It's STILL Better Than Not Enough

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You see a lot of confused people out there, brothers & sisters.  You hear people say "The government's listening to my phone calls.  They're autotuning country music.  I GOT FETA CHEESE ON MY PIZZA!  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?"

Well, I am here to tell you what's going on.

The government IS listening to your phone calls...And though you aren't important enough for them to listen to you, they're doing it ANYWAY.  You're paranoid, but you aren't paranoid enough.  Somewhere, some 3rd rate pervert is listening to your cell phone, the sort of person that would be in JAIL if he hadn't found a way to make his perversions bring in a paycheck.  J Edgar Hoover is weeping tears of joy somewhere in hell.  What kind of people want a job listening to other peoples' phone calls?  What kind of people get off reading other peoples' emails? 

And you pay for it.  That's the funniest part.  They're spanking it to the racy phone call you made to your significant other, and YOU'RE SIGNING THE CHEQUE.

HAW HAW!

The situation with autotune country music is fairly similar.  They are pumping out the "country" version of Rebecca Black or Justin Beiber, because YOU'LL PAY FOR IT.  If the albums didn't sell, they wouldn't be down on Music Row, getting winos and wannabes to sign on the dotted line.  All that is required to be a country star these days is to have decent biceps, 5 days of growth on your face, and a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off.  Because that's what YOU will pay GOOD MONEY for.

HO HO HO!

The flip side of this is the feta cheese/sushi/kimchi pizza.  Yeah, if nobody BOUGHT it, they wouldn't SELL it...BUT:  Unlike country music, what you have here is people making something NEW, something other than the same old fucking pizza we've been eating for 3 generations.  How many tomato sauce & dead pig pizzas were you after, exactly?  You're trying something NEW, not the same old shit, and THAT is the difference.  And if it's "trendy", who gives a fuck?  Not me, brother...I'm stuffing my face with pizza that not only isn't BORING, it's almost even kinda GOOD FOR ME.

And if that makes you wrinkle your nose, then you just shove that snout back in the Dominos Feed Bag™ and enjoy your 4 cheese/5 kinds of dead pig/party cut heart attack American Standard.  Fuck you and the 30-minute-delivery-or-it's-free horse that pizza rode in on.

You'll put up with anything, won't you?  Perverts in the NSA, micro-Nazis in the airports, cops just randomly shooting people, crappy autotuned country music, crappy pizza, macrobrewed American "beer", all that shit.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but YOU'RE ALREADY THERE!  And you PAY the demons to do all this horrible shit to you!  WHY?  What the hell is WRONG with our society?  What kind of SICKNESS would cause otherwise rational people to run out and BUY their own BUTT RAPE?

WHO ORDERED THIS?

Well...I guess that would be you and me, wouldn't it?  And I don't know about you, but I'm getting just a little sick and tired of it.  I am tired of being a GOOD CITIZEN in a BAD SOCIETY.  Unfortunately, there's nowhere else to go, because AMERICA IS EVERYWHERE.  So maybe the only solution is to BREAK SOME SHIT (in sneaky, undetectable ways), to throw sand in the gears of EVERYTHING.  To be a WALKING GLITCH, a wrench in the works, a whole pack of sanitary pads down the crapper.

They used to call people who did that "wreckers", and it was a perjorative.  But that's when people had a VESTED INTEREST in the society they lived in.  Right now, the only people with a true, vested interest are the people who own the people who own the country.

I can hear you, brothers & sisters.  I can HEAR you saying "Shut up, Rev, everything is better now than it ever has been, you should be grateful.", and the only response I have is "SHUT UP YOURSELF, JACKASS!  At NO POINT did we all agree that when our standard of living reached a certain point, we should all SIT DOWN and SHUT UP and let ourselves be SCREWED OVER because we have some NICER STUFF than Grandpappy had.  At NO POINT did we agree that we can't CRITICIZE the system because we have more STUFF than people in Darfur had.  That's like saying a slave can't run away wearing the pants his master issued him!  So FUCK YOU!"

To summarize:  Break shit, try something new, and SHUT ME UP or FUCK YOU.

AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!

Or Kill Me!

[LMNO]

wHEEEEEEEE!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[Salty]

Awwwwww yeah.

How about NSA Theatre? Elaborate productions meant for the discerning ear of the governmennt creeper.

You will know you have reached your audience when They show up at your door with Questions.

True fans,

[Ben Shapiro]

<3 TGRR 2016. I just want you to have full access to nukes!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

<3 TGRR 2016. I just want you to have full access to nukes!

Nukes are never enough.

[Red]

<3 TGRR 2016. I just want you to have full access to nukes!

Nukes are never enough.

Well, we could add in the massive stockpiles of biological weaponry cached around the USA like the world's worst Easter Egg hunt. Oh, and a large stack of bibles. We're going for mass destruction here!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

<3 TGRR 2016. I just want you to have full access to nukes!

Nukes are never enough.

Well, we could add in the massive stockpiles of biological weaponry cached around the USA like the world's worst Easter Egg hunt. Oh, and a large stack of bibles. We're going for mass destruction here!

You make me sad.