My Girl Friday

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Part 6

The next morning, I was a little impatient to get back to Horne Enterprises.  As a result, I banged on the closet door until Friday finally opened it.  She was wearing some weird riding outfit...Jodhpurs and knee-high boots, a white button down shirt and a riding crop.  She didn't look pleased.

"What time is it?"

"It's 7AM, Friday.  Time to get to work."

"If you ever wake me up this early again, I will cut you."

"I'm sorry.  I just really want to talk to myself."

"Did that make sense in YOUR head?", she asked.

"Yes.  Never mind, let's go."

We got in my Packard and headed around to Horne Enterprises.  On the way, Friday told me to stop at the local Quikmart.  She ran in, and came out holding a coffee and a briefcase.  She got back in the car and handed me the coffee.

"You saved my life", I said, sipping at the coffee.

"I think that's about to become a habit", she replied, "And it's not my usual thing."

"Heh.  What's in the case?"

"A pile of money."

I figured she was being facetious, so I just drove.  A few minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of Horne Enterprises.  We walked in, and had the receptionist call Dakota.  She arrived a few minutes later.

"Why, Mister Howl, back so soon?"

"Yes, I have to talk to one of your electronic ghosts."

"Which one would you like to speak to?"

"Myself, if you don't mind."

"Well, okay, but I have to warn you that it will be a boring conversation.  After all, what do you talk about?"

"You just let me worry about that, ma'am."

"Very well.  Come with me."

She led me to a cubicle that contained a weird looking full-face visor.  "You just sit down here and put the visor on.  I'll punch up your alter ego.  When you're done, simply take off the visor.  You will see him where he is, which can be disorientating.  Just pretend you're really in the room with him.  If you let it become real for you, you'll be far more comfortable."

"I think I'll just stay here", Friday said as I sat down and put the visor on, "And keep an eye on my boss."

"Suit yourself", Dakota said.  I heard her walk off, as I stared at the inside of the dark visor.  A couple of minutes later, it lit up, displaying my name as the login and my name as the recipient.  Then everything changed.

I was sitting in a damaged building.   I could almost smell the soot, the image was so vivid.  Ah...Back in New York, at the beginning of the war, then.  Sitting across from me at a table was a younger version of myself, wearing the uniform of a military policeman.

"Hello", I said to my spectral double.

"What's going on, man?"

"Well, that's what I'm trying to find out.  I'm working a rather ghastly murder case, one in which the victim had appeared to commit suicide."

"You're in Tucson", my other self laughed, "ghastly circumstances are all you have."

"Heh.  Anyway, the police detective assigned to the case spoke with HIS alter ego.  A few hours later, he killed himself in a messy manner.  It ruined my shirt.  In any case, I am trying to figure out why Detective Wilson killed himself.  I have a gut feeling that it's closely tied to the original murder."

"Yeah, Detective Wilson killed himself in here, too.  He stepped in front of a truck."

"And that kills you in this electronic world you live in?"

"Sure.  It's the intent that does it.  When you...I...signed the dotted line, one stipulation in the contract said that we can end our existences any time we please."

"Why DID...um, we...do this?"

"To leave ourselves a message, of course."

"And that message is...?"

"Well, there's the bastard of it.  They can edit you here.  I don't remember it happening, but it must have...Because I can remember that there was a message, but not what that message was."

"Goddammit.  Any idea why Detective Wilson killed himself here AND there?"

"No idea.  Especially here.  I mean, we know we're electronic copies of ourselves, that we're not the 'real' us, but that's not really depressing or anything.  We're self-aware, and as far as I'm concerned, I AM you.  A younger you, back in a place where I mattered.  From my frame of reference, YOU are the copy, and I am the real Hamish.  So it wasn't that.  It must have been something he told himself."

"And you have no way of remembering what the message you had for me was?"

"Nope.  It's gone, as if I had never known it."

"Okay", I said, feeling disappointed, "Well, I'm going to go see if I can't scare up some other leads."

"You take care of ourselves, now", my alter-ego said with a laugh, "I find that I rather like you."

I laughed.  "Still, I gotta go.  I have to make SOME progress, and Friday has a date tonight, so I have to get as much done as I can before 6 PM."

"Friday?  Oh, yeah...She's a TOTAL hottie."

"Lecher."

