Open Bar: Arguments About Turtles, All the Way Down

[Junkenstein]

Well I was going to suggest slaving a series of segways together for each book but that seemed somewhat costly.

I hear you've got plenty of kids over there looking for work experience. Take on an intern. That's got to be the best way. Hell, you could take on a few and get yourself a sedan chair.

This is pretty much why I tend to abstain from open bar threads.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Now THAT's the kind of unsolicited impractical advice I can get behind.

I need to start doing that to everyone.

You seriously should, because so many people do it with absolute sincerity that it would be hilarious.

Facebook is the worst. I always forget that if I ever complain about anything, or even simply comment on something mundane, generally at least 5 people (most of whom don't even really know me and know nothing about the larger context of my complaint) will offer the most infuriatingly inapplicable advice, usually in the format "why don't you just...?" and then fifteen minutes later I realize that I'm in a conversation where I'm explaining minute details of my life that nobody cares about and are nobody's business to near-strangers.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well I was going to suggest slaving a series of segways together for each book but that seemed somewhat costly.

I hear you've got plenty of kids over there looking for work experience. Take on an intern. That's got to be the best way. Hell, you could take on a few and get yourself a sedan chair.

This is pretty much why I tend to abstain from open bar threads.

There, there. I know you meant well. 

[Doktor Howl]

Now THAT's the kind of unsolicited impractical advice I can get behind.

I need to start doing that to everyone.

You seriously should, because so many people do it with absolute sincerity that it would be hilarious.

Facebook is the worst. I always forget that if I ever complain about anything, or even simply comment on something mundane, generally at least 5 people (most of whom don't even really know me and know nothing about the larger context of my complaint) will offer the most infuriatingly inapplicable advice, usually in the format "why don't you just...?" and then fifteen minutes later I realize that I'm in a conversation where I'm explaining minute details of my life that nobody cares about and are nobody's business to near-strangers.

I think we need to gin up two absolutely absurd tales of woe that have no real answer.  Then you and I should each post one and compare the results.  My hypothesis is that you, being female, will receive WAY more stupid/condescending advice.

[LMNO]

Nigel, why don't you just memorize all your textbooks?  Sheesh, make an effort, why don't ya.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"Aw, it started raining, I guess I'm not going to the beach this weekend after all"

"Why don't you just get a raincoat and go anyway?"

"Why not go to the beach and have a picnic in your car?"

"Is it still warm enough to go swimming? If you're going to be getting wet anyway you might as well"

"Why can't you go to the museum again... you can look at beach paintings there?"

"Have you thought about getting an umbrella?"

"The beach is still nice when it's raining, why not just go anyway?"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Now THAT's the kind of unsolicited impractical advice I can get behind.

I need to start doing that to everyone.

You seriously should, because so many people do it with absolute sincerity that it would be hilarious.

Facebook is the worst. I always forget that if I ever complain about anything, or even simply comment on something mundane, generally at least 5 people (most of whom don't even really know me and know nothing about the larger context of my complaint) will offer the most infuriatingly inapplicable advice, usually in the format "why don't you just...?" and then fifteen minutes later I realize that I'm in a conversation where I'm explaining minute details of my life that nobody cares about and are nobody's business to near-strangers.

I think we need to gin up two absolutely absurd tales of woe that have no real answer.  Then you and I should each post one and compare the results.  My hypothesis is that you, being female, will receive WAY more stupid/condescending advice.

I love this idea.

[Doktor Howl]

"Aw, it started raining, I guess I'm not going to the beach this weekend after all"

"Why don't you just get a raincoat and go anyway?"

"Why not go to the beach and have a picnic in your car?"

"Is it still warm enough to go swimming? If you're going to be getting wet anyway you might as well"

"Why can't you go to the museum again... you can look at beach paintings there?"

"Have you thought about getting an umbrella?"

"The beach is still nice when it's raining, why not just go anyway?"

[Doktor Howl]

Now THAT's the kind of unsolicited impractical advice I can get behind.

I need to start doing that to everyone.

You seriously should, because so many people do it with absolute sincerity that it would be hilarious.

Facebook is the worst. I always forget that if I ever complain about anything, or even simply comment on something mundane, generally at least 5 people (most of whom don't even really know me and know nothing about the larger context of my complaint) will offer the most infuriatingly inapplicable advice, usually in the format "why don't you just...?" and then fifteen minutes later I realize that I'm in a conversation where I'm explaining minute details of my life that nobody cares about and are nobody's business to near-strangers.

I think we need to gin up two absolutely absurd tales of woe that have no real answer.  Then you and I should each post one and compare the results.  My hypothesis is that you, being female, will receive WAY more stupid/condescending advice.

I love this idea.

I say we invent each other's problems.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel, why don't you just memorize all your textbooks?  Sheesh, make an effort, why don't ya.

I'm working on it, but it will take me approximately three months.

[Suu]

Today's new conspiracy theory on the internet:

When Ebola goes epidemic in the US because it's going to mutate and go airborne, Obama and all the politicians have a hidden city in the mountain. Food trucks are going there right now.

[Doktor Howl]

Today's new conspiracy theory on the internet:

When Ebola goes epidemic in the US because it's going to mutate and go airborne, Obama and all the politicians have a hidden city in the mountain. Food trucks are going there right now.

Weren't you just saying that politics don't make you crazy?   

[Cain]

Well, to be fair, they do have a hidden city in the mountain.  It's called the Cheyenne Mountain Nuclear Bunker.

However, it's hardly a secret, as it was the setting for Stargate-SG1 for eleventy billion seasons of airtime.  Once again, conspiracy theorists have rediscovered the wheel, and are insisting anyone who does not recognise their genuis in rediscovering the wheel are secret government shills.

[Suu]

Today's new conspiracy theory on the internet:

When Ebola goes epidemic in the US because it's going to mutate and go airborne, Obama and all the politicians have a hidden city in the mountain. Food trucks are going there right now.

Weren't you just saying that politics don't make you crazy?   

I've decided I need to take a long break from Facebook, especially comment reading. It's making me believe that this entire state is full of conspiracy theorists. Bad. Hence all the cat pictures. Seriously, New Hampshire, I thought you were going to be smarter than this.

[hooplala]

Live free, or die.