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Body Talk

Started by Salty, January 18, 2014, 08:01:23 PM

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Salty

I love the human body. Most of the stink that comes off them is from the rotting, malnourished minds inside. But it is a powerful, versatile, robust, and fascinating precision biological machine. That HUMANS thread is pretty badass, and biology in general is badass.

I am going to, hopefully, dump thoughts I have about the body, massage, and other shit like that that interests me here so I can come up with some kind of cohesive thingy for which to use for later writing.

Or something.

Anyway:

KIND OF MASSAGE

You could look it up, you may have. You may be familiar. But I think I have some layman perspective that may prove useful to other people.


PLEASE TO NOTE: I am not an expert. I am working my way there, but that will take me, oh, probably about 15-20 more years and a lot more education. If you see anything here that seems, or is WRONG please do tell me. I will say most of this is speculation and me just spinning my wheels to see what, if anything, will stick.

And yeah, ima mix my motherfucking metaphors.

There are 2 kinds of massage:

1. The kind that works the brain.
2. The kind that works the muscles/other similar tissue LOCALLY.

1. The kind that works the brain.

This is the kind you are probably most familiar with. It is the most common, whether the practitioner is doing it intentionally.

Swedish massage, some deep tissue (it's a broad term), relaxation massage, backrubs.

When using these techniques, humans are able to use their hands to send messages through the body to the brain.

Calm down.
Everything is okay.
No one is going to eat you.

When done with precision and skill this kind of massage can make people becomes pools of melted butter. Music helps, as does a dark room. After a perfect swedish massage the receiver should feel somewhere between asleep and awake and fully rested, ready to seize the carp. The giver should also feel pretty damned good.

Muscles are not very much of anything. Water, some fiber, electricity, rigging, hookups. Mostly water.

If you read Job's Body, which you should, you might think that it is sea water. You could even go as far to say you propel your body by throwing sea water wherever you want to go, out a head of you, in geometric patterns, under highly pressurized conditions, so you can go to the mall.

All under the careful control of your brain.

If you give anesthesia to a yogi or a mean old drunk or a soccer mom or a professional wrestler the same damned thing happens to all of them: they go limp. Because the brain can't say any differently. They wake up, and each of them resumes carrying weight around in weird, freaky, unique ways as per instructions from their brains.

So, though it may feel an awful lot like someone is poking your body, they are most often trying to poke your brain.

I prefer getting this kind of massage because it is easy for the other person to not fuck up, and because skilled people in with this technique are only skilled because they well and truly care about people. It is this kind of touch, employed in a mass scale, that humanity could do with. I am a firm believer that if ever single person got massage like that every week we would all be a lot kind to one another.

If I was a dictator/emperor/Juggernaut Supreme I would impose this as world law.

It makes you feel less afraid of people, it's is touch that often undoes the Gordian knots of people brains.

2.The kind that works the muscles/other similar tissue LOCALLY.

This is the kind of work that I do.

I do not wait for the brain. I do not tussle with people so they can simply go back to thinking idiot thoughts that cause them pain and they have to come back.

Oh sure, I could train these people. I could pry their minds open, not all of them but most, and fill it with something that will give them some sense of peace and unity and blah blah blah.

But fuck that. That is THEIR business. I do brain work for some people, who are cool, or I care about. And I like to receive it. But it's is just too much work, plus people can't handle the horrible truth, and boy, if I am going to blow sunshine up your ass I am going to blow horrible smoke as well.

I work fascia, which surrounds muscle, gives muscle its shape, gives YOU your shape.

Fascia is tough and fiberous, it is made of the same stuff your bones are made of, minus any heavy duty minerals.

Fascia is the wrapping of your sweet candy, the rope that hoists your sails.

When you move awkwardly and feel like you are stuck in that position and if you move out of it you will feel pain...

...9 times out of 10, IME, that is fascia, not muscle.

Muscles and your brain talk with electricity.

Fascia and your brain talk with chemicals, cortisol to be specific.

When you experience stress your body produces or releases or makes adrenaline and cortisol, you can outrun the bear. Or try your damndest anyway.

Cortisol turns on MICROFIBRILS which create chains of collagen which is your fascia.

This collagen bunches up in certain areas in certain people, the neck, the low back, glutes, hamstrings. Wherever. It does this probably for the same reason fat goes to certain areas on certain people. Genes, habits, QUANTUMZ.

You brain sends signals for production of fascia, but it does not send signals to undo or counter that production. There is no anti-cortisol as far as your fascia is concerned.

Why? Because it is DEAD. You can't relax your fascia any more that you can wave your hair, more or less for the same reason.

