Stupid Bar Shit

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Here is where I will unload my stupid happenings of day.
Enjoy knowing what it's like to work in the world of the drunk and stupid.


New distributor pulls truck up to front of building and starts walking to the door. I open the door and yell
Me: City Bev?
Driver: Yeah
Me: go ahead and bring that around back. All deliveries go through the back.
Driver: Yeah I was gonna bring it around back
He then proceeds to unload his truck and load his dolly with multiple kegs and cases of cider. I watch, confused. A while later he comes through the back door through the kitchen (mind you it's quite a haul all the way around to the back of the building). Guy is pouring sweat and I whisper
"I meant the truck too"
Driver: oh. yeah that would have been easier


Bartender: my vagina hurts
Me: WUT
Bartender: my uh... my birth canal
Me: the hell did you do to... no. never mind.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

There's a homeless guy shuffling outside after hours near the door

Server: um, there's a guy out there, I don't know what he wants...
Me: ok, go finish cleaning

Me: do you need something?
Guy slurring: can I have a glass of water?
Me: sorry we're closed and I'm not opening my door (it's a bad neighborhood)
Guy: I came in earlier and ordered a $25 burger and it made me sick
Me: Impossible. Go away, we're closed!
Guy: Are you German?
The fuck kind of question is that???
Me: Yes. Now scram!
Shuffles off

[Reginald Ret]

That sucks and is hilarious at the same time.

[Cain]

Is this still the furry bar?

[Suu]

This is pretty standard for anyone who's ever worked in food/bar service. 

I miss those days.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  Working with the public is THEEE BEST!

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Is this still the furry bar?

We're not a furry bar, but they come in every Tuesday night and spend money.
So I'm not complaining.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Working with the public is THEEE BEST!

Dude, some of the shit people say and do.
Unbelievable.

Guy: I'm stealing this glass
Me: If you're gonna cost me money to drink here, you won't be welcomed back.
Guy: Are you gonna stop me?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?
Snatches glass from him
Me: Here's your tab. Thieves are scummy.
Guy: Oh. I didn't realize
Me: That stealing is wrong? Really???
tail between legs


I also love when we get special things like Cantillon and people go nuts over it and start calling as soon as we post about it, to buy it over the phone. We open at 4 guys, it'll still be here, I promise.
Cantillon is really good though.

[Cain]

Is this still the furry bar?

We're not a furry bar, but they come in every Tuesday night and spend money.
So I'm not complaining.

Sorry, but 14.28% furry is too much furry.  You are now the proud owner of a furry bar.

[East Coast Hustle]

A furry bar in FLORIDA.

Imagine what THAT smells like by around 11pm tuesday night.

[East Coast Hustle]

I think :lulzvom: needs to be a thing.

[Suu]

Is this still the furry bar?

We're not a furry bar, but they come in every Tuesday night and spend money.
So I'm not complaining.

I should try to come in next month with my sister on an Tuesday night.  We will totally drive 4 hours round trip for a beer (and those motherfucking wings) and furries.

[LMNO]

Plus, isn't a four-hour drive in FL considered "just down the road"?

[East Coast Hustle]

I think it's considered "Miami to Hialeah during rush hour".

[Suu]

Plus, isn't a four-hour drive in FL considered "just down the road"?

Troof. We day trip to Cocoa and back all the time to see my godparents. Also daytripped Miami. The Panhandle? Not as close.