Norway says No to Olympic Games.

[Junkenstein]

That needs to be an emote.

[Cain]

Alexander Stubb has a very emote-worthy face, I agree.

He's also not, as far as I can telll, actually insane, which puts him well above most heads of state.  Though he does want to abandon Finland's neutrality and join NATO, for some reason.

[Junkenstein]

Anyone see the statement from the IOC? I believe the correct term is "Butthurt"

http://www.olympic.org/news/ioc-statement/238610

"This is a missed opportunity for the City of Oslo and for all the people of Norway who are known world-wide for being huge fans of winter sports. And it is mostly a missed opportunity for the outstanding Norwegian athletes who will not be able to reach new Olympic heights in their home country.

It is a missed opportunity to make the most of the 880 million dollars investment the IOC would have made to the Games that would have built a considerable legacy for the people. In addition, national sponsorship rights granted by the IOC would have delivered a considerable sum and almost certainly substantially more than the 181 million dollars estimated in the bid. The most recent editions of the Olympic Winter Games (for instance Vancouver and Sochi), which have all either broken even or made a profit, have made  sponsorship revenue four times higher than that.

Earlier this year the Norwegian bid team asked for a meeting with the IOC for an explanation of all aspects of the IOC requirements, including the financial details, and the IOC arranged this for all three bid cities in order to ensure fair play amongst the three bids. Unfortunately, Oslo sent neither a senior member of the bid team nor a government official to this meeting. For this reason senior politicians in Norway appear not to have been properly briefed on the process and were left to take their decisions on the basis of half-truths and factual inaccuracies.

For a country of such means, full of so many successful athletes and so many fanatical winter sports fans it is a pity that Oslo will miss out on this great opportunity to invest in its future and show the world what it has to offer.

We will work closely with the Olympic Movement in Norway to make the Lillehammer Winter Youth Olympic Games in 2016 a success for the young athletes.

I really do hope we get into a situation where only single party states get to host any Olympic events. It just seems more honest somehow.

[The Johnny]

Such missed opportunity, very sad. 

[Junkenstein]

It was this:

The most recent editions of the Olympic Winter Games (for instance Vancouver and Sochi), which have all either broken even or made a profit, have made  sponsorship revenue four times higher than that.

that made me piss myself. Seriously, using Sochi as an example of success? Really? I seem to recall some journalists having trouble with, well, everything.

[Cain]

I'm not even sure why the IOC are so buttburt over this.  I mean, yes, Norway has its fair share of financial shadiness going on, but it is still, essentially, a first-world country with a mostly independent and functioning judiciary, and with laws against corruption.

Since corruption is what the IOC runs on, this was never gonna fly.  I suppose though it could just be reputational "how dare Norway turn us down" etc etc.

[Junkenstein]

Well with the choices now being China or Kazakhstan being the remaining options they should be right at home.

[EK WAFFLR]

http://www.businessinsider.com/ioc-demands-perks-from-2022-olympic-hosts-2014-10


Some of the demands from IOC:

1. The IOC hotel must be rated at either four or five stars (a higher rating than any other client group at the Olympics).

2. The IOC hotel must offer: "A full international hot breakfast buffet for up to two occupants for each room (included in the room rate), catering services for IOC events, and 24-hour room service.

3. The hotel must have a members lounge to be used exclusively by IOC members. If there is no members lounge, the hotel has to install one at its own cost.

4. Doves must be released after the parade of athletes but before the head of the Olympic organizing committee speaks at the Opening Ceremony.

5. Signs around the city telling people where to go should be in sans-serif font and "be conceived as part of the Look."

6. "100% security screening of passengers and their baggage is required prior to entry into the IOC Hotel." This is not a requirement at other hotels.

