OPEN BAR: it rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again

[Suu]

Officially made SuuEx^TM brand Face Lube. Lip Spackle for the Smart Mouth.

I never knew making lip balm could be fun, easy, and a pain in the ass at the same time. Seriously, it took me 3 tries to get a texture I liked, and it still a bit TOO solid. Hence: Lip spackle. However, I know what goes into it, I put it there myself. Now I have 9 jars to go through before I try again. 

It is a pain in the ass. But easy. And fun. I started making my own because I have skin reactions to almost all lip balms that make my skin slough off, and my method is as follows:

1. Put some olive oil in a clean dry yogurt cup.
2. Add some beeswax
3. Microwave until liquid
4. Stir
5. Pour into tubes and let harden

I think my method could be vastly improved by doing steps 1 and 2 on a scale so as to achieve a consistent olive oil/beeswax ratio, but nooooooo I always just wing it, which means that sometimes I have 100 tubes of soft oily lip balm, and sometimes I have 100 tubes of hard waxy lip balm. Someday, I'll wise the fuck up and use a scale.

I discovered that the more "addictive" balms on the market are really dangerous. I kicked Carmex about 10 years ago because of the Salicylic Acid, and I was using that since I was 14. I started on Blistex Lip Medex and I've been hooked ever since. I couldn't find it a few weeks ago up here in NH, so I bought EOS, which is all natural and remarkably nice, but expensive. So I was using it for a couple of weeks, saw they made an medicated brand and got it....DON'T. It's full of phenol, which I discovered is what makes the others so addicting, because it dries your lips on contact. Without the minty menthol feeling of the Blistex and all the cocoa butter and lanolin that goes into it, I didn't feel it. On the EOS I did, and it was painful. So I vowed since then to not use anything with phenol and petrolatum in them, which is hard. Stuck on EOS, and somebody suggested I make my own.

It's too thick, but it stayed on my lips all night. They're soft and completely unirritated by anything the mass market could sneak in. I'm sold. I just need to tweak the recipe now to make it a bit softer. Probably less beeswax.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I could care less, there's just no good sliced sausage round here and the things they call "Potato Scones" are a horrible joke. 

Potato Scones

Potato Scones

Potato Scones

[Suu]

I could care less, there's just no good sliced sausage round here and the things they call "Potato Scones" are a horrible joke. 

Potato Scones

Potato Scones

Potato Scones

There needs to be some sort of fucking intervention of British Isle cuisine, damnit.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Potato scones, black pudding, square sausage, links, bacon and eggs. If you want to get posh, fried tomatoes. That is breakfast. Any other arrangement of molecules is not breakfast.

(Fried bread optional)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Going to go scream at a vendor for an hour or so.

When I get back, I'll be adding to the Kitty Parson story.

[LMNO]

I really need to get more sleep.

Especially on Thursday nights, when I know I've got a lot ahead of me on Friday.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Officially made SuuEx^TM brand Face Lube. Lip Spackle for the Smart Mouth.

I never knew making lip balm could be fun, easy, and a pain in the ass at the same time. Seriously, it took me 3 tries to get a texture I liked, and it still a bit TOO solid. Hence: Lip spackle. However, I know what goes into it, I put it there myself. Now I have 9 jars to go through before I try again. 

It is a pain in the ass. But easy. And fun. I started making my own because I have skin reactions to almost all lip balms that make my skin slough off, and my method is as follows:

1. Put some olive oil in a clean dry yogurt cup.
2. Add some beeswax
3. Microwave until liquid
4. Stir
5. Pour into tubes and let harden

I think my method could be vastly improved by doing steps 1 and 2 on a scale so as to achieve a consistent olive oil/beeswax ratio, but nooooooo I always just wing it, which means that sometimes I have 100 tubes of soft oily lip balm, and sometimes I have 100 tubes of hard waxy lip balm. Someday, I'll wise the fuck up and use a scale.

I discovered that the more "addictive" balms on the market are really dangerous. I kicked Carmex about 10 years ago because of the Salicylic Acid, and I was using that since I was 14. I started on Blistex Lip Medex and I've been hooked ever since. I couldn't find it a few weeks ago up here in NH, so I bought EOS, which is all natural and remarkably nice, but expensive. So I was using it for a couple of weeks, saw they made an medicated brand and got it....DON'T. It's full of phenol, which I discovered is what makes the others so addicting, because it dries your lips on contact. Without the minty menthol feeling of the Blistex and all the cocoa butter and lanolin that goes into it, I didn't feel it. On the EOS I did, and it was painful. So I vowed since then to not use anything with phenol and petrolatum in them, which is hard. Stuck on EOS, and somebody suggested I make my own.