So, how do you undo the damage cause by poor postural habits and stress without end?

1. Cease cortisol production.

Stop adding to it. Relax, chill out, get a massage, do yoga. Take 20 minutes out of every single day for yourself. Do not watch tv, do not read a book. 20 minutes for your body. Listen to it. Let it know it is in a safe place and you can relax. There is no bear.

2. Work the tissue.

Fascia, once in place, requires HEAT and MOVEMENT to engage in a metabolic process which will make it quit it with the god damned tension. You need to burn that shit UP and move it around.

So....exercise that focuses on problem areas. Hard to do, especially in the neck and the shoulders and the upper back.

Or comes see ME! I spend up to an hour slowly pulling fascia apart, painting the whole muscle's fascia, along the muscle's natural form given by the fascia, using friction to create localized heat and movement.

This does a couple things. It reminds everything in the area that it has a god damned job to do! (I think) it eats up the collagen, makes it less. It gives your muscle a bigger, roomier place to live. It releases old chemicals that were stored in the Ground Substance and makes you a bit dizzy.

What is Ground Substance?

It is an awful lot like the sea. But it is a lot more like a work table upon which your body can mix various hormones and other chemicals with your blood.

OK, that's all I got for today.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

East Coast Hustle

That's actually pretty interesting shit. Never would have occurred to me that what you do is focused more on fascia than muscles but it makes total sense when you explain it. Thanks!
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

Oh, and I could not possibly agree more about our society having a desperate need for human touch and how it would make most of us much better people.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Pope Pixie Pickle

thanks to this post I'm totally considering getting my Mum a massage treatment for her birthday.  :)

Salty

*NONE OF THE FOLLOWING IS MEANT AS MEDICAL ADVICE OR A SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL ADVICE. USE THIS INFO AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS IS THE MEANDERING MIND OF A MASSAGE PERSON WITH FEW QUALIFICATIONS. *

About Back Pain.

I try not to wantonly badmouth doctors as a whole (anymore). But the manner in which US doctors handle back pain, especially low back pain is atrocious at best, grossly negligent and malpracticey as a standard.

SO YOU HAVE LOW BACK PAIN?

WHAT DO?

First, assume this: You have no idea what's causing the pain, and neither do 80% of the resources you have access to.

Reasons your low back could hurt:
Fascia lockup.
Muscle knots.
Spinal dysfunction, tears in intervertebral thingies, bulging discs, ruptured discs.
Kidney problems.
Other organ type issues.
Psychosomatic response.

It may well be any or all of these things. My recommendation is to check them all out. I personally would only choose surgery after ensuring all of those things check out.

Secondly, realize that it's MOST LIKELY not your back that's the problem. It is many different patterns of tension.

Erector spinae muscle:
Sit upright with feet on the floor, causually put your thumb on the part of your back that lies opposite of the bottom of your sternum. Those little bastards are at a critical pressure distrbution center, and prone to knots which spread pain downward.

Magic Spot #13 (lowest paraspinals):
Where your spine meets your hips on the there is a little pocket you will be hardpressed to accurately locate yourself. It is small, tougher than shit, and will lock you up so bad you have to crawl around. It is a critical component to almost all of your movements and is often overlooked by skilled massage therapists.

Magic Spot #12 (Origin of your gluteus medius):
You know that little dimple people have on their hips, distal to that is a motherfucker of a knot that will not lock you up as much as send waves of pain up through your low back.

Quadratus Lumborum:
This is the lower "backstrap" muscle that is fairly easy to feel out. It is shaped like a triangle and bears a lot of weight. These knots are big and really sensitive to touch. A large bundle of nerves pass through here with little structural support.

Hamstrings:
These can get a lot tighter than people allow for. That's what they're supposed to do, but when you sit a lot it gets out of control. This is group of three muscles that easily meld together in one assfucking conglomeration of fucksauce. They pull your hips down and back, which is less than good.

When you have the kind of backpain that will not go away it is often all of these working together.

*

Where does all this come from?

Largely, your hips. You don't feel the pain in your hips because your hips are awesome.

The hips are the largest boney mass in your body, they are the center of gravity and movement. Your body takes its cues from the hips.

Because they are spacious they can shift weight and pressure around where weight and pressure are not strictly meant to go for quite some time. Years even.

What's more, after your hips can no longer bear the load, the weight and pressure can be shifted UP and DOWN. That feeling like your knees are in a vise, shoulder pain that seeps into the neck, this stuff is usually the result weight and pressure your hips can no longer bear.

