I'm just going to leave this here...

[Nephew Twiddleton]

God, Twid, you might not even be a Bostonian if you don't walk around hollering about DA BROOOOOOONS.

I was born in Brigham and Women's. I work for Brigham and Women's. I will probably die in Brigham and Women's.

I'm a fahkin' Bahstonyin. I just don't sound it, or like hockey.

Also, anytime I am unexpectedly non-Bostonian, the Irish passport comes out. You know, like when you notice that I pronounce my R's

Twid
Actually happened last week when my work crush asked why I didn't have that apparently delightful Boston accent.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Ramp up the Boston.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Ramp up the Boston.

If you give me a hockey team to hate, I will.

Aunt Marie is a shout at the TV Bruins fan. Loud shouting type.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Hmmm....

Might help if I mention cities I hate.

New York City
Los Angeles. Never been to LA but I hate them on principle. For much the same reason I hate NYC.

That's about it. Cool with all other major cities. Just hate NYC and LA.

ETA:
As a Star Trek fan I like that Starfleet HQ is in San Francisco and the capital of the United Federation of Planets is Paris. It's not Boston, but it isn't NYC or LA.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I hate NYC because it's a larger, bastard version of Boston and smells like piss everywhere. Brooklyn smells like trash day every day. I hate going to NYC in summer because it fucking stinks. And it's never trash day in Brooklyn, everyone in Brooklyn just thinks it is. NYC is impressive from a distance. When you enter NYC, you want out. NOW.

I hate LA because they're Californian NYC. I base this on nothing except the latent arrogance that ties the two cities together. The whole idea that "our city is the shit, and a model of American culture, even though we literally smell like shit. And that it is near impossible to live here financially. We are AMERICA."

[Ben Shapiro]

I hate NYC because it's a larger, bastard version of Boston and smells like piss everywhere. Brooklyn smells like trash day every day. I hate going to NYC in summer because it fucking stinks. And it's never trash day in Brooklyn, everyone in Brooklyn just thinks it is. NYC is impressive from a distance. When you enter NYC, you want out. NOW.

I hate LA because they're Californian NYC. I base this on nothing except the latent arrogance that ties the two cities together. The whole idea that "our city is the shit, and a model of American culture, even though we literally smell like shit. And that it is near impossible to live here financially. We are AMERICA."

HIP-HOP Brah

[LMNO]

You'd be surprised at the amount of hip-hop in Boston.  And of course, there's always Bobby Brown...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

...a petition worth signing:

https://www.change.org/petitions/the-national-football-league-allow-gwar-to-perform-the-2015-super-bowl-halftime-show

I can get behind this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Now, I hate football. I hate sports actually. I think they're boring. It's actually really surprising that I like baseball, which is admittedly pretty boring unless you are emotionally invested in a team like I am with the Red Sox. But, if Gwar plays the 2015 Superbowl, I will watch the whole damn game.

Hating football is okay, if you're a Canadian or some other form of communist.

But hating the Superbowl is like hating skeet shooting.  Or Jesus.

I don't even have a feeling about  it. Does that make me a communist?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

You can have a superbowl without GWAR, but you can't fuck a turkey pot pie before it gets cold.

And that's all the America™ you need to understand.

I can, however, have a Superbowl without American football.

There is no other kind of football.  The Canadians tried it, but they made the field too long and screwed up the rules.  Rugby is okay, but their halftime sucks monkey balls.

The only kind of ball for me is the base variety. Like I said, I find sports in general boring. For some strange reason, I suddenly took a liking to baseball, and the Red Sox in particular.

The only kind of ball for me is...

[Ben Shapiro]

You'd be surprised at the amount of hip-hop in Boston.  And of course, there's always Bobby Brown...

Oh?

[LMNO]

Yes.

[East Coast Hustle]

Boston is CRAWLING with good hip-hop. Slaine and Edo G are the first two that come to mind, but there are tons of others.

And how can you be from Boston and not know that the Bruins and Canadiens are MORTAL ENEMIES?