OPEN BAR: I see you've come to PD. I too like to live dangerously

[P3nT4gR4m]

But I have no real knowledge. And I definitely have nothing to put on a resume (my last job was at a pizza place and that was 12 years ago).
It might be good for you guys to BS a resume or CV or whatever, but there is no way in hell I could pull it off.

Take a good hard, serious look at what you know. It's easy to get an inferiority complex but the truth is probably quite the opposite. How much can you do with ms office or equivalent? Wordprocessing, spreadsheets, shit like that? How good are you at googling the answer to anything you're not sure about? Believe it or not, just knowing this shit puts you head and shoulders above the average small business owner.

When I say BS, I don't mean bullshit about what you can do, if you do that, it's fucking suicide but bullshitting about experience is how everyone gets the job. Most people don't see it as BS, they maybe justify it as positive spin or a painting a rose coloured picture or editing out the negative shit but the bottom line is that al interviews are exercises in bullshit.

All I'm suggesting is that if you have to BS, why not take it to the fucking wal?. If you reckon the guy sitting across the table will buy the - wrestling rabid tigers with your bare hands - story then tell it? BS your confidence, BS your qualifications, BS your experience but, most importantly, know you can help these muppets make money by holding their hands and leading them into the future.

[Junkenstein]

Yeah, that pretty much nails it. As long as the key impression is based around making/saving money you'll interview well. There's literally a dozen stupidly simple ways of doing so and I've never encountered a small business owner doing more than 3. I'm talking basic shit here like getting your free ad in the yellow pages. Stuff like that can help you invent your way into a job in marketing and such too. Always reconsider how you can spin your activities to other skill sets.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Two days from now, I'm moving to Toronto. I'll have a job when I get there, and it appears that things are beginning to go well for a change, in spite of the temporary indignity of staying at my grandparents' place. I've had progress in therapy here, and I've begun to identify at least one of the mechanisms behind my behaviors. If I spend the summer establishing a routine to methodically adjust this mechanism, maybe I'll even be a functioning human being by winter.

Good on ya, dude. 

Toronto is a fun town, even if it's full of degenerates.

This is true!

And, on a brighter note than earlier, I have an interview for a graphic design job on Tuesday!

Woohoo! Good luck to you, Hoops!

[hooplala]

Thanks All-Father!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Birthday.

I have a whole-weekend hangover.

Happy belated!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Srsly.  You're talking about a place that ragged on someone for asking if there were any Discordians in Israel.  Like it was some kind of terrible social faux pas.

...


Wh... I missed that one. Probably because it's FBD(TM)

[Suu]

Husband has to go down to New London for training for a month with slim chance of returning on the weekends.  So now I get to be car-less in a city where I know 3 people and I can't walk anywhere but Wal-Mart.

I like his new, "Don't kill me, but..." way of breaking Navy news to me. It makes me laugh. Of course nothing is worse as the 5 day deployment warning that didn't deploy followed by a phone call the next day in which his CO basically went "loljustkidding". That was special, even by Navy standards.

I've just accepted the fact that since my life just wasn't chaotic enough, Eris felt that I needed the spontaneity and ineptitude of the United States Armed Forces.


Whatever. I have good fucking health insurance now.

[Suu]

Of course, the best part about my newfound giggle fits when so called bad news drops, is that the CO thinks I'm awesome, while the majority of the wives leave me alone. Except for my neighbor, who is equally as batshit and still wants to set up parameter snares around our building to catch creepy maintenance men.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hey, at least you're laughing.

[P3nT4gR4m]

So, as part of my research into nextgen input devices, I have purchased a tiny helicopter. Fuck me these things are harder to fly than they look. Capable of going a couple of hundred feet in the air, I start to freak out when it reaches an altitude of 5. P3nTK9 has decided it's evil and must be eaten so I'm forced to crash it into the kitchen, rather than the living room.

Next step - get it on the slab, rip it's guts out, wire it into my laptop and teach the little bastard to fly itself.

FOR SCIENCE!!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Birthday.

I have a whole-weekend hangover.

Happy belated!

Thanks Twid!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So I hung out with my friend E last night. It was enjoyable up until she started talking about being tied up, and it spun into this whole thing about how she noticed a mark on the wall and realized it was from her previous fling, and then proceeded in great detail about how it got there, and I realized that the specific thing that annoys the shit out of me isn't just that it's TMI, because we all TMI all the time, it's what friends do. It's that it has a specific quality of "LOOK AT ME, I'M TOTALLY HAVING SEX" that I remember people doing around 18-20. And she always follows it with "sorry for the TMI!" No, girl, you are not sorry. You on some level, for some unfathomable reason, really want your friends to know that you get some deep-dick kinky sex. But listen, here's the thing: we've ALL been there. Even those of us she just can't (and shouldn't) picture doing some down-dawg-dirty-hot kinky shit. A little detergent will get that grease stain out of the wall. Nobody cares.

[EK WAFFLR]

I've planted trees and flowers in the garden, fixed WaffleGF's bike, my own bike, destroyed the bike pump, done the dishes and read half a book today.
I was supposed to take the bike to the woods and set up a strongman camp. I'll do that tomorrow. Unless I find more plants to plant.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Ugh. I wrote sad things and then I cried so hard I have a headache.

[Cain]

I love the Student Loans Company.  They're like some sort of totalitarian monster, something Stalin would've dreamed up had he gone into the world of business.

No less than three days after getting a new job, I get a letter "reminding me" that should my earnings fall above the threshold, I will be making repayments.  No numbers, no new information.  Just a creepily fast reminder that the SLC and Treasury talk all the time.