Eris and Lesser Gods

[Salty]

A lot of religions are simply a series of warnings and promises.

If you avoid this and play nice, you will get X.

People like that because they are dumb and enjoy dreaming. It's better, for them apparently, to live in eternal (or as close as any one of us can manage) rapture, yearning for the day their prayers becomes answered and glory be.

Stupid.

Not because they choose to believe in something, though I have my doubts about the enduring benefits of belief. No, they are stupid because that is a RAW DEAL. Why wait? Why put up with fickle, silent gods?

Discordia offers you More Fun Than You Really Wanted RIGHT NOW! No waiting for the afterlife. No waiting for the return of the eight-horned worm of doom to return from the Jesus Juice Sunshine Factory.

No.

Eris will not let your prayers go unheeded, then she will just not let you go. You may scream and kick and, well, those two things over and over forever, but she will not release the grip up uglieness. There's no excommunication around here and ain't that just awful?

Then again, it's a whole lot better than just getting conned, isn't it? Sure, it's horrible and unpleasant and quite often forces you to turn to some small part of your brain where Her Holy Fallout hasn't yet made it impossible for you to do more than quake with fear. These little places where you can still tell yourself pleasing lies, even if they are grotesque by your own standards; the little places where Tumblr whispers to your heart.

Sure.

But it's THERE, isn't it? This Holy Light doesn't have conditions or demands or requirements, it doesn't ask for tithes or evangelism, it doesn't prohibit you from expressing your inner self or your sexuality, it just gives you more of the same. And it gives it to you with an efficiency that make something super efficient look like something totally lame at efficiency.

You can't buy spiritual gratification like that, and you can't turn it off, and you can't run fast enought.

And thank god for that.

[The Johnny]

[Reginald Ret]

Eh, 2 out of 5.
Doesn't really work for me.
Especially this part:

Then again, it's a whole lot better than just getting conned, isn't it? Sure, it's horrible and unpleasant and quite often forces you to turn to some small part of your brain where Her Holy Fallout hasn't yet made it impossible for you to do more than quake with fear. These little places where you can still tell yourself pleasing lies, even if they are grotesque by your own standards; the little places where Tumblr whispers to your heart.

I like the concept very much but the execution seems half-assed to me.

This seems broken to me:

Eris will not let your prayers go unheeded, then she will just not let you go.

I live the conclusion though:

But it's THERE, isn't it? This Holy Light doesn't have conditions or demands or requirements, it doesn't ask for tithes or evangelism, it doesn't prohibit you from expressing your inner self or your sexuality, it just gives you more of the same. And it gives it to you with an efficiency that make something super efficient look like something totally lame at efficiency.

You can't buy spiritual gratification like that, and you can't turn it off, and you can't run fast enought.

And thank god for that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

ERIS: DELIVERS.

[Salty]

Eh, 2 out of 5.
Doesn't really work for me.
Especially this part:

Then again, it's a whole lot better than just getting conned, isn't it? Sure, it's horrible and unpleasant and quite often forces you to turn to some small part of your brain where Her Holy Fallout hasn't yet made it impossible for you to do more than quake with fear. These little places where you can still tell yourself pleasing lies, even if they are grotesque by your own standards; the little places where Tumblr whispers to your heart.

I like the concept very much but the execution seems half-assed to me.

This seems broken to me:

Eris will not let your prayers go unheeded, then she will just not let you go.

I live the conclusion though:

But it's THERE, isn't it? This Holy Light doesn't have conditions or demands or requirements, it doesn't ask for tithes or evangelism, it doesn't prohibit you from expressing your inner self or your sexuality, it just gives you more of the same. And it gives it to you with an efficiency that make something super efficient look like something totally lame at efficiency.

You can't buy spiritual gratification like that, and you can't turn it off, and you can't run fast enought.

And thank god for that.

I'm rusty, they can't all be winners.

[Reginald Ret]

Eh, 2 out of 5.
Doesn't really work for me.
Especially this part:

Then again, it's a whole lot better than just getting conned, isn't it? Sure, it's horrible and unpleasant and quite often forces you to turn to some small part of your brain where Her Holy Fallout hasn't yet made it impossible for you to do more than quake with fear. These little places where you can still tell yourself pleasing lies, even if they are grotesque by your own standards; the little places where Tumblr whispers to your heart.

I like the concept very much but the execution seems half-assed to me.

This seems broken to me:

Eris will not let your prayers go unheeded, then she will just not let you go.

I live the conclusion though:

But it's THERE, isn't it? This Holy Light doesn't have conditions or demands or requirements, it doesn't ask for tithes or evangelism, it doesn't prohibit you from expressing your inner self or your sexuality, it just gives you more of the same. And it gives it to you with an efficiency that make something super efficient look like something totally lame at efficiency.

You can't buy spiritual gratification like that, and you can't turn it off, and you can't run fast enought.

And thank god for that.

I'm rusty, they can't all be winners.

Eh, it is infinity percent better than me, because I don't actually create anything other than mild annoyance in those around me.

[Cainad (dec.)]

"Eris the Inevitable" is one of my favorite parts of Discordianism. And when I say favorite I mean AAAIEEEEEEEEE!

[Suu]

Just like the month that LMNO spent waking up each day going, "Surprise me, Eris!" And it happened. All of it.

[LMNO]

True story.

Couldn't sit down for about a week afterwards.

[xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)]

Erises biggest joke is the idea that any of you chose her. No, you never had a choice, you dont find Discordia, Discordia happens to you. All of mankind are but stooges in the great joke, we are just the select few who have been cursed with knowledge of the joke. Were sitcom characters who hear the laughtrack. And no matter how much we scream and wail and gnash the audience is going to keep on laughing. The punchline, THE punchline is coming. Stock up on ammunition.

True story.

Couldn't sit down for about a week afterwards.

Link and/or pics?

[UB]

Not to one up on any complaints againts Eris but .... as an Atheist acquaintance posted the above pic., it should force us to question submissiveness, entirely.


     

[Salty]

Not to one up on any complaints againts Eris but .... as an Atheist acquaintance posted the above pic., it should force us to question submissiveness, entirely.


     

[xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)]

Not to one up on any complaints againts Eris but .... as an Atheist acquaintance posted the above pic., it should force us to question submissiveness, entirely.
     

You dont get it. You dont "submit" to Eris anymore than you submit to a Hurricane or a Meteor. You can "rebel" against Eris all you like, youre still doing her will. There is no escape.

[Raz Tech]

Not to one up on any complaints againts Eris but .... as an Atheist acquaintance posted the above pic., it should force us to question submissiveness, entirely.


     

God dammit i hate you.
Can someone please tell me how to block people?

edit: is it the nemesis list?  I hope so

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Not to one up on any complaints againts Eris but .... as an Atheist acquaintance posted the above pic., it should force us to question submissiveness, entirely.


     

God dammit i hate you.
Can someone please tell me how to block people?

edit: is it the nemesis list?  I hope so

No, that's the opposite of blocking! It's the ignore list.