Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 09, 2014, 03:18:31 PM

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ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#600
June 25, 2014, 03:51:38 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 25, 2014, 02:26:24 AM
So I think instead of screwing up this garment, what I have done is created a scientific constant somewhere in quantum theory. I have tried several different methods of attaching the gore, which measures exactly to its sister gores, and received the same results each time. So rather than defining insanity, I am actually CREATING A CONSTANT FORM OF CHAOS OUT OF OTHER NON-CHAOTIC CONSTANTS. For every aneristic action there is an equal but opposite eristic action.

BETTER SCIENCE THROUGH SEWING.

Rotate the bias 23°, I dare you.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#601
June 25, 2014, 04:23:12 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 25, 2014, 01:58:21 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 25, 2014, 01:14:26 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 25, 2014, 12:06:57 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 25, 2014, 12:01:32 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 25, 2014, 12:00:19 AM
A friend of mine right now is on a business trip in Tucson right now, and he *likes* it there.

I'm wondering if I should tell him.

Too late.

You're right.

Nashville, get ready to be Tucson'd.

"At first it was just like, one scorpion in the Grand Ol' Opry. But then, like, we kept hearing this rustling noise. And some snorting. Figured it was some Tim McGraw groupies doing heroin in one of the dressing rooms again. Then Dolly Parton was being gored on stage by javelinas and there was so much screaming. All the blood. And the sand and cactuses from nowhere. And. Oh my God. The blood. The blood. The screams."

You and I both know that's a huge improvement.

Until PETA gets involved because mistreating javelinas. :(
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#602
June 25, 2014, 07:47:31 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 25, 2014, 02:30:49 AM
In other news, I just sent Chris to the Meet Rack.

"Oh yeah, check it out...best craft beer bar in Tucson!"

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

You are a BAD PERSON.  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#603
June 25, 2014, 07:52:14 AM
Went to a fabulous Italian restaurant tonight with boyfriend B and had the most delightful cioppino. It was so fucking delicious I think I might dream about it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Nephew Twiddleton

#604
June 25, 2014, 09:39:23 AM
Meaghan (Pat's wife) went into labor last night. Her water broke at the restaurant during the onion volcano. This is working out to be an eventful week.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

minuspace

#605
June 25, 2014, 10:03:50 AM
Skirt, fillet, lamb-chop, for me, and then some veal sausage, that went to the canine. I also really enjoy my meat unprocessed.  Fuck if the dog cares.

Junkenstein

#606
June 25, 2014, 11:32:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 24, 2014, 10:21:15 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 24, 2014, 09:10:24 PM
Well on the plus side there will be twice as much shit that breaks in 3 months.

Wait.

I CAN TAKE IT

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

You know, I'd be interested to tender for the upcoming works in about 6-7 months when this all goes to shit. Have your peon call my peon.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Nephew Twiddleton

#607
June 25, 2014, 11:50:21 AM
And it's a boy, like Pat was hoping. They named him after his (Pat's) father.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Junkenstein

#608
June 25, 2014, 11:56:19 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 25, 2014, 07:52:14 AM
Went to a fabulous Italian restaurant tonight with boyfriend B and had the most delightful cioppino. It was so fucking delicious I think I might dream about it.

I envy you. I have to travel about 20 miles for the nearest decent Italian as the local ones here tend to specialise in


I wish I was joking.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#609
June 25, 2014, 01:24:16 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 25, 2014, 11:32:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 24, 2014, 10:21:15 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 24, 2014, 09:10:24 PM
Well on the plus side there will be twice as much shit that breaks in 3 months.

Wait.

I CAN TAKE IT

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

You know, I'd be interested to tender for the upcoming works in about 6-7 months when this all goes to shit. Have your peon call my peon.

Ask my peons to handle an international call?  Ha.  Haha.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#610
June 25, 2014, 01:27:46 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 25, 2014, 07:47:31 AM
Quote from: The Suu on June 25, 2014, 02:30:49 AM
In other news, I just sent Chris to the Meet Rack.

"Oh yeah, check it out...best craft beer bar in Tucson!"

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

You are a BAD PERSON.  :lulz:

The current pictures on their Facebook page involve branding people's asses. This is what he gets for telling me he liked the city. Now he's fucked forever.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Junkenstein

#611
June 25, 2014, 02:24:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2014, 01:24:16 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 25, 2014, 11:32:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 24, 2014, 10:21:15 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 24, 2014, 09:10:24 PM
Well on the plus side there will be twice as much shit that breaks in 3 months.

Wait.

I CAN TAKE IT

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

You know, I'd be interested to tender for the upcoming works in about 6-7 months when this all goes to shit. Have your peon call my peon.

Ask my peons to handle an international call?  Ha.  Haha.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I've been giving one of mine fax machine numbers to ring. He can't understand why everyone he calls has broken phones.

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#612
June 25, 2014, 02:30:08 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 25, 2014, 02:24:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2014, 01:24:16 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 25, 2014, 11:32:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 24, 2014, 10:21:15 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 24, 2014, 09:10:24 PM
Well on the plus side there will be twice as much shit that breaks in 3 months.

Wait.

I CAN TAKE IT

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

You know, I'd be interested to tender for the upcoming works in about 6-7 months when this all goes to shit. Have your peon call my peon.

Ask my peons to handle an international call?  Ha.  Haha.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I've been giving one of mine fax machine numbers to ring. He can't understand why everyone he calls has broken phones.

:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#613
June 25, 2014, 02:30:53 PM
I took a mental health day today.  I don't plan on doing sweet fuck all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

trippinprincezz13

#614
June 25, 2014, 03:39:20 PM
Primus tonight in Maine. Much happiness.
There's no sun shine coming through her ass, if you are sure of your penis.

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you, may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution.

If there is no order in your sexual life it may be difficult to stay with a whole skin.
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