I'm eventually going to have to leave Boston forever.

[LMNO]

Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?

Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8.  The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 °F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 °F.  The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.

Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5.  The January daily average is 33.0 °F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 °F during thaws and dips to 10 °F. July averages 78.1 °F.  Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in.  Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

She described life here as being set on hard mode which, you know, is kinda subjective.

Can I suggest that you need to dig a little more into that? Uprooting from a place you like for fuzzy reasons (which may well travel with you if you don't deal with the real/root cause) doesn't sound like a good move.

Considering you've chosen your education based on the employability in the area, it may just be a different part of town you need to move to.

I've suggested that, or moving to a different part of Massachusetts, or to a commutable area of southern New England. She'd be ok with Newport, Rhode Island, if the amount of salary to cost wasn't worse than Boston. But, ability to commute to a city seems to be something doable (indeed, necessary, really if I'm to get a job.)

I've tried to feel around and see if there was any possible way to stay, but that's not happening. She's leaving. If I want to join her, I can. If I want to grad school here, I can, but she won't be here for it.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?


Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8.  The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 °F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 °F.  The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.

Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5.  The January daily average is 33.0 °F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 °F during thaws and dips to 10 °F. July averages 78.1 °F.  Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in.  Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.

She fucking hates Boston. At least Philly is not Boston and kinda far from it.

[Junkenstein]

So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Hang on a minute.

Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.

I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.

People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.

[Suu]

So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Tampa.

I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?

[Suu]

Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?


Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8.  The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 °F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 °F.  The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.

Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5.  The January daily average is 33.0 °F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 °F during thaws and dips to 10 °F. July averages 78.1 °F.  Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in.  Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.

She fucking hates Boston. At least Philly is not Boston and kinda far from it.

Philly is fucking horrible. The end.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Hang on a minute.

Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.

I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.

People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.

She hates relying on it for work. She's only done that since working in the medical area. There's just no parking. That's more tied in with her job than anything. Which happens to be in Boston. Which she kinda fucking hates.

She started hating it here, apparently, since she moved out of her parents house. She doesn't really like her neighbors, she doesn't really like the neighborhood. She wants to live in a quiet area.

Conversely, I prefer public transportation because of its cheapness and lower environmental impact. I'd rather that than needing a car.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Tampa.

I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?

I did. Phone posting, had to clarify the sitch. I might be willing to do that. It would also be convenient for when we're retired. I'll have to look into it more. Disadvantage is distance from both Boston and Ireland.

[LMNO]

The way I see it, a place with a low cost of living for rent/supplies will usually not offer anything substantial in terms of jobs in the biology fields.  This would imply either getting a job in the area that is not in biology (which could easily mean a reduced income, making the low cost of living moot), or getting a job with an extended commute, adding both social and financial cost (social cost = a daily 2 hour+ commute reduces time spent as a couple), again rendering the cost of living meaningless.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Hang on a minute.

Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.

I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.

People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.

I think that I should point out that since she and I realize this is probably the biggest decision we'll ever make together, we know we're going to have to compromise quite a bit, and weigh the pros and cons. Her most important parameter is that she fucking hates Boston. Mine are there's no fucking way I'm moving to California, and the further we move from Boston, if it also involves moving further away from Ireland, the less happy I'm going to be about it. Unless both dad and grandpa die in the next three years at which point I have no particularly strong reason to go there, since I'll probably start vacationing in Boston instead.

[Suu]

It sounds to me like she doesn't have a clue of the world outside of Boston. Moving to New Hampshire from Providence has DRIVEN ME FUCKING CRAZY. Not because it's not nice here, because it is, but the lack of convenient anything sucks. Remember that if you choose to leave the hub, because once you're out, it's a different world.

[Suu]

So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Tampa.

I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?

I did. Phone posting, had to clarify the sitch. I might be willing to do that. It would also be convenient for when we're retired. I'll have to look into it more. Disadvantage is distance from both Boston and Ireland.

2 international airports, access to I-75 and I-4, and a full service Amtrak station.

[LMNO]

Ok.  So, the default response here seems to be she "fucking hates Boston".

I think you two are going to have to unpack that.  A lot.  The initial reasons about why she hates it are immediately contradicted by her willingness to live in essentially the same city, but with a worse crime rate (Philly).

A gut reaction to a place is fine, but for a major life change such as this, you both need to know what's triggering that reaction.  Because it's not "snow/cost of living/people suck/public transportation".

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The way I see it, a place with a low cost of living for rent/supplies will usually not offer anything substantial in terms of jobs in the biology fields.  This would imply either getting a job in the area that is not in biology (which could easily mean a reduced income, making the low cost of living moot), or getting a job with an extended commute, adding both social and financial cost (social cost = a daily 2 hour+ commute reduces time spent as a couple), again rendering the cost of living meaningless.

I agree with you. It's probably going to come down to getting a car, or her dropping me off at a bus stop. I'm not in anyway at this point willing to make my biology degree moot. I went back to school mostly for her. I'm not starting over again, so I'm going to be a biologist one way or another.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It sounds to me like she doesn't have a clue of the world outside of Boston. Moving to New Hampshire from Providence has DRIVEN ME FUCKING CRAZY. Not because it's not nice here, because it is, but the lack of convenient anything sucks. Remember that if you choose to leave the hub, because once you're out, it's a different world.

That's very much crossed my mind. And the last thing I want to happen is to move to a place that a couple of months in decides is not for her, but now I'm in grad school and now we're stuck there and neither of us want to be there.