Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So on my geology field trip on Saturday, I somehow managed to smile/be friendly at every crazy motherfucker on the bus. Luckily the girl next to me was a totally normal sweet human being, but the rest of them were freaking my shit out. I complimented one girl on her orange nail polish, and she immediately told me that she has fibromyalgia and her meds weren't working, and then that she's had a migraine for the last 24 hours, and then would moan "Ow, it hurts so much" whenever she was within earshot of me.

There was some small irony in that I'd just been reading Sacks on migraine for the previous two hours. I didn't call her on being a hypochondriac drama whore, though, because it's unlikely that I'll ever be in a class with her again and as far as I'm concerned, let the histrionics have their little fantasies, as long as I don't have to deal with that shit.

[Suu]

"vial"

And yes.  Wait until they put you on 7 different meds, just for the hell of it, and ask you to come in every two weeks, for "monitoring".

I like my typo better. It mirrors my mood succinctly.

But dude, it was like, "Okay,so you haven't had blood work done since such and such a date and you were younger than 25. You're over 30 now, and your family has a history of hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, anemia, Hepatitis C, and the diabeetus. Roll up your goddamn sleeve. Oh, and pee in this here cup, just in case you're pregnant."

I gotta hand it to the phlebotomist though, she was on the mark first shot and I barely felt a thing, which is why I got skeptical and looked back over as she continued to suck blood out of my arm  like a goddamn vampire and I asked why she needed so much DNA. Navy Corpsmen have no sense of humor. Well, at least at 7:30am they don't.

Wait. You're just now getting major bloodwork done? Fuck you. They've been bleeding me like a Masai cow every time I go in for the last 20 years.

Well, it's not like I've had affordable healthcare, or rather, healthcare AT ALL that required this. The last time I got blood drawn was for a titer test when I started my 2nd undergrad because URI couldn't read my Florida high school transcript, which included all of my immunization records.  This will be the first time I'm getting my cholesterol and grown-up shit looked at, and I'm not particularly looking forward to the results considering my family history, and the chance they're going to give me a bunch of new PILLS HERE.

Or I could have actually inherited something from my mother and be healthy. That would be nice.

[Suu]

So on my geology field trip on Saturday, I somehow managed to smile/be friendly at every crazy motherfucker on the bus. Luckily the girl next to me was a totally normal sweet human being, but the rest of them were freaking my shit out. I complimented one girl on her orange nail polish, and she immediately told me that she has fibromyalgia and her meds weren't working, and then that she's had a migraine for the last 24 hours, and then would moan "Ow, it hurts so much" whenever she was within earshot of me.

There was some small irony in that I'd just been reading Sacks on migraine for the previous two hours. I didn't call her on being a hypochondriac drama whore, though, because it's unlikely that I'll ever be in a class with her again and as far as I'm concerned, let the histrionics have their little fantasies, as long as I don't have to deal with that shit.

If she's that sick, why did she go on the field trip? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So on my geology field trip on Saturday, I somehow managed to smile/be friendly at every crazy motherfucker on the bus. Luckily the girl next to me was a totally normal sweet human being, but the rest of them were freaking my shit out. I complimented one girl on her orange nail polish, and she immediately told me that she has fibromyalgia and her meds weren't working, and then that she's had a migraine for the last 24 hours, and then would moan "Ow, it hurts so much" whenever she was within earshot of me.

There was some small irony in that I'd just been reading Sacks on migraine for the previous two hours. I didn't call her on being a hypochondriac drama whore, though, because it's unlikely that I'll ever be in a class with her again and as far as I'm concerned, let the histrionics have their little fantasies, as long as I don't have to deal with that shit.

If she's that sick, why did she go on the field trip? 

Uhhhhh because she's not sick.

[Suu]

So on my geology field trip on Saturday, I somehow managed to smile/be friendly at every crazy motherfucker on the bus. Luckily the girl next to me was a totally normal sweet human being, but the rest of them were freaking my shit out. I complimented one girl on her orange nail polish, and she immediately told me that she has fibromyalgia and her meds weren't working, and then that she's had a migraine for the last 24 hours, and then would moan "Ow, it hurts so much" whenever she was within earshot of me.

There was some small irony in that I'd just been reading Sacks on migraine for the previous two hours. I didn't call her on being a hypochondriac drama whore, though, because it's unlikely that I'll ever be in a class with her again and as far as I'm concerned, let the histrionics have their little fantasies, as long as I don't have to deal with that shit.

If she's that sick, why did she go on the field trip? 

Uhhhhh because she's not sick.