7. The venues must be designed such that IOC members and guests are "segregated from press and broadcast" personnel.

8. Every IOC member gets a plus-one at the Opening Ceremony.

9. IOC members must be greeted by "smiling, positive, and welcoming staff" at the airport.

10. Starting two weeks before the Olympics, no street vendors are allowed.

11. IOC meeting rooms must be air-conditioned to 20 degrees Celsius (68 degrees Fahrenheit).

12. "The IOC Hotel must make available at no extra cost, existing sport facilities such as fitness facilities, swimming pool and sauna facilities to all IOC Hotel guests and IOC staff members."

13. Private cars must be provided to select IOC members at the expense of the Olympic organizing committee.

14. Volunteer drivers for IOC members must speak fluent English or French and be available to work up to 10 hours a day for six days a week.

Not mentioned in this article:

15. OC members demand to meet King Harald before the opening ceremony. Afterwards, they will have a cocktail reception, where the drinks are to be paid by the Royal Family or possibly the Norwegian Olympic Committee.


There was also a (highly likely) rumour going that the IOC demanded the prostitution laws to be set aside during the olympics.

[Cain]

I'm surprised they didn't ask for their own exclusive car lanes.  They had those in London, you know.  It was pathetic and craven enough that I ran away to Poland, in shame of my adopted homeland.

[EK WAFFLR]

I'm surprised they didn't ask for their own exclusive car lanes.  They had those in London, you know.  It was pathetic and craven enough that I ran away to Poland, in shame of my adopted homeland.

They did, actually.

[Eater of Clowns]

16.  IOC members are not to be looked directly in the eye. Offenders must be immediately taken from IOC members' vicinities for eye removal.

17.  IOC members must be served only pure grain alcohol to protect their precious fluids.

18.  IOC members shall not be addressed as "sir," or "ma'am" as their true titles are Beyond the Tongues of Man.

19.  The walking paths of IOC members must be anointed seven times with the ritual oils at the expense of the common folk.

20.  No member of the IOC shall be exposed to the color yellow at any point in their stay. Yellow is beneath them.

[Eater of Clowns]

45.  No mention is to be made of the IOC members grotesque, elongated tongues as they lap up the blood of lambs during the midnight feasts. Lamb blood to be provided at expense of royal family.

[Junkenstein]

15 is amazing. "We want to meet the king for a piss up and it's on him".

Can't help but think that this was just amazingly lazy negotiation planning from the IOC.

"Who's in the running this year?"
"Norway, China and Kazakhstan"
"Oh. Well. Duh. Guess that's obvious then, huh?"
"Yeah, obvious. Kazakhstan."
(General laughter)
"Anyway, Ring Norway and um and ah a bit. Remind them China did a lovely olympics a while back and say they're being very accommodating. Let's see how much we can take the piss here"
"Yeah, no street vendors for fucks sake. Grotty little merchants"
"And make sure the drivers speak fucking english this time too"
"And decent hotels. Fucking sochi, Christ, don't need that shit again"
"Yeah there had best be a fucking pool and shit around this time. That was just embarrasing."
"I wanna meet the king for drinks"
"Ok add that to the list. He can fucking pay for them too"
"Yeah, what are they going to do about it all exactly anyway? Withdraw their bid?
(General laughter)
"But seriously, where the fuck is Kazakhstan anyway? Is that a Russian thing? Arab? Am I close?"
"Is it even cold there?"
"Ah, forget about it, it's not like we're going to even try and go there".

[Cain]

I'm surprised they didn't ask for their own exclusive car lanes.  They had those in London, you know.  It was pathetic and craven enough that I ran away to Poland, in shame of my adopted homeland.

They did, actually.

Ha ha!  You had pretty much the "full treatment" then.

And EoC thinks he's being satirical, but I suspect there's more truth than exaggeration in his list.

[EK WAFFLR]

I'm surprised they didn't ask for their own exclusive car lanes.  They had those in London, you know.  It was pathetic and craven enough that I ran away to Poland, in shame of my adopted homeland.

They did, actually.

Ha ha!  You had pretty much the "full treatment" then.

And EoC thinks he's being satirical, but I suspect there's more truth than exaggeration in his list.

I found his satire to be slightly less megalomaniac than the actual demands from IOC, and I've only read a few of the 7000 pages.