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Testamonial:  And i have actually gone to a bar and had a bouncer try to start a fight with me on the way in. I broke his teeth out of his fucking mouth and put his face through a passenger side window of a car.

Guess thats what the Internet was build for, pussy motherfuckers taking shit in safety...

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An objective rant about why a career in hospitality probably isn't for you.

Started by Da6s, April 15, 2014, 12:16:41 AM

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Da6s

April 15, 2014, 12:16:41 AM Last Edit: April 15, 2014, 12:30:21 AM by Da6s
Sitting at a bar and kinda buzzed so I imagine and plan and depend on this post getting updated later today. With more feels. And stuff.

Today marks the one year anniversary since my last shift ever in hospitality. And damn freedom feels fucking amazing. Herein will be all of the trivial bullshit that I do not miss. And also, why getting the fuck out was a great choice.

Let's start with the things I do miss. Since that's a much shorter list. It's cheesy as all hell, but I miss the magical pseudo happiness that lingers over a tourist resort. It's surreal. It's vacation. And living in it on a day to day basis can confuse and bewilder. Actually, the vacation magic is what made the fantasy shattering shit so much worse. Outside of this vacation eutopia world you'll live in, the miserable fucks in the trenches with you make up some of the best coworkers you'll ever have. Because you're completely in it together. Hell or high water, you're helping your team get through the shit, and now that I work in IT from home, I really miss that comradery. There's nothing like a smoke break or a back office bitch fest about the unreasonable family that expects 5 star treatment at a 2 star rate. I miss the views. Being able to stop during any work day and just take it in. I haven't smoked consistently since I was 17 but the times of high stress at that job that led to my buying a pack of camel Turkish silver resulted in bliss. There's something about a late night cig in the silence of a snowstorm watching the kats groom for the next say that is just perfect. I miss that the most I think. Huehuehue Eris blah blah but honestly I miss the unpredictable chaos the job had. The fact every night some totally fucking off the wall situation could give me a bar story for life.
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

Pæs

#1
April 15, 2014, 12:29:02 AM
A pot of boiled something is removed from the element and thrusted in my direction. I dance aside to avoid catching a faceful of hot broth, sweep up a handtowel to protect my hands and take the pot. The next step is unclear. "PUT IT!" Chef demands. Beat. "PUT IT RIGHT NOW."

There are limited options available. Do I:

A) Place the pot on the bench beside the stove. Chef is closer to here, so it seems unlikely that he would delegate this placement to me.
B) Place the pot on the mobile tray behind me. We've just cleared this surface, intending to wheel it into a catered function upstairs in five minutes.
"PUT IT SONOFABITCH."
C) Place the pot on the bench on the opposite side of the room. This bench is clear and seems a sensible place for this to go.
D) Take the pot and run.

C. "NO. PUT IT."
B "GAAAH PUT IT."
A "GIVE IT."

Chef places the pot back on the stove and flails manically at the door, gesturing for me to leave. This is going to be a good job.

Pæs

#2
April 15, 2014, 12:33:15 AM
Quote from: Da6s on April 15, 2014, 12:32:32 AM
Quote from: Pæs on April 15, 2014, 12:29:02 AM
Chef places the pot back on the stove and flails manically at the door, gesturing for me to leave. This is going to be a good job.

Motherfucker, I'm not done yet. Snort some Xanax and fuck off.

This thread had zero content when I replied. Write your shit in notepad first and eat a bag of dicks.

Da6s

#3
April 15, 2014, 12:37:13 AM
Quote from: Pæs on April 15, 2014, 12:33:15 AM
Quote from: Da6s on April 15, 2014, 12:32:32 AM
Quote from: Pæs on April 15, 2014, 12:29:02 AM
Chef places the pot back on the stove and flails manically at the door, gesturing for me to leave. This is going to be a good job.

Motherfucker, I'm not done yet. Snort some Xanax and fuck off.

This thread had zero content when I replied. Write your shit in notepad first and eat a bag of dicks.

Because that's doable at a bar on my phone.
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

Da6s

#4
April 15, 2014, 12:39:30 AM
When people bitch about the lack of fresh content around these parts, look to the shitneck herein and know.
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

Pæs

#5
April 15, 2014, 12:40:40 AM
"This thread is about hospitality and I intend to eventually put content in it."

>Reply riffing on theme

"HOLY SHITFUCKDAMN WHY ARE YOU REPLYING?"

Yeah, fuck you.

Pæs

#6
April 15, 2014, 12:42:20 AM
"Hi, this is a placeholder because I am on my phone and cannot use notepad. Please allow me to finish talking before contributing"

vs no such comment followed by

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE THIS IS MY THREAD LEAVE IT ALONE"

Yeah, did I mention fuck you?

hooplala

#7
April 15, 2014, 02:07:21 AM
Quote from: Da6s on April 15, 2014, 12:39:30 AM
When people bitch about the lack of fresh content around these parts, look to the shitneck herein and know.

I'm not seeing Paes as the problem in this thread.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Johnny

#8
April 15, 2014, 02:07:38 AM
 :lulz:
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
April 15, 2014, 03:17:32 PM
What the fuck is going on here?   :?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
April 15, 2014, 03:17:51 PM
Quote from: Da6s on April 15, 2014, 12:39:30 AM
When people bitch about the lack of fresh content around these parts, look to the shitneck herein and know.

Oh, wait, never mind, I don't care.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
April 15, 2014, 03:20:20 PM
Quote from: Pæs on April 15, 2014, 12:40:40 AM
"This thread is about hospitality and I intend to eventually put content in it."

>Reply riffing on theme

"HOLY SHITFUCKDAMN WHY ARE YOU REPLYING?"

Yeah, fuck you.

Yeah, a bunch of this.

For all the times people have written good stuff, only to have it sink like a fucking stone, then THIS asshole gets pissed because someone riffed on his shit?

JESUS H CHRIST, IT'S THE INTERNET VERSION OF THE FIRST-WORLD PROBLEM.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

#12
April 15, 2014, 03:28:04 PM
fwiw, I want to hear more of your story, dags

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
April 15, 2014, 03:32:06 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on April 15, 2014, 03:28:04 PM
fwiw, I want to hear more of your story, dags

Fuck dags.  In the eyesocket.  With something diseased.

Even by my standards, there was no fucking excuse for this shit.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

#14
April 15, 2014, 04:47:51 PM
I must have missed something
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