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Boris Johnson

Started by Cain, August 07, 2014, 01:46:22 PM

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Cain

Calling it now.  Boris has announced a return to Parliament this week.  Cameron's embattered, will take Boris to offset bad press with regards to Warsi and the Lib Dems re: Gaza.

Should the Tories get back in, Boris will end up with a suitable cabinet seat.  I'm thinking former Mayor of London has a nice Home Office ring to it.  But, should Cameron falter, and the knives come out, the Tory backbenchers will install Boris without hesitation.  And this will happen, eventually.  Maybe if Cameron loses the election.

But Boris has been planning this for forever.  He's got the public support, and the backbencher support.  Everyone thinks he's a clown, and he is a clown, but one with very sound political judgement.  He will be PM, one day.

LMNO

This is the first I've heard of him.  Granted, it's because I'm a Murrican't.

Would any google search do, or is there a specific article I should be reading?

Cain

#2
Everything you need to know about Boris can be found in this video.  Also this page.

Also you probably know who he is, but don't know his name.  You may recall him from the Olympics?

LMNO

That guy is slick.  Offering himself up as a target for good-natured deprication, getting people to laugh, and perhaps not judge him too harshly. Methinks he'd be one hell of a sneaky politician.

Cain

That's the thing though.  Everyone thinks themselves in the know and clever, for thinking Boris Johnson pretends to be affable yet stupid.  But people who have worked with him for many years, including at least one seasoned political observer (Ian Hislop) don't think it's an act, and say that he is genuinely an idiot.

It's like Dumbledore in HPMoR.

"You see, Mr. Potter, everyone knows that Dumbledore's madness is a mask, that he is sane pretending to be insane. They pride themselves on that clever insight, and knowing the secret explanation, they stop looking. It does not occur to them that it is also possible to have a mask behind the mask, to be insane pretending to be sane pretending to be insane."

LMNO

Well, from what I can tell, if he does become PM, that position seems to automatically make one an idiot, so.

Reginald Ret

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 07, 2014, 04:23:02 PM
Well, from what I can tell, if he does become PM, that position seems to automatically make one an idiot, so.
:lol:
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Junkenstein

Currently travelling. Short version is dolt with very good handlers. Used as PR goon, friendly face of Tories, all bullshit and mirrors. See broom stunt where the fucker never swept a thing post riots. Chances for power/pm disturbing mainly as possible. Will not take bets, rumors of courting UK IP too, unsure of accuracy, if true again disturbing.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Cain

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 07, 2014, 04:23:02 PM
Well, from what I can tell, if he does become PM, that position seems to automatically make one an idiot, so.

But even then, there is the question of whether the office of PM caps intelligence, or causes an active reduction.  I mean, Boris hasn't got a lot to work with in the first place, so a reduction would be terrible...

Reginald Ret

Quote from: Cain on August 08, 2014, 08:24:07 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 07, 2014, 04:23:02 PM
Well, from what I can tell, if he does become PM, that position seems to automatically make one an idiot, so.

But even then, there is the question of whether the office of PM caps intelligence, or causes an active reduction.  I mean, Boris hasn't got a lot to work with in the first place, so a reduction would be terrible...
:lol: :lol:
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)


Junkenstein

Right, time for a more detailed exposition of this fuckers failings.

To begin with, the broom escapade. In the wake of the London Riots, his handlers decided it would be excellent PR to get him out on the streets showing face. Where better than affected areas where civic minded residents had taken the cleanup into their own hands and started brushing shit up. Some wag quipped "Where's your broom?" which led to him waving one around. Most coverage stops at this point. Man has broom, will obviously be doing some brushing, right? No. A couple of waves, a few good shots and he's out of it. Brush head and sweeping at no point seem to occur, but by gods that curried some good favour with the locals. Well, the ones not immediately present to watch him fuck off without lifting a finger anyway.

In a few ways, that's pretty much his entire political career.

He's got plenty of form for turning nasty when handlers aren't watching him.
http://www.thejournal.ie/boris-johnson-grilled-bbc-eddie-mair-video-843503-Mar2013/
This can't be fairly called a "grilling". It's fairly basic questions with known answers which are ineptly avoided.

QuoteAppearing on BBC's Andrew Marr Show, Johnson was questioned about allegations in a new documentary that he made up quotes when he was a journalist, lied to former Tory party leader Michael Howard about an affair and provided an address to a friend who wanted to have someone beaten up.
Johnson looked visibly uncomfortable as the questions were put to him by presenter Eddie Mair and at one point said: "Why don't we talk about something else?"
Mair suggested to the mayor: "You're a nasty piece of work aren't you?" but Johnson disputed "all of those things" saying that Mair's "interpretation" of the allegations was unfair.

