Never Mind & }}}