Of course, this ignores specific injury and genetic issues. As for the former, that is most often due to either the unnatural weight the area is carrying + awkward movement + lack of exercise/stretching. As for the latter, you are usually fucked.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Telarus

Good stuff. Explains many of my and my girlfriend's 'muscle armor' trigger points (she's done some massage school). Thanks!
Telarus, KSC,
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Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

Salty

Yeah, it's mostly useless to work on knots that are bound up by fascia.

I can try and drum up a basic Myofascial How To.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Junkenstein

Posting to remind myself to read this properly. May have back related questions for you Alty.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Alty, the only consistent musculoskeletal pain I get besides TMJ issues when I eat too many hard crunchy things is a shooting pain in my left hip when I lie flat on a hard surface and then try to sit up or move my legs about. Any thoughts on what that might be? It started after a car accident when I was in my early teens.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Salty

Where in your left hip? MSPaint a figure maybe?
Which direction does it shoot?

Does it feel like stabbing or like fire?
Can you describe the auto injury/incident?

The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Salty

*NONE OF THE FOLLOWING IS MEANT AS MEDICAL ADVICE OR A SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL ADVICE. USE THIS INFO AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS IS THE MEANDERING MIND OF A MASSAGE PERSON WITH FEW QUALIFICATIONS. *

About Back Pain 2

What Do?

There are two broad catagories for low back pain.

1. The kind you can fix.
a. Common
This is the number one medical compain in the west. It is most likely due to lack of movement&exercise, office chairs, mattresses and cars.

Lack of movement&exercise
Walking is the default action of homo sapien. You are what you are because of your ability to walk long distances. Yet, most of us in the west walk very little. When is the last time you walked five miles without feeling like you were dying. Runnng is OK, but, and not to go all paleo on you, running is something you're mean to do in a state of emergency. Even long distance running. I find it symptomatic of a culture that has a contant demand for products and results from one's actions that we run so god damned much. Running feels good. It burns off a lot of adrenaline, which is nice. In moderation it is VERY good for you.

But walking every day prevents the buildup of all that stress before running is required, IMO. Plus, it does much less damage.

Either way, NOT walking a lot leads to a lack of maleability in your hips, which are meant to go in that 3D figure eight for miles and miles and miles.

Stretching. I like to say that stretching is a lot like brushing your teeth. You can get away with it not doing it for a long, long time, but when things go bad they go very bad, very fast.

Yoga is best. Not to knock the stretching regimens of the west, but...actually no. They are shit. They target large muscle groups and treat muscles like they are two dimensional object instead of very complicated, multifascteted pressure distribution system components. Yogis figured that shit out thousands of years ago, and though it's fallacious to equate history with accuracy, in this case it is true. Yoga is your friend.

In my opinion, if you suffer from low back pain, you have something like a 90% chance that yoga is going to help it. But you have o use the right poses.

Walking and yoga, walking and yoga, WALKING AND MOTHERFUCKING YOGA.

These two work your hips, back, and body GENERALLY. Which is very, very important. You cannot spot treat common back pain.
b.Uncommon




2. The kind you cannot.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel



It's stabby in the pointy direction. A cab T-boned our pickup truck and I had pain in my hip when walking for a while.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Oh and then a few years later I got hit by a car from behind on my bike and smashed my left knee up pretty good, had to wear a brace for 3 months-ish. Hip problem went away after giving birth all three times but came back a year or two later.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Salty

It is, of course, difficult to say from here. But my best guess is your piriformis, or a muscle in the same area on that side, grew shorter as a whole. Not overall, but just where it counts when you go through the described motion.

That is a bit tricky, especially since it happened some years ago.

The fascia is probably bound up, and it's really deep and hard to get to with fascia work, but the muscle itself is likely shorter than it needs to be to avoid the pain. You are actually probably very, very lucky it didn't shorten in such a way that it constantly clamps down on your sciatic nerve. But since it's stabbing pain as oppose to fire or broken glass, that's not it.

It may also be the muscle hasn't shortened as a whole, but has an adhesion toward the end. Also difficult to get at. To undo adhesion or "trigger points" you have to either:

A: Put it through the very, very particular process of:
HEAT
DIRECT PRESSURE
MOVEMENT
in that order, over a period of time until it lets go.

B: Have it injected with whatever doctors inject into trigger points, and stretch it. Finding a doctor who can and will do this may be difficult, but some do. As long as they think highly of Dr. Janet Travell, and they should, all of them should, the bastards, you're in luck.

If the muscle is shortened as a whole your best bet is to find a very skilled physical therapist, that's their bread and butter, unless they're a John Barnes acolyte.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Hmmmm thanks!

I will probably keep on ignoring it, because I doubt my insurance will pay for any of that.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."