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Stupid Bar Shit

Started by Sir Squid Diddimus, February 13, 2014, 05:07:25 AM

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Sir Squid Diddimus

Here is where I will unload my stupid happenings of day.
Enjoy knowing what it's like to work in the world of the drunk and stupid.


New distributor pulls truck up to front of building and starts walking to the door. I open the door and yell
Me: City Bev?
Driver: Yeah
Me: go ahead and bring that around back. All deliveries go through the back.
Driver: Yeah I was gonna bring it around back
He then proceeds to unload his truck and load his dolly with multiple kegs and cases of cider. I watch, confused. A while later he comes through the back door through the kitchen (mind you it's quite a haul all the way around to the back of the building). Guy is pouring sweat and I whisper
"I meant the truck too"
Driver: oh. yeah that would have been easier


Bartender: my vagina hurts
Me: WUT
Bartender: my uh... my birth canal
Me: the hell did you do to... no. never mind.

Sir Squid Diddimus

There's a homeless guy shuffling outside after hours near the door

Server: um, there's a guy out there, I don't know what he wants...
Me: ok, go finish cleaning

Me: do you need something?
Guy slurring: can I have a glass of water?
Me: sorry we're closed and I'm not opening my door (it's a bad neighborhood)
Guy: I came in earlier and ordered a $25 burger and it made me sick
Me: Impossible. Go away, we're closed!
Guy: Are you German?
The fuck kind of question is that???
Me: Yes. Now scram!
Shuffles off

Reginald Ret

That sucks and is hilarious at the same time.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

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Cain

Is this still the furry bar?

Suu

This is pretty standard for anyone who's ever worked in food/bar service.  :lulz:

I miss those days.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

 :lulz: Working with the public is THEEE BEST!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Sir Squid Diddimus

Quote from: Cain on February 13, 2014, 12:07:14 PM
Is this still the furry bar?

We're not a furry bar, but they come in every Tuesday night and spend money.
So I'm not complaining.

Sir Squid Diddimus

Quote from: Nigel's Red Volvulus Skin Sacs on February 13, 2014, 06:01:05 PM
:lulz: Working with the public is THEEE BEST!

Dude, some of the shit people say and do.
Unbelievable.

Guy: I'm stealing this glass
Me: If you're gonna cost me money to drink here, you won't be welcomed back.
Guy: Are you gonna stop me?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?
Snatches glass from him
Me: Here's your tab. Thieves are scummy.
Guy: Oh. I didn't realize
Me: That stealing is wrong? Really???
tail between legs


I also love when we get special things like Cantillon and people go nuts over it and start calling as soon as we post about it, to buy it over the phone. We open at 4 guys, it'll still be here, I promise.
Cantillon is really good though.

Cain

Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 13, 2014, 06:16:35 PM
Quote from: Cain on February 13, 2014, 12:07:14 PM
Is this still the furry bar?

We're not a furry bar, but they come in every Tuesday night and spend money.
So I'm not complaining.

Sorry, but 14.28% furry is too much furry.  You are now the proud owner of a furry bar.

East Coast Hustle

A furry bar in FLORIDA.

Imagine what THAT smells like by around 11pm tuesday night.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

I think :lulzvom: needs to be a thing.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Suu

Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 13, 2014, 06:16:35 PM
Quote from: Cain on February 13, 2014, 12:07:14 PM
Is this still the furry bar?

We're not a furry bar, but they come in every Tuesday night and spend money.
So I'm not complaining.

I should try to come in next month with my sister on an Tuesday night.  :lulz: We will totally drive 4 hours round trip for a beer (and those motherfucking wings) and furries.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

LMNO

Plus, isn't a four-hour drive in FL considered "just down the road"?

East Coast Hustle

I think it's considered "Miami to Hialeah during rush hour". :lulz:
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Suu

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 13, 2014, 09:47:43 PM
Plus, isn't a four-hour drive in FL considered "just down the road"?

Troof. We day trip to Cocoa and back all the time to see my godparents. Also daytripped Miami. The Panhandle? Not as close.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."