Author Topic: Tell me about your job  (Read 10774 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #45 on: February 03, 2014, 04:03:56 pm »
"Weak 3rd quarter" in the oil and gas sector seems to mean "Shit blew up". The severity of the language indicates how many people were injured. This also seems to apply to other industries.

It certainly does here.   :lulz:
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Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #46 on: February 03, 2014, 04:11:50 pm »
Damn.
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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #47 on: February 04, 2014, 02:14:24 am »
When we strange monkeys decide to enjoy some of these fine, fine psychedelic drugs, there's five obvious first choices dependent mostly on availability and the stories we've heard about them and how much of a fucking chicken we are: cannabis, Psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, mescaline, and salvia. Most of us strange monkeys end up doing the first -- pot, that is. When we do, most of the times we have one of the five typical reactions to it, depending on the strain of weed we used, our emotions and thoughts at the time, our surroundings, and the dosage we went after, knowingly or unknowingly: "this shit isn't working at all", "this shit isn't that much fun, to be honest, but I like those YouTube videos you're putting on", "wow, this shit is sort of fun, I mean, why is this lampshade so funny and red and elephants?", "this shit is way more fun than I thought, I can't stop laughing at that lampshade, it's... elephants!", and "DRIED BREAD WITH MUSTARD IS THE MOST AMAZING FOOD KNOWN TO MAN!".

I'm on the dried bread with mustard part and looking forward to experimenting some more with all of the others at the moment, since it sounds like an interesting thing to do -- this is my first day/night off work, which was editing, laying-out, re-editing and re-laying-out content for magazines, newspapers and websites. I've known for a month now that I'd be leaving that mostly stressful, at times fun and rarely rewarding nuthouse, since my employers suggested -or rather, demanded- a salary cut of 3/5 off of what I was being payed so far, which was plenty enough to pay for rent and bills and buy bread and mustard for me to last a month, but not worth much more money than that. Luckily, friends do bring me interesting psychedelic drugs, and I saw some rocks on my way home that could be tasty, given some time experimenting with more powerful substances, a butane lighter and lots of distorted perception of time.

Strange thing is: I did like my job, and I still do like my employers, despite all our differences which weren't little or small. Greece ins't really working as a set, at the moment; we're all just wandering around trying to find ourselves a purpose.

-S
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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #48 on: February 04, 2014, 03:37:23 pm »
 :lulz: Ah, the joys of posting while high.
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The Johnny

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #49 on: February 04, 2014, 03:42:28 pm »

I live and breathe qualitative analysis of discourse of schizophrenics while trying to not go insane.

Im not sure how that last part is working out though  :fnord:
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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #50 on: April 03, 2014, 12:18:07 am »
I work for The Man. 

Yeah, That man right over there.

Is he watching?

Turns out that not only do you work for The Man, you also compile a database of pot legalization "violations" in Colorado.  Bravo, asshole.
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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #51 on: April 03, 2014, 01:19:26 am »
I work in a bank which is more bureaucratic than a Vogon tax collector convention, so I have about a dozen titles depending on which internal department is requisitioning my assistance. My favorite of the titles, just for general length and inability to easily articulate, is "Senior Merchant and Client Review Specialist." I basically perform audits on merchant practices for all merchant institutions utilizing our credit products. If I find deceptive or fraudulent practices going on I unleash financial hellfire of biblical proportions upon the offenders via account termination, seizure of funds and property, calling their mommas fat, and other time-honored banking practices.

My favorite part of the job is being able to exercise the aforementioned powers, because anyone who defrauds, cheats and steals from people, especially their customers who trust them, deserves a bit of wrath. In day-to-day interactions I tend to be pretty mellow and polite, so it's also cool being able to play the part of an officious hard-ass when I get to deliver the verdict. Balances out the personality, it does.

