Terrible Remedies for QG's Unhappy Body

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Unexplained muscle aches, upper abdominal pain, and generalized gastro-intestinal distress. Who has the cure?








Yes, I know these are common physical symptoms of stress and that's probably the cause.

[Cain]

Oranges.  Lots and lots of oranges.  20 oranges a day, at least.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Strong strong liquor.

When you feel a bit numb and giddy, you're on the right track. I recommend a smooth whiskey, perhaps in a mug of tea. Then, orbital bombardment with spicy stuff. Note that this actually works better for head colds but you mentioned it being terrible.

Also you will require a blanket, a couch, a TV, and an iron grip on all your fucks.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Oranges.  Lots and lots of oranges.  20 oranges a day, at least.

Regular oranges or will clementines do?

[Junkenstein]

A great big bowl of crack.

This may not alleviate the symptoms, but you probably won't care because you'll be busy finding more crack.

[Salty]

1. Acquire large quartz crystal.
2. Use as suppository.

[LMNO]

Vindaloo, pork cabbage rolls, and a six of cheap-ass beer.  Wait 6-12 hours, and have a restroom nearby at all times.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Vindaloo, pork cabbage rolls, and a six of cheap-ass beer.  Wait 6-12 hours, and have a restroom nearby at all times.

Minus the pork cabbage rolls, that sounds like my kind of weekend.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Boiled eggs and Bud Light. Fart it out.

Seriously? Pu Ehr tea with a little ginger and dry toast till it's gone.

[Cain]

Oranges.  Lots and lots of oranges.  20 oranges a day, at least.

Regular oranges or will clementines do?

Regular, for sure.

You can even turn it into a competition.

[Ben Shapiro]

Indian food.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Oranges.  Lots and lots of oranges.  20 oranges a day, at least.

Regular oranges or will clementines do?

Regular, for sure.

You can even turn it into a competition.

You may even amuse a nurse if things go awry.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Deep fried "tacos" from Jack In The Box. Lots of them.
KA BOOM - toilet gone, colon empty.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oranges.  Lots and lots of oranges.  20 oranges a day, at least.

That is truly terrible.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Oranges.  Lots and lots of oranges.  20 oranges a day, at least.

That is truly terrible.

It's ESPECIALLY terrible when some fucking spaglord from Buttown beats your record by ONE LOUSY ORANGE

god i vomited so much