Just Another Sucker on the Vine

[The Good Reverend Roger]

We've all been there, Alty. All of us.

This was an article that was sent to me a few years back,  I think by Telarus actually. Not saying you should, you know, convert to Hinduism or some shit, but it's a good read.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/06/why-being-broken-in-a-pile-on-your-bedroom-floor-is-a-good-idea-julie-jc-peters/

Agreed. Good read. Surprisingly Woo-less.

It really was. Thanks for that. Definitely inljne with where my head is at. I dig Hindusim, it is so mutifasceted and complex.

I get hung up on the caste system.

[P3nT4gR4m]

We've all been there, Alty. All of us.

This was an article that was sent to me a few years back,  I think by Telarus actually. Not saying you should, you know, convert to Hinduism or some shit, but it's a good read.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/06/why-being-broken-in-a-pile-on-your-bedroom-floor-is-a-good-idea-julie-jc-peters/

Agreed. Good read. Surprisingly Woo-less.

It really was. Thanks for that. Definitely inljne with where my head is at. I dig Hindusim, it is so mutifasceted and complex.

I get hung up on the caste system.

Babies and bathwater. Most civilisations have their retarded aspects.

[Salty]

 Yeah, I put that to humans just being control freaks and getting theirs.

Plus, if I understand correctly, the formation of Hindusim coincided with the Aryan control of the area. As they had light skin it would make sense they would create a syetem ensuring a proper distribution of wealth.

Moses did as much with his five books. And that still does not cancel the validity of the good aspects of Judaism or Christianity.

Judaism is also interesting to me in that regard. The Laws are fascinating because they bascially insert the concept of god in  EVERYTHING. Which shoe do you put on first? Check the book.

None of these are ways I would like to live, though. 

[Left]

Ah, finally, there it is.

I do apologize for bleeding emo whining onto the board. You freaks are my most solid social connection, so you will have to suffer the occasional outburts when I am low. I feel I contribute enough otherwise to warrant and bit of leeway.

It is worth it. For me anyway.

It all comes down to this precise moment. Right here and now, I can finally feel freedom again.

You see, it's easy to see life as a game in which YOU, the player, must acquire as many HAPPY points as you can. Surely, your primate brain desires those love combinations of chemicals that the rat's nest of your mind recognizes as HAPPY and, likey, GOODSOCIAL STANDING. When your mate bails, well, your primate brain feels quite a bit lowered in social standing.

There must be some reason, yeah?

Or perhaps some other awful thing happens to you. Granted, life is more than capable of throwing more awful your way than you are capable of dealing with. It is imprtant to remember that no matter how much bad, good, or HAPPY you have, this is always a distinct possibility.

Some THING could happen today, or tomorrow that wrecks you beyond repair. Or, at least, puts a deep dent in your self

It's best not to be arrogant about such things. You don't have to count yourself lucky, but it does not hurt to be grateful for the days in which you are merely miserable and not in a state of abject torture, humiliation, or similar.

And yet....I am often trapped in conversation with resolute optimists. They will often say something along the lines of:

"Well, you have to enjoy the HAPPY you get."

Yes. This is true. And why not?

HOWEVER, that is missing half of the very important equation. You will NOT be HAPPY all the time. In fact, even if you don't expexperience deep, abiding horror that rips your mind to tatters, there will be moment of such equisite, delicate, nuances PAIN. Internal, external, bloody, meaty. It will fill your whole being the same way the HAPPY comes flooding in.

Now, I am not saying anyone should actively persue such pain.

But, it will find you anyway. What to do about it?

I say, from the seat of My Discordia, relish it. Savor the power of that exquisite, profound pain. It is a part of being human. And intregal and core component that drives people to murder, art, conquest, suicide, insight, love, war, ingenuity, and so much more.

More to the point, it is a beautiful thing. The same way a gaping, magma-filled chasm is a beautiful thing. It will destroy your weakand frail body, mind, and soul....given the chance.

But if you can, for a moment, step back and just behold it without assigning meaning or purpose...you can witness something that no one else can understand. Or maybe they can, but they cannot see it the way that you do in that moment in time. That tiny speck of reality that you inhabit...would you forsake it? Would you forsake your one and only true birthright, the brutal truth of being a highly self aware mammal?

No matter how much I have hurt, do hurt, will hurt...

ever since I found Discordia, I can watch that hurt, in all its delicacy, and be amazed at the miracle that is my small and mostly useslless, and certainly soon to be forgotten existence.

Your pain, mine, all of ours, is something to behold, to hold, to cherish. Because it is a fascet of your life that cannot be undone, and should not be.

So, this night, as I come so close to the, and I am sorry if I oversuse the word but it is perfect, exquisiteness of my own pain, I can only smile, then laugh, safe and secure in the knowledge that I, while living, truly live. And there will never be another time quite like this.

Like art, cast forever into impermanence, beautiful for a moment. I feel, perhaps correctly, perhaps not, the winding gears of thing cosmos reflected in a relatively small batch of chemicals assaulting my brain.

And I cannot live with regret.

...

...'Scuse me, it suddenly got very dusty in here...

[Salty]

Damn, p3nt, that shit works better than reading or movies. Everytime I start to dip I apply that mantra and can feel my brain righting itself.

Much appreciated!

[Left]

My marriage was something I never wanted to end. I really tried hard to make it work.
Divorce is a shitfest, and I'm sorry you get to go through it too.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Damn, p3nt, that shit works better than reading or movies. Everytime I start to dip I apply that mantra and can feel my brain righting itself.

Much appreciated!

About 3/4's of my mind is hacks and cludges like that. Glad it helped! Religion covers a lot of the same bases but a lot of the western stuff strikes me as being very - let the all knowing overlord(s) take care of it for you. Same deal as - everything happens for a reason - from where I'm sitting. Don't knock it - the memes work but my personal tastes are more suited to ones that empower me, directly.