"HAR!  I'm 20 years younger than you.  It's totally appropriate."

I laughed and took off the visor, breaking the connection.

"I heard your side of the conversation", Friday said, "Maybe you should tell me the rest."

I did so, on the way back out to the car.  We got in, and I drove to the coffee shop.  I needed time to think.

(more today)

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

This story is riveting. On the edge of my seat here.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This story is riveting. On the edge of my seat here.

Thanks.   

At least one more installment today.

[LMNO]

I like how there are all these bits that poke out, and don't really make sense, and the confidence I have in your writing that they're intentional, so it builds the mystery.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Part 7

Later that day, Lauren told me she'd pushed her date back 2 hours, on account of some business we had to handle.

"Business?  What kind of business?"

"Murphy's bar business.  We're going to meet some people."

"What kind of people?"

"High speed murder people."

"Sorry I asked."

We strolled into the bar.  It was a dump, I'm not even gonna describe it except the upholstery on the stools had bite marks everywhere.  Human bite marks.  Ew.

Sitting at the table in the back were two gorgeous dames, wearing overalls and shoulder harnesses.  Judging from the size of the pistol grips, they were packing some serious firepower...And they were both staring at me like I was a ghost.  Friday marched right up to them and set the briefcase on the table.

"You are Sara and Sheila Highsmith?"

"We are, said the taller one."

"I am told you have at least a week to kill.  I have employment for you."

"We're listening."

"My employer", she said, indicating me, is a foolish man in a foolish business.  He needs bodyguarding, because he is silly and does not recognize danger."

"THAT guy", the shorter one said, "Just took a ride in our panzer.  What's he doing now?"

"I think you have mistaken me for someone else", I said, "I have never seen you before in my life."

"This is some kind of gag", the taller one said, "Fuck off."

"If it's a gag, it's an expensive one", Friday said, opening the briefcase to reveal neatly stacked hundred dollar bills.

"Okay", the shorter one said, "We are officially interested again."

"Where the hell did you get...", I began.

Friday gave me her sweet, scary smile.  "Shut up, boss.  I'll explain everything later."  She turned to the sisters.  "Anyway, you will bodyguard Hamish for the next 7 days.  If he is alive at the end of those 7 days, you will get another ten large.  If he is unharmed, an additional 5 grand will be added as a bonus.  Hamish, please sit down and tell these nice ladies what we know so far.  I'm going to go on my DATE!"  She skipped out of the bar.  A moment later, I heard my car start up and leave.

"Your employee is clearly insane.  By the way, I'm Sheila, this is Sara."

"Pleased to meet you.  Hamish Howl, private detective."

"This town is weird, Hamish.  Just this morning, you were some kind of religious guy on the lam."

"Great.  My employee thinks I need protection, and she hires crazy people."

"Well, if you aren't him, you're his twin.  Anyway, the crazy girl said you should tell us what's going on."

So I did.

Meanwhile...

Note:  The next portion was written by Lauren Rae, the person whom I modeled Friday after.  I have tidied things up a bit, but this is all her

Eight o'clock.

Friday is sipping on green tea that has gone cold.  That boy should have been here an hour ago, yet she still waited like a puppy dog on his beck and call.  He was different, she thought.  She could stand to be patient.  He liked ferret throwing and breaking bottles upside his head, yet could recite Robert Frost by heart.  The perfect gentleman suitor.

Not like the others had been, no. This one was a keeper.

She hears a loud bang outside her apartment, as if someone fallen into the door fumbling to open it.  It's Adam, except he looks very disheveled and wild-eyed.  Very different than yesterday.  There was no toothy smile, but a grimace.

"What the fuck are you staring it?", he snapped after he slammed the door that so hard it rattled the thin walls.  Friday was taken aback at the brusqueness of his behavior.  But, as always, boys are silly and must be given a chance to explain themselves. 

"I thought we were going out tonight...You know, your idea."

"No. We are not going out, period.", he hissed, lumbering across the room to plop down on the thrift-store couch.

"And why is that, dear?", she asked playfully.

"Because of what of people have been saying about you, Friday. And frankly I'm fucking embarrassed of what is hanging on my arm when we do go out.  Look at you.  You are a real fucking pathetic mess", his words cutting through the space.