Well, clearly, but still. You're not going to convince many folks you have fibro, which is from what I understand, debilitating, if you, you know, leave the house and go on school field trips where you can tell everyone about it when they ask about orange nail polish. It just seems counter-intuitive to me. If you're gonna fake sick, at least stay at home and attempt to forge a doctor's note.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

"vial"

And yes.  Wait until they put you on 7 different meds, just for the hell of it, and ask you to come in every two weeks, for "monitoring".

I like my typo better. It mirrors my mood succinctly.

But dude, it was like, "Okay,so you haven't had blood work done since such and such a date and you were younger than 25. You're over 30 now, and your family has a history of hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, anemia, Hepatitis C, and the diabeetus. Roll up your goddamn sleeve. Oh, and pee in this here cup, just in case you're pregnant."

I gotta hand it to the phlebotomist though, she was on the mark first shot and I barely felt a thing, which is why I got skeptical and looked back over as she continued to suck blood out of my arm  like a goddamn vampire and I asked why she needed so much DNA. Navy Corpsmen have no sense of humor. Well, at least at 7:30am they don't.

Wait. You're just now getting major bloodwork done? Fuck you. They've been bleeding me like a Masai cow every time I go in for the last 20 years.

Hah. It's been 20 years SINCE I've had bloodwork done. (not counting plasma donations, which just clear me of HIV and Hep)

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So on my geology field trip on Saturday, I somehow managed to smile/be friendly at every crazy motherfucker on the bus. Luckily the girl next to me was a totally normal sweet human being, but the rest of them were freaking my shit out. I complimented one girl on her orange nail polish, and she immediately told me that she has fibromyalgia and her meds weren't working, and then that she's had a migraine for the last 24 hours, and then would moan "Ow, it hurts so much" whenever she was within earshot of me.

There was some small irony in that I'd just been reading Sacks on migraine for the previous two hours. I didn't call her on being a hypochondriac drama whore, though, because it's unlikely that I'll ever be in a class with her again and as far as I'm concerned, let the histrionics have their little fantasies, as long as I don't have to deal with that shit.

If she's that sick, why did she go on the field trip? 

Uhhhhh because she's not sick.

Well, clearly, but still. You're not going to convince many folks you have fibro, which is from what I understand, debilitating, if you, you know, leave the house and go on school field trips where you can tell everyone about it when they ask about orange nail polish. It just seems counter-intuitive to me. If you're gonna fake sick, at least stay at home and attempt to forge a doctor's note.

Crazy people don't make sense.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You know, this latest round of brain weirdness has actually affected the way I look at people, in a very positive way.  I've very quickly become a lot more willing and able to put myself in someone else's shoes.

I still hate Mike the Engineer like he was sucking Pol Pot's farts out every night, mind you.  But he's a genuinely bad person.  In general I find myself a great deal more sympathetic toward people.

I think I like this a great deal.

[Cainad (dec.)]

You know, this latest round of brain weirdness has actually affected the way I look at people, in a very positive way.  I've very quickly become a lot more willing and able to put myself in someone else's shoes.

I still hate Mike the Engineer like he was sucking Pol Pot's farts out every night, mind you.  But he's a genuinely bad person.  In general I find myself a great deal more sympathetic toward people.

I think I like this a great deal.

Right on!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know, this latest round of brain weirdness has actually affected the way I look at people, in a very positive way.  I've very quickly become a lot more willing and able to put myself in someone else's shoes.

I still hate Mike the Engineer like he was sucking Pol Pot's farts out every night, mind you.  But he's a genuinely bad person.  In general I find myself a great deal more sympathetic toward people.

I think I like this a great deal.

That's awesome, actually!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The guy who founded the field of neuroeconomics kind of makes me wanna puke with his pseudoscience philosophy.

Oh well, it's an interesting class and it gives me fodder for discussion in my real neuroscience class.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, he does quantum. There is almost nothing I hate more than "neuroscientists" who quantum. That and "the same parts of the brain light up" FUCK YOU.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It IS awesome, Nigel, and what's more, it's infectuous (sp?).

When you do it, people around you do it, at least to some degree.  I think it's because people think they HAVE to be assholes.  When someone in authority isn't an asshole, then it's suddenly okay to act like a human being.

Milgram's thing works both ways.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Something occurred to me: "So this is what it's like to think like The Terrible Old Man did."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It IS awesome, Nigel, and what's more, it's infectuous (sp?).

When you do it, people around you do it, at least to some degree.  I think it's because people think they HAVE to be assholes.  When someone in authority isn't an asshole, then it's suddenly okay to act like a human being.

Milgram's thing works both ways.

YES YES YES.