Re: Open Bar: RECOMMENDABLE

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger: feel better. And by 'better' I do not mean to imply 'poop more rainbows.'

Just don't take Wellbutrin. I tried that once and it made me forget how to fucking talk.

Wellbutrin is contraindicated for use with my sleeping pills.

I am currently using the Nigelco™ "Go Outside" pill, and it seemed to work well last night.

But now I am back behind this fucking desk.

Sounds like you need Vitamin D. Maybe if you get time after work you can sit outside and read a book or something?

Unlike places like, say, here, where people regularly off themselves as a byproduct of low vitamin D, people in Arizona have that problem so rarely it would be quite remarkable if Roger managed it.

Arizonians' entire carapace is made from concentrated Vitamin D that is used defensively and offensively to bash tourists into pulp or as a feeble shield between the tender inner meat and the pounding hammer of sky-born death rays that is colloquially known elsewhere as 'sunlight'. Giving foreign-sourced vitamin D to an Arizonian would be like offering sushi made in an Ohio garage to Chef Hashimoto and have about the same effect.

The Arizonian will be enraged and the carapace will harden further and the offending person, building, or javelina will be smeared into a fine paste across the sand.

This is how topsoil is made in Arizona.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Roger: feel better. And by 'better' I do not mean to imply 'poop more rainbows.'

Just don't take Wellbutrin. I tried that once and it made me forget how to fucking talk.

Wellbutrin is contraindicated for use with my sleeping pills.

I am currently using the Nigelco™ "Go Outside" pill, and it seemed to work well last night.

But now I am back behind this fucking desk.

Sounds like you need Vitamin D. Maybe if you get time after work you can sit outside and read a book or something?

Unlike places like, say, here, where people regularly off themselves as a byproduct of low vitamin D, people in Arizona have that problem so rarely it would be quite remarkable if Roger managed it.

Arizonians' entire carapace is made from concentrated Vitamin D that is used defensively and offensively to bash tourists into pulp or as a feeble shield between the tender inner meat and the pounding hammer of sky-born death rays that is colloquially known elsewhere as 'sunlight'. Giving foreign-sourced vitamin D to an Arizonian would be like offering sushi made in an Ohio garage to Chef Hashimoto and have about the same effect.

The Arizonian will be enraged and the carapace will harden further and the offending person, building, or javelina will be smeared into a fine paste across the sand.

This is how topsoil is made in Arizona.

A certain subset of Arizonian has also been known to engage in 'composting', where in the thin smear of meat and bone splinters and sand is rolled up akin to a jelly roll or a carpet and then deposited in a dumpster.

In there, the overwhelming heat contained within the metal box first melts then solidifies the carbon-silica composite and renders it into what is called 'sand sparkly', something that can be compressed further into a sort of gruesome 'memorial diamond' that can be used to adorn, displayed as a trophy while further weaponizing an Arizonian carapace.

Or it can be removed from the dumpster and planted in the desert to nourish the soil from beneath to create a micro environment that will sustain plant life despite the harsh sun and unforgiving wind.

It is recommended that no crop plants (fruit trees, corn, Skittles bushes) be planted above these fertilizer bombs as the source of the fertilizer lends an odd taste to the resulting crop and there has been some note of side-effects. While these have not been fully explored, initial reports indicated increased rage responses and uncontrollable tea-bagging or twerking, depending on prior political persuasion.

While in other areas of the country, 'composting' is a sustainable living practice and a form of social currency among 'green people' or 'agro-hipsters', in Arizona it has become something far deadlier and far more repugnant.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Weaponized carparace! 

[Suu]

Roger: feel better. And by 'better' I do not mean to imply 'poop more rainbows.'

Just don't take Wellbutrin. I tried that once and it made me forget how to fucking talk.

Wellbutrin is contraindicated for use with my sleeping pills.

I am currently using the Nigelco™ "Go Outside" pill, and it seemed to work well last night.

But now I am back behind this fucking desk.

Sounds like you need Vitamin D. Maybe if you get time after work you can sit outside and read a book or something?

Unlike places like, say, here, where people regularly off themselves as a byproduct of low vitamin D, people in Arizona have that problem so rarely it would be quite remarkable if Roger managed it.

Arizonians' entire carapace is made from concentrated Vitamin D that is used defensively and offensively to bash tourists into pulp or as a feeble shield between the tender inner meat and the pounding hammer of sky-born death rays that is colloquially known elsewhere as 'sunlight'. Giving foreign-sourced vitamin D to an Arizonian would be like offering sushi made in an Ohio garage to Chef Hashimoto and have about the same effect.

The Arizonian will be enraged and the carapace will harden further and the offending person, building, or javelina will be smeared into a fine paste across the sand.

This is how topsoil is made in Arizona.

[Left]

*Deleted for stupid*

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger pities them. Then visualizes them getting splattered by asteroids.

No, yes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Posting here never seems to go well.

FTFY.  Welcome to the rest of us.   

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Posting here never seems to go well.

FTFY.  Welcome to the rest of us.   

Truth.

[EK WAFFLR]

Posting here never seems to go well.

FTFY.  Welcome to the rest of us.   

Truth.

Yep.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

It broke  the doctor wouldn't even let me keep it in a jar 

Once something's been cut out of me, I don't want it anymore.

I tried to get my wisdom tooth, but the dentist said it was illegal to give it to me because it was "toxic waste".
My tooth was "toxic waste".
THANKS A LOT OBAMA CLINTON

My whole face is toxic waste.

And let's not get started on my hair problem.

Yeah, but this is A MOUTH FULL OF TOXIC WASTE.

One day, I shall have to tell you a particularly horrible tale.

[Ben Shapiro]

Rog had that brain infection thingee...he actually might be able to get off the drugs in time, ought to be taking lots of b vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids and such.

Roger is very well aware of his condition, and will never be able to sleep properly without medication.

Roger would appreciate not getting diagnosis or prescription advice from the peanut gallery in the future.

Roger thanks you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

Brah your frequencies are out of whack. Let me rub some cabbage on you.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Rog had that brain infection thingee...he actually might be able to get off the drugs in time, ought to be taking lots of b vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids and such.

Roger is very well aware of his condition, and will never be able to sleep properly without medication.

Roger would appreciate not getting diagnosis or prescription advice from the peanut gallery in the future.

Roger thanks you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

Brah your frequencies are out of whack. Let me rub some cabbage on you.

That's hot.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I'd pay to watch that. Although only if Bear then combs the cabbage out of Roger's back fur with a curry comb afterwards. Because it would be rude to send him home to his wife adorned with cabbage bits. Coleslaw is not an aphrodisiac to most people.

[Left]

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/08/when-lyme-disease-lasts-and-lasts/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

Long and boring-ass story, but not lyme.
cpnhelp.org

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I'd pay to watch that. Although only if Bear then combs the cabbage out of Roger's back fur with a curry comb afterwards. Because it would be rude to send him home to his wife adorned with cabbage bits. Coleslaw is not an aphrodisiac to most people.

A curry is totally the wrong tool for back hair. With a longer handle it might make a good backscratcher, though. At least better than those bamboo hands they sell to tourists in Chinatown.