It's too thick, but it stayed on my lips all night. They're soft and completely unirritated by anything the mass market could sneak in. I'm sold. I just need to tweak the recipe now to make it a bit softer. Probably less beeswax.

There's pretty much zero danger of me buying anything other than cherry Chapstick, which is about the only mass-market lip balm I'm not horrifically allergic to, because it's just oil, wax, and an apparently innocuous flavoring. Even your homemade stuff would fuck my lips right up because it contains vitamin E oil, which when used topically makes my skin fall off.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I really need to get more sleep.

Especially on Thursday nights, when I know I've got a lot ahead of me on Friday.

You mean, THE GAY BAR?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Going to go scream at a vendor for an hour or so.

When I get back, I'll be adding to the Kitty Parson story.

Woohoo!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There's this funny thing about finals, which is that I swear people actually come out of the woodwork to demand attention. I have actually had THREE different people I almost never hear from message me with "We need to hang out soon!" (one of them was like "time to meet halfway!" and I'm like, "Sure, if you want to pay for my car to have a tune-up and pass DEQ so I can get current tags!") plus a lady from a bead magazine wants me to make a tutorial by the 15th. LOLOLOLOLOL

Basically I feel like the world goes "Oh, you have things that urgently need your directed time and energy for a couple of weeks? PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE MEEEE MEEEE MEEEEE LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEE".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also I don't know how to tell these glass people that I am not interested in their shit anymore.

[trippinprincezz13]

Damn, a campstove that has USB ports?

We didn't have those when I was in the Scouts, that's for sure.

Hell yeah. It seems to run of small twigs and pine cones and pretty much anything that burns. The reviews seem pretty solid, for the most part. Beats carrying around propane. One of the reviews claimed 15% charge per meal.

That is really cool. Wish listed for when I have money to spend on things again

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also I don't know how to tell these glass people that I am not interested in their shit anymore.

DEAR GLASS PEOPLE:

The Bead Wife has changed careers.  Her new career depends on her devoting herself 100% to her education.  As such, she has no time for writing tutorials...And even if she did, the idea of a deadline is laughable unless she is being paid to create said tutorial.  The very fact that you believe that putting a deadline on any part of her life without a prior agreement and compensation indicates that to you, she is a resource and not a person.  This being the case, I would respectfully suggest that you "find anotha sucka", as the kids say these days.

For I am a worldly man, and me and the kids are "tight like that".

However, you and The Bead Wife are NOT "tight like that", and your behavior is offensive as hell.  If you want a tutorial, YOU go write it.  As for The Bead Wife, she's busy and doesn't need your shit.

Venomously Yours,
The Good Reverend Roger
acting in the capacity of The Bead Wife's Spiritual Advisor

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Also I don't know how to tell these glass people that I am not interested in their shit anymore.

DEAR GLASS PEOPLE:

The Bead Wife has changed careers.  Her new career depends on her devoting herself 100% to her education.  As such, she has no time for writing tutorials...And even if she did, the idea of a deadline is laughable unless she is being paid to create said tutorial.  The very fact that you believe that putting a deadline on any part of her life without a prior agreement and compensation indicates that to you, she is a resource and not a person.  This being the case, I would respectfully suggest that you "find anotha sucka", as the kids say these days.

For I am a worldly man, and me and the kids are "tight like that".

However, you and The Bead Wife are NOT "tight like that", and your behavior is offensive as hell.  If you want a tutorial, YOU go write it.  As for The Bead Wife, she's busy and doesn't need your shit.

Venomously Yours,
The Good Reverend Roger
acting in the capacity of The Bead Wife's Spiritual Advisor

PREACH!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also I don't know how to tell these glass people that I am not interested in their shit anymore.

DEAR GLASS PEOPLE:

The Bead Wife has changed careers.  Her new career depends on her devoting herself 100% to her education.  As such, she has no time for writing tutorials...And even if she did, the idea of a deadline is laughable unless she is being paid to create said tutorial.  The very fact that you believe that putting a deadline on any part of her life without a prior agreement and compensation indicates that to you, she is a resource and not a person.  This being the case, I would respectfully suggest that you "find anotha sucka", as the kids say these days.

For I am a worldly man, and me and the kids are "tight like that".

However, you and The Bead Wife are NOT "tight like that", and your behavior is offensive as hell.  If you want a tutorial, YOU go write it.  As for The Bead Wife, she's busy and doesn't need your shit.

Venomously Yours,
The Good Reverend Roger
acting in the capacity of The Bead Wife's Spiritual Advisor