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dr. Nipplebutter's center for Special Snowflakes

Started by Chelagoras The Boulder, July 09, 2014, 10:07:09 PM

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Chelagoras The Boulder

So this is a sketch i'm writing for my friends and I to post on Youtube. I like it so far but it needs... something. maybe a few things. Thought i'd post what i've got here and get some feedback. enjoy.

=========================================

Do you feel victimized? Even when you're not?
Do you need attention? Like, all the time?
Does your need for attention cause you to paradoxically alienate and attack people who might otherwise be interested in helping you?

Hello Internet, I'm Dr. Nipplebutter, and if you answered yes to these questions, you may be suffering from SSS, or Special Snowflake Syndrome.

Special Snowflake Syndrome is a mental disorder that causes sufferers to believe that their own unique self-identity is somehow more important and deserving of attention than other oppressed groups.

Symptoms of SSS can include:
•   Mood Swings
•   Sudden and irrational anger
•   Butthurt
•   An inflated sense of self
•   A victimhood complex that is ungrounded in reality
•   The inability to talk to or work with cisgendered individuals
•   Using imaginary pronouns such as xer or xis
•   An obsession with an increasingly esoteric and exclusionary self-identity
•   A compulsion to both share this identity with others while also flaming others for not sharing this identity.
SSS affects over 110% of all Tumblr users. Call your doctor today.

Unfortunately, because self-identity is a natural process that everyone goes through, there is no cure for SSS, however there is hope. Through treatment, sufferers of SSS can learn to keep that shit to themselves, because this is the internet, and no one cares.

If you or someone you share the internet with suffers from SSS, please stop listening to them immediately.

Woman: I identify as a silver he-wolf that wishes he was a black she-bear. But thanks to the treatment, no one has rolled their eyes at me in weeks! Thanks, Dr. Nipplebutter!

Man: Before Dr. Nipple Butter's treatment, I would spend all day on Tumblr trying to convince people that the fact that I REALLY want to be a dragon was somehow EXACTLY the same as homophobia in America. After several sessions of repeating that exact thought out loud, I was able to realize how dumb that sounds. Finally, I have come to terms with my disease! I owe my life to Dr. Nipplebutter

Man: Once when I was a child, my friends and I would play pretend. One day, I pretended I was a pretty pink pony and I didn't stop for twenty years. Thanks to the treatment, I can finally talk to my coworkers without neighing. Thanks Doc!
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Q. G. Pennyworth


Raz Tech

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 09, 2014, 10:54:36 PM
why is this targeted at trans folks?

I wouldn't say it's targeted specifically at trans folks, so much as it's targeted at the subset of trans-people, bronies, furries, hardcore feminists, pansexuals, and homosexuals that use increasingly complicated means to identify themselves as something other than the "norm".  Then when something becomes too norm they're the ones who make up new qualifiers to further separate themselves from the society that they are seeking acceptance or tolerance from.

I'm not sure that came out right, basically it's not aimed at a group as a whole, but the more screchy part of that group.

Shit I don't know of that came out right either.  Suffice it to say that it's the internet, and everyone will interpret everything you say in whatever way they want, regardless of the intentions.

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote•   The inability to talk to or work with cisgendered individuals
•   Using imaginary pronouns such as xer or xis

If you're not trying to target trans folks, I would edit these to either be more general or more specific to a crazy outlier group.

Chelagoras The Boulder

I'm not trying to target trans folks, (one of the reason i decided to post this here was to see if it could be taken that way), i'm targeting a specific subset of SJWs who are obsessed with promoting their own "unique" self-identity as a type of subculture that is so cool that they're the only ones allowed in. The reason i'm trying to target them specifically is that their bullshit often clouds and even blocks legitimate LGBTQI discussions, usually on tumblr. This is actually already an existing meme, see here:

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/special-snowflake-syndrome

as for the Xer/Xis thing, i'd only ever seen it used in the context of tumblr, so i assumed it belonged to these groups.

"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Chelagoras The Boulder

"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Chelagoras The Lust-Driven Dickwolf on July 10, 2014, 02:58:08 AM
I'm not trying to target trans folks, (one of the reason i decided to post this here was to see if it could be taken that way), i'm targeting a specific subset of SJWs who are obsessed with promoting their own "unique" self-identity as a type of subculture that is so cool that they're the only ones allowed in. The reason i'm trying to target them specifically is that their bullshit often clouds and even blocks legitimate LGBTQI discussions, usually on tumblr. This is actually already an existing meme, see here:

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/special-snowflake-syndrome

as for the Xer/Xis thing, i'd only ever seen it used in the context of tumblr, so i assumed it belonged to these groups.

I'd take out the agender pronoun thing, and the mention of cisgender, as they are not Tumblr-specific and seem to target trans and agender people.

The rest of it, yeah, that seems to address the people I generally refer to as Fuck You I'm A Dragon, because their main issue seems to be a deep need to feel More Special Than You.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Chelagoras The Lust-Driven Dickwolf on July 10, 2014, 03:00:16 AM
basically, this sums up the people i'm talking about:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx0a8hlylq1qak6tio1_500.png

A subset of this is guys who seriously refer to themselves as "Relationship Queer" and consider themselves part of queer culture because they have open marriages and fuck lots of different women.

I'm not making this up. They think they're part of a socially oppressed minority. Poor things.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 10, 2014, 04:34:35 AM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Lust-Driven Dickwolf on July 10, 2014, 03:00:16 AM
basically, this sums up the people i'm talking about:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx0a8hlylq1qak6tio1_500.png

A subset of this is guys who seriously refer to themselves as "Relationship Queer" and consider themselves part of queer culture because they have open marriages and fuck lots of different women.

I'm not making this up. They think they're part of a socially oppressed minority. Poor things.

Especially funny because historically swinger communities have been pretty cruel to queer folks (attractive bisexual women aside).

Chelagoras The Boulder

Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 10, 2014, 04:34:35 AM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Lust-Driven Dickwolf on July 10, 2014, 03:00:16 AM
basically, this sums up the people i'm talking about:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx0a8hlylq1qak6tio1_500.png

A subset of this is guys who seriously refer to themselves as "Relationship Queer" and consider themselves part of queer culture because they have open marriages and fuck lots of different women.

I'm not making this up. They think they're part of a socially oppressed minority. Poor things.
THIS. OP needs MOAR THIS^
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Chelagoras The Boulder

in all seriousness, if anyone has any similarly terrible special snowflake stories, please share. There are so many layers to this terrible terrible onion.
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 10, 2014, 05:31:27 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 10, 2014, 04:34:35 AM
Quote from: Chelagoras The Lust-Driven Dickwolf on July 10, 2014, 03:00:16 AM
basically, this sums up the people i'm talking about:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx0a8hlylq1qak6tio1_500.png

A subset of this is guys who seriously refer to themselves as "Relationship Queer" and consider themselves part of queer culture because they have open marriages and fuck lots of different women.

I'm not making this up. They think they're part of a socially oppressed minority. Poor things.

Especially funny because historically swinger communities have been pretty cruel to queer folks (attractive bisexual women aside).

Yeah, the level of privilege-soaked irony is spectacular. Tell them that and watch the screeching begin, though.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."



Salty

The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Chelagoras The Boulder

To be fair, Grown Up Cat Man looks decidedly happier than Grown up Normal Man
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."