My least favorite part of the job is the monotony. For every 1 honest-to-Cthulu DOO (Deceptive Owner/Operator) that I find, I usually wade through about 300 accounts that are perfectly upstanding. The sales draft forms, demographic reports, law enforcement summaries and financial statement review drafts blend together into a never-ending parade of black and white ink that makes you want to give the middle finger to society and go farm avocados wherever avocados are farmed.
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The Johnny

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #52 on: April 03, 2014, 01:26:00 am »
I work in a bank which is more bureaucratic than a Vogon tax collector convention, so I have about a dozen titles depending on which internal department is requisitioning my assistance. My favorite of the titles, just for general length and inability to easily articulate, is "Senior Merchant and Client Review Specialist." I basically perform audits on merchant practices for all merchant institutions utilizing our credit products. If I find deceptive or fraudulent practices going on I unleash financial hellfire of biblical proportions upon the offenders via account termination, seizure of funds and property, calling their mommas fat, and other time-honored banking practices.

My favorite part of the job is being able to exercise the aforementioned powers, because anyone who defrauds, cheats and steals from people, especially their customers who trust them, deserves a bit of wrath. In day-to-day interactions I tend to be pretty mellow and polite, so it's also cool being able to play the part of an officious hard-ass when I get to deliver the verdict. Balances out the personality, it does.

My least favorite part of the job is the monotony. For every 1 honest-to-Cthulu DOO (Deceptive Owner/Operator) that I find, I usually wade through about 300 accounts that are perfectly upstanding. The sales draft forms, demographic reports, law enforcement summaries and financial statement review drafts blend together into a never-ending parade of black and white ink that makes you want to give the middle finger to society and go farm avocados wherever avocados are farmed.

Not avocado farms in Mexico though, they controlled by drug lords (also lemons).  :fnord:
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #53 on: April 03, 2014, 02:05:36 am »
Controlled by drug lords and lemons.

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #54 on: April 03, 2014, 02:08:50 am »
Or drug lords who are lemons.  Like this guy:


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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #55 on: April 03, 2014, 07:48:32 am »
 :lulz:
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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #56 on: April 03, 2014, 02:48:09 pm »

I live and breathe qualitative analysis of discourse of schizophrenics while trying to not go insane.

Im not sure how that last part is working out though  :fnord:

Oh my, wow. :eek:

I mean, analyzing their speech patterns is certainly bound to be useful, but fuuuuck.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #57 on: April 03, 2014, 03:14:32 pm »

I live and breathe qualitative analysis of discourse of schizophrenics while trying to not go insane.

Im not sure how that last part is working out though  :fnord:

Oh my, wow. :eek:

I mean, analyzing their speech patterns is certainly bound to be useful, but fuuuuck.

Missed that. Johnny, if you can/want to go into more detail there, I know I'd be interested to read it.
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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #58 on: April 03, 2014, 04:10:12 pm »
My job is to get as much money as I can by doing as little as possible. This only seems to work if my employer also makes as much money as possible as a direct result of my laziness.

This is why I work with computer systems. They're designed for exactly this purpose.
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The Johnny

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Re: Tell me about your job
« Reply #59 on: April 04, 2014, 12:24:17 am »

I live and breathe qualitative analysis of discourse of schizophrenics while trying to not go insane.

Im not sure how that last part is working out though  :fnord:

Oh my, wow. :eek:

I mean, analyzing their speech patterns is certainly bound to be useful, but fuuuuck.

@Nigels: Idk if its language barrier thing, but i have doubts that "analyzing speech patterns" is the same as "qualitative analysis of discourse"... so i looked in the web for "speech pattern" and an article of "how to spot psychopaths: speech patterns blah blah..." came up, so im going to copy paste the methodology parts to make a comparison:

...

The researchers interviewed 52 convicted murderers, 14 of them ranked as psychopaths according to the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, a 20-item assessment, and asked them to describe their crimes in detail. Using computer programs to analyze what the men said, the researchers found that those with psychopathic scores showed a lack of emotion, spoke in terms of cause-and-effect when describing their crimes, and focused their attention on basic needs, such as food, drink and money.