All of those 3 have a fair bit of evidence backing them up. They're pretty much just the tip of the shitberg too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Johnson#Controversies

Wyatt affair:
QuoteThis resulted in her mother discovering the affair and reporting it to the press.[123] Johnson was sacked from his shadow cabinet post by Michael Howard, not because of the affair but because he had lied about it.[123]

Damian Green Arrest/fuckery (Still stinks, just another non-crime in the UK)

QuoteJohnson was informed in advance of the arrest of Conservative MP Damian Green and told acting Metropolitan Police Commissioner Paul Stephenson that he did not regard the arrest as 'common sense policing'.[126] A spokesman for Johnson says he told Stephenson he would need to see "convincing evidence that this action was necessary and proportionate," and that it would be better for police to spend their time preventing gun and knife crimes.[127] As chair of the Metropolitan Police Authority, Johnson's position means he is not permitted to be involved in operational matters. Additionally Johnson is prohibited by Section 3, Paragraph 2(d) of the London Assembly Code of Conduct from doing anything that compromises the impartiality of a police officer


Which he has done on more than a few occasions.

QuoteJohnson admitted to telephoning Green after he had been bailed, an action which Duvall, a former Metropolitan Police Authority chairman, described as "absolutely astonishing and inappropriate," while Stephenson said it would be "entirely inappropriate" to prejudge an inquiry. Johnson had stated that he "had a 'hunch'" that Green would not be charged

And he wasn't. Nothing suspicious here, certainly no need to comment on press/political/police links  at all.

"Chicken feed" remark
QuoteIn a July 2009 interview with Stephen Sackur on the BBC programme HARDtalk, Johnson referred to the £250,000 per annum income he receives from his side job as a columnist for The Daily Telegraph as "chicken feed," suggesting that he wrote the columns "as a way of relaxation ... on a Sunday morning," and that he wrote "very fast" so the columns did not take time away from his duties as Mayor

Yet despite these, any many, many more his image in general is good. He turns up on any TV show that invites him, makes a couple of apparently self deprecating comments and the public lap it up. He's an old Etonian boy but "one of us because he did X thing". No. No he is not.

What he is, is the conservative version of Blair.

Cameron is too tainted from the coalition and Austerity shit to stand a realistic chance. Most of the sitting cabinet are either reviled or considered with apathy at best. Boris is the Smiler, waiting to the side to solve problems and "bring the party together". By that I mean "Perpetuate the two man con further". His political views are notable mainly in their obviously centrist appeal. Ignoring the lean to the right, pretty much everything he is for/against ties up uncannily closely to whatever polls say the public is for/against. He even tailors the lean depending on which particular journalistic outfit he's pandering too at the time.


Watch the little shit. He's got a reasonable chance of getting serious power and gods knows that he'll just fuck it up.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

There was also this, pre-leveson:

QuoteCity Halls' monitoring officer has disclosed to opposition members of the London Assembly that details of the meetings, published by Political Scrapbook two weeks ago and also scheduled to include Rebekah Brooks and Will Lewis, were placed in an obscure corner of the London.gov.uk website on 1 November 2011 — ten months after they took place and four months after a freedom of information request was made to obtain the data.

In just one session of Mayor's Question Time, Boris Johnson described phone-hacking as:

"a load of codswallop cooked up by the Labour Party"
"patently politically motivated"
"a politically motivated put up job"
"completely spurious and political"
"a song and dance about nothing"
"whipped up by the Guardian and the Labour Party"
http://politicalscrapbook.net/2012/07/boris-johnson-rupert-murdoch-meeting-cover-up-ten-months/

Again, no comment really required on press/political/police links. I say links, I mean chains. Chains that would make Jacob Marley say "That's a hefty fucking chain you've got there".
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

You know, the more I think of this arse, the more failings I recall.

Remember the 3 watercannons that had to be bought RIGHT NOW because the salesmen really needed to make his commission target?

I do.

These were in no way purchased as a future measure against further riots and austerity. These are also in no way legal in the UK. No-one seems to give too much a fuck about that though, protesters obviously deserve it.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

LMNO

Quote"You're a nasty piece of work aren't you?"

That seems to sum it up pretty well.