She cleared her throat, glancing down at cheap plastic mug that Hamish had gifted her from his renowned dollar-store spending sprees, and calmly asked, "What have they been saying, my love?"

He scoffed and threw his hands up like it should be evident to her.  "That you are psychotic.  I mean, I'm into some weird shit, but you...", he trailed off.

"Right."

Her motions became immediately stilted and she just stood there clenching her jaw back and forth, staring off into downtown Tucson through the glass.  Deliberating.  All dressed up and a drugged out boyfriend to deal with.  Goody.

He looked at her.  "Say something."

She smirked at his gumption.  He really knows how to press buttons, but this can be dealt with.  Shaking her head for a brief moment, clearing any shred of emotion from her face that happened to be there, she turned and glided over to where he is sitting and bends down to whisper very slowly.  "I can show you magic."

"What?  Did you not hear what I said, you moron?  We are over.  I don'tt want nothin' to do with you and any of your trashy friends."  He looked almost stunned.

Ignoring his statement, she waves away his incessant whining and pulls on his arm to stand him up.  He was like a ragdoll, in some kind of stupor.

"I said, I can show you magic.  You must come to my room, where it's darker."  She gave that eerie smile that freaks out all the scumbag crooked cops at the precinct.

His face kind of softened.  Maybe he'd get a last poke out of her before leaving for good.  He had better things to do, like boning the normal chicks at the University and setting fires.  Three months down the drain on this weirdo.  They made their way into the bedroom and got undressed.  Friday looks at his display and giggles for a second before turning serious.

She raises her hands in front of his face and her fingertips begin to glow faintly, and then get brighter. It was like green fire dancing across her fingertips and he just stood there in trance of it for what seemed like forever.

"How are you doing that?"  He was amazed and more than a little frightened.

"Oh, just something I learned in in another place."  Her eyes narrowed and she laughed.

He just stared and staggered forward a step, like a moth to a flame.  What an idiot.

Before he knew what happened next, she grabbed his member and yanked it off with a single jerk.  He fell shrieking on the floor.  The blood had sprayed all over the ancient shag carpet and he rolled around, shrieking out obscenities. 

"Oh come on, you big baby.  It's not like you were actually going to leave earlier...I saw how you looked at me.  It's just too bad it had to end this way, for you."

"What.. the.. fuck... are.. you.. doing?"

And just like that, Adam was gone, as if he'd never been there.  The room was silent.

"Piece of shit stained my rug", she sighed.

Because that's where he is now.  In to a septic tank in up in Morana.  Where the all the other muck goes.

Friday hops into bed, hugs her stuffed animals tight to her chest and breathes out, smiling, "Goodnight, Hamish."

(to be continued)

[LMNO]

What...  I don't....




....




This is getting really good.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What...  I don't....




....




This is getting really good.

Lauren is actually a damn good writer, when she isn't all strung out on pills.

[LMNO]

There's some tense mix-ups there, not sure if they were intentional.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There's some tense mix-ups there, not sure if they were intentional.

Yeah.  She's protraying herself fucked up on oxy.

In any case, this will totally not take away from the rationalist ending.  I am extremely happy with this.

[Junkenstein]

Loved part 6, keep it coming.

[Eater of Clowns]

Oh yeah, it's like a big pile of squirming reality that makes complete sense and shouldn't. Great work, Roger (and Lauren). 

[Pæs]

I have no idea what is happening but would like it to continue.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I have no idea what is happening but would like it to continue.

And it will.  The original story idea is about 2/3rds of the way done, but I have some new ideas to incorporate it, so call it halfway.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Whoa, this is complicated... and interesting. Bill Gates? Man out of time, unless there's something really interesting going on here with compression of time and retrospective hallucination?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

We strolled into the bar.  It was a dump, I'm not even gonna describe it except the upholstery on the stools had bite marks everywhere.  Human bite marks.  Ew.

This shit is magic.

She raises her hands in front of his face and her fingertips begin to glow faintly, and then get brighter. It was like green fire dancing across her fingertips and he just stood there in trance of it for what seemed like forever.

We need a volunteer from the audience.

Before he knew what happened next, she grabbed his member and yanked it off with a single jerk.  He fell shrieking on the floor.  The blood had sprayed all over the ancient shag carpet and he rolled around, shrieking out obscenities.

Voila and ta-da!

Excellent. *wild applause and rose bouquets*