Well, i will use a computer program, but thats 2nd step (and used as support, i could do it by hand), and it doesnt do any analyzing... i mark fragments by my own analytical categories, and the program just dumps upon request whatever markings i already from a specific category (f.e. discrimination or biography or delusion, etc.)

"Lack of emotion" is a qualitative condition, i dont see how a computer would show that... "cause-and-effect" is algo qualitative... focus on basic needs is also qualitative.

So, so far the automated and quantitative parts are not spoken about, and they probably are doing the same thing as I'm doing.

Quote
While we all have conscious control over some words we use, particularly nouns and verbs, this is not the case for the majority of the words we use, including little, functional words like "to" and "the" or the tense we use for our verbs, according to Jeffrey Hancock, the lead researcher and an associate professor in communications at Cornell University, who discussed the work on Monday (Oct. 17) in Midtown Manhattan at Cornell's ILR Conference Center.

Now, this part sounds more automated, the counting of use of "functional words" which i dont do at all and is quite quantitative... this is a first divergence.

Quote
How words give them away

To examine the emotional content of the murderers' speech, Hancock and his colleagues looked at a number of factors, including how frequently they described their crimes using the past tense. The use of the past tense can be an indicator of psychological detachment, and the researchers found that the psychopaths used it more than the present tense when compared with the nonpsychopaths. They also found more dysfluencies — the "uhs" and "ums" that interrupt speech — among psychopaths. Nearly universal in speech, dysfluencies indicate that the speaker needs some time to think about what they are saying.

With regard to psychopaths, "We think the 'uhs' and 'ums' are about putting the mask of sanity on," Hancock told LiveScience.

Psychopaths appear to view the world and others instrumentally, as theirs for the taking, the team, which also included Stephen Porter from the University of British Columbia, wrote.

As they expected, the psychopaths' language contained more words known as subordinating conjunctions. These words, including "because" and "so that," are associated with cause-and-effect statements.

"This pattern suggested that psychopaths were more likely to view the crime as the logical outcome of a plan (something that 'had' to be done to achieve a goal)," the authors write.

And finally, while most of us respond to higher-level needs, such as family, religion or spirituality, and self-esteem, psychopaths remain occupied with those needs associated with a more basic existence.

Frequency... frequency of a phrase or word i do also take into account, but our timelines are of entire years, while for the psychopaths its done in i suppose at most 3 sessions...

Use of "subordinating conjunctions"... thats totally automated and quantitative, as ive said, i dont count or analyze, im more focused on content rather than "language sequences".

Quote
Their analysis revealed that psychopaths used about twice as many words related to basic physiological needs and self-preservation, including eating, drinking and monetary resources than the nonpsychopaths, they write.

By comparison, the nonpsychopathic murderers talked more about spirituality and religion and family, reflecting what nonpsychopathic people would think about when they just committed a murder, Hancock said.

The researchers are interested in analyzing what people write on Facebook or in other social media, since our unconscious mind also holds sway over what we write. By analyzing stories written by students from Cornell and the University of British Columbia, and looking at how the text people generate using social media relates to scores on the Self-Report Psychopathy scale. Unlike the checklist, which is based on an extensive review of the case file and an interview, the self report is completed by the person in question.

This sort of tool could be very useful for law enforcement investigations, such as in the case of the Long Island serial killer, who is being sought for the murders of at least four prostitutes and possibly others, since this killer used the online classified site Craigslist to contact victims, according to Hancock.     

Text analysis software could be used to conduct a "first pass," focusing the work for human investigators, he said. "A lot of time analysts tell you they feel they are drinking from a fire hose."

Knowing a suspect is a psychopath can affect how law enforcement conducts investigations and interrogations, Hancock said.

And this last part i just left in because its interesting, not any point attached to it.

So with this basic and general differentiations with what i do and speech patterns, i can go more into detail as to what i actually do.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner