OPEN BAR: it rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sadly, it is most often a game of who can be a better contortionist.

People see yogis twisted up like a pretzel and think that is the ideal. Those guys spend their entire lives on that singular goal.

Yeah, that seems to be the goal of every yoga teacher I've tried.

I have broad shoulders, short, muscular arms and torso, and my legs are disproportionately long, making many of the positions awkward if not impossible. I also have really, really strong cartilage and am not especially flexible, but also almost never have injuries from spraining or hyperflexing anything. I rarely pull muscles (I can't remember ever pulling one as an adult, actually). I have always wondered why people seem to have such a fixation on "increasing flexibility" and will tell me that yoga will make me more flexible, as if that's something I obviously want. I don't understand why I am supposed to want that? Meanwhile I know a couple of people who are extremely flexible who are always spraining and dislocating things. It doesn't seem like an advantage, to me.

Now, what I have gotten out of it is that many of the positions have improved muscle tone in seldom-worked areas, and I am usually pretty relaxed afterward. It's not quite the euphoria I get from an hour of swimming, but it's pretty nice.

[Salty]

What you encounter 99% of the time here in America is not yoga of any kind. It is one of the worst kinds of cultural appropriations I refer to as Super Fit Yoga.

A pox on them all.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well, luckily I only have a few more weeks of it.

I do like what it's done to my ass and waistline, but, again, the pool is even better for that, and I love the way swimming opens up my shoulders.

I am procrastinating heading to the library to study. I have to write up another peer review and finish my fast plants worksheet II and apply for graduation and fill out an extra-credit worksheet. I don't wanna.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I like how some members of the TDS14 already have me down as an authoritarian disallowing innovation.

I don't even have time for such a project, I'm just gathering opinions, which many seem unable to provide.

Well, to them, "innovation" doesn't seem to involve "doing something".

[LMNO]

You mean they're Libertarians?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You mean they're Libertarians?

I think they think they are required to be, because they've read Illuminatus and they - as always - missed the really important part (ie, that Hagbard chose to appear as a libertarian because it was the opposite belief to that of the main character).

Fanboys are fanboys.

[East Coast Hustle]

So I'm probably booking my ticket to Maine tomorrow morning. Apparently the possibility of me coming back to helm the kitchen there has set the town rumor mill ablaze, so I'm planning on having my boss tell everyone in town that the negotiations fell through and then showing up on April 1st.

[East Coast Hustle]

I feel like I just won the world's longest-ever holdout for a raise.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Congrats ECH! I like your plan. Guaranteed hilarity.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

There are three different kinds of helicopters circling overhead. I may not have much time so I just wanted you all to know . . .

If I disappear . . . if all of Georgia to the North of Atlanta disappears, just know I regret none of the times I started babbling about aliens and their FBI stooges when the phone rang at work and no one was on the other end. I just figured the NSA needed some lulz, you know? And all the times I whispered terrorist buzzwords into my cellphone before going to bed at night was just a lark.

I didn't know it would end up like this. I didn't know this would turn into some sort of 'Welcome to Nightvale' episode with different organizations defined by the colors of helicopters circling overhead, endlessly droning around and around.

It was just for fun. Just for a laugh.

But there's someone knocking in the door right now and it can't be the religion peddlers because it's after dark and religion peddlers are afraid of the dark.

The helicopters are coming closer. It's almost like they're going to land on my roof.

I wonder if it's too late for a knock-knock joke.

[Suu]

Wedding ring shopping is weird when you have a weird engagement ring. I didn't seem to care as much around the first time, and bought titanium bands dirt cheap, but this time I actually want something a bit nice with a touch of sparkle. I have a small business jeweler I found on Etsy that's going to hook me up if one of her designs fit. I had to send her a mold of my ring. This is such a disgusting first world problem.

[Suu]

WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS KILLED THE FORUM?

[Cain]

Monad, along with a crack team of elite retards, AKK, evil_daruk0, DeadKennedy, the Lamanite and Poptart are DDoSing the forums, in order to Show Us All.

I thought it was obvious.

[Suu]

They're awesome, those guys.

[Eater of Clowns]

My cousin just messaged me on facebook after I shared today's xkcd to tell me that she and her sisters used to babysit Randall Munroe when he was a kid. Apparently he lived in my memere's neighborhood. Funny, that.