Also, what the fuck is Weltbruger on about? Hasn't he read Dan Brown's "Illuminatinous"? It quite clearly implies that Kreg Thornley changed his name to "Bill Drummond so he could sell Ice Cream, make records with Tammy Wynternette, and take loads of Ketamine.
Damned if I know. Thread's about you now, since I'm pretty sure that will be a more popular topic.
Sex is nothing more than exchanging genetic information. Even bacteria do it, they just don't have cocks or poons. The just kinda shoot their cell walls at each other. Our method is preferable, both sensation-wise and the fact that we don't reproduce often enough to rely on mutation (seriously, bacteria reproduce every 20 minutes.)
sO TECHNICALLY, THE FIRST EVER SINGLE CELLED ORGANISM THAT EVER (sssh!) developed a semi permeable cell membrain, and decided to split, is still floating around somewhere, (Or ast least, half of it is) in the prime orgasmal soup, so often denied and derided by Young Earth Probationists. And your figures (although at first glance, quite believable) will need citations please. Even I find it hard to complete an act of reproduction every twenty minutes, and I'm far more involved than a stupid germ, or whatever.
But if you ARE going to be doing "science", why not do a more useful one than sitting round watching porn and speculating about . . .promiscuous germs having unsafe sex? Why not see if you can replace the Iron age technology that's in our red blood cells, with photo-reactive chlorophyll based cells, with proper cell walls instead of leaky old membranes, then maybe we could solve the World's food crisis by photosynthesising all our energy needs. It would also cure us all of being racialists, because we'd all be of one colour. (Probably some variant of green)
On the minus side, Bono would almost definitely try to get involved, because of the potential for shameless self-promotion, tax deductable "Aids donations" simply for being the richest narcissist in (Or rather, NOT in) all of Oireland, and (most importantly) flooding his carefully chosen and targetted demographic with shitty charity records, usually in collaboration with another old, shit rock has been, like Elton John or ex-Beetle, Stella McCartney. That way, once everyone realises what a poile of ol' shoite it is, he'll have some other poor senile fucker to blame, While he flys his massive "administrative re-numeration fee" out of the way, on the same Jumbo jet he uses to transport his "lucky" Hat and Sunglasses to his Seafront residence in the Cayman Islands. Cunt.
In other news, The Boomtown Rats are playing in a Village Pub near me at the end of the month. And yes, it IS for charity, but you don't see Bob "give us yer fookin' money" Geldof begging in the streets like Bono would have been. (If Geldof wasn't wise to his tricks already)
If (as I do) you feel sufficient loathing for Bonio (Out of U2) and his massive all consuming ego, you might like to leave a crassly insensitive comment on our commemorative facebook page called "R.I.P Bono" or some shit like that (I can't get you a link because those cunts at Faecebork BANNED ME FOR LIKE, EVAR!)
There's a touchingly hilarious poem about how much I'm going to miss him now that he's in Heaven posted there, but I can't re-post it here, for the reasons stated above. Oh my mistake, I outsmarted them by losing my login for that account (and the email address associated with it) BEFORE they suspended me. I seem to have wandered off topic at some point during this post, and I really cant be arsed to scroll up and see what worthy subject I'm attention whoring all over. Also, I'd like to assure Beltwerger that I would be more than happy to offer my sincerest apologies for this act of wanton thread abuse. (Or would, If only I gave a fuck, that is) And at least I spelled his name correctly ONCE during this post.
And actually bothered to take the time and trouble to fucking lie about it. (No, no Welty, please don't thank me, I was happy to do this, it really was no trouble) Right. I'm going fishing now, and it's such a nice day that I don't even care if I don't catch anything. So I won't even need to buy any bait. L8rz Pertayters,

(I've fuckin' missed these emotes on facebook, so I might be forgiven for spamposting thousands of them in their own thread, right?)

Or even just 3 of them.