Open Bar: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Am I an alcoholic? I drink like a half gallon of gin every 3 days.

Dear god.

OK, so I am not an expert, but at the very least, that amount of alcohol will make you fat.

[Odibex Grallspice]

Well, I'm definitely fat. Maybe now I know why.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So I have a sort of dilemma.

I mean, not REALLY, but let's just pretend that somehow I have some kind of say in the matter.

There's my accountant. In Baltimore. Who I have been kind of in love with for like 20 years. I would like him to move back to Portland, no idea if that's going to actually ever happen. Pipe dreams and wishful thinking, right?

And then there's this artist who I have had kind of a minor recurring crush on for the last 5-ish years. Who owns a home in St. Johns and is really into dogs and gardening, and who gave me a fantastically panty-moistening hug last night. With his absurd, perfect body OMG how does he even do that.

I think artist guy likes me and he is single again, having finally broken up with his last lady who was basically superhumanly awesome and totally intimidating. But he's also suuuper monogamous and if I go there, that's IT. Any extracurricular interests go into shutdown, goodbye accountant.

Actually this is not even really a dilemma because I'm too chickenshit to do anything about it. Like if I was a player I would be all "hey artist, know how you wanted to come to the coast but there's no more room at the house? Well you can share my bed" but I'm not actually ever going to say that.

[Odibex Grallspice]

Get your stuff together and ask out artist guy, fer chrissake! What's the worst that could happen? I'd hold off on the bedroom talk, though, that could be intimidating.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Get your stuff together and ask out artist guy, fer chrissake! What's the worst that could happen? I'd hold off on the bedroom talk, though, that could be intimidating.

Yeahhhh

My chance is this weekend, but I'm going out to the coast to hang with my friends. My safe, safe, comforting friends.

I am not actually all that brave when it comes to guys. It essentially took all my accumulated bravery for 15 years to tell accountant guy I like him last summer, I  think I might be spent for the foreseeable future.

[Odibex Grallspice]

Yeah, I hear ya. I've never in my life asked a girl out. If I hadn't been somewhat attractive and interesting I would be a forever alone virgin. But eventually, roughly after highschool, the girls stopped asking me out and I've been alone ever since, more or less. And frankly that sucks, but I just don't have the social skills to make something happen. What are ya gonna do, though?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, I hear ya. I've never in my life asked a girl out. If I hadn't been somewhat attractive and interesting I would be a forever alone virgin. But eventually, roughly after highschool, the girls stopped asking me out and I've been alone ever since, more or less. And frankly that sucks, but I just don't have the social skills to make something happen. What are ya gonna do, though?

Um, maybe be proactive for a half a minute?

I dunno. I might be a hypocrite for saying it given how hard it is for me to hit on anyone I remotely give a shit about, but the deal seems to be, if you're a chick and you're passive, you end up with mostly giant asshole losers, and if you're a guy and you're passive, you end up alone.

Not sure who has it worse, really. But either way, it pays to just ask people out.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think I am going to hold out a while though. Give accountant a chance to break my heart.

[LMNO]

Am I an alcoholic? I drink like a half gallon of gin every 3 days.

Dear god.

OK, so I am not an expert, but at the very least, that amount of alcohol will make you fat.

Ok, i did the math.  if you have 4 gin drinks a day, with 5 oz of gin per drink, that will kill a half gallon in three days.

So, it's possible, if not necessarily advisable.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Am I an alcoholic? I drink like a half gallon of gin every 3 days.

Dear god.

OK, so I am not an expert, but at the very least, that amount of alcohol will make you fat.

Ok, i did the math.  if you have 4 gin drinks a day, with 5 oz of gin per drink, that will kill a half gallon in three days.

So, it's possible, if not necessarily advisable.

5 oz of gin is, in my world anyway, roughly three servings.

Like, not to be a dick but 5 oz is about a glass of wine, volume-wise.

[Odibex Grallspice]

Um, maybe be proactive for a half a minute? [/quote]
Yeah, maybe someday, I recently asked a girl out on facebook which is progress of a computer sort. Oh, and I forgot I recently had an online relationship with a girl. Lucked out there, but the online thing is kind of worthless, to me anyway.
From Baltimore to Portland is a big move, I know this, see, because I live in Baltimore.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I wanna shit my weight in whiskey.

If you can get away with it, I advise you to indulge for two weeks. No more. Two weeks of FUCK EVERYTHING I AM DRUNK. But after that, you must start something new. Something you've never done before, that will occupy you for a while.

This.  The horrible drunk is to shock your system.  The follow up New Interesting Thing must follow immediately, and must REPLACE the booze.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yeah, maybe someday, I recently asked a girl out on facebook which is progress of a computer sort. Oh, and I forgot I recently had an online relationship with a girl. Lucked out there, but the online thing is kind of worthless, to me anyway.
From Baltimore to Portland is a big move, I know this, see, because I live in Baltimore.

Enki redux.

Look, the computer is all very well for certain types of social things.

It isn't a substitute for dating.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So, in the same world where it's totes cool to down 12 glasses of wine, about two bottles a night, yep, that's totes not drinking too much.

In the meantime, the girl who drinks too much is just going to come out and say, 1/2 gallon of gin every three days is drinking too much, stop that.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yeah, I hear ya. I've never in my life asked a girl out. If I hadn't been somewhat attractive and interesting I would be a forever alone virgin. But eventually, roughly after highschool, the girls stopped asking me out and I've been alone ever since, more or less. And frankly that sucks, but I just don't have the social skills to make something happen. What are ya gonna do, though?

"Go ask a girl out."

The penalty for failure is a "no", which leaves you where you started, not further back.