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Sometimes I rattle the cage and beat my head uselessly against its bars, but sometimes, I can shake one loose and use it as a dildo.

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!textburns results !! WARNING: CONTAINS NSFW HYPERLINKS !!

Started by Bu🤠ns, October 07, 2014, 06:09:46 AM

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Bu🤠ns

I wrote a script for the IRC bot that will text message me whenever someone types: !textburns <text>

Here's what was sent since July 23rd.

I substituted characters for the parties involved.

DON'T FORGET THAT SOME OF THE LINKS ARE NSFW.




http://files.g4tv.com/ImageDb3/289306_S/even-batman-poops.jpg



http://shitporn.org/galleries/fresh-brown-shit/base/brown-shit-fullsized-pic-15.jpg



poop pooop poopity poop | Oct 4



DOES THIS WORK TOO | Oct 4



burns PEEEE | Oct 4



Goooooodddddmoooorrrrrniiing Viiiiieeeeetnaaam! | Oct 2



find the hidden dong http://media.cmgdigital.com/shared/lt/lt_cache/thumbnail/960/img/photos/2013/01/11/d4/b3/51bJaEAaAYL._SL500_AA300_.jpg | Oct 2



http://englishmum.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/oh-shit.jpg | Oct 2



http://eurokulture.missouri.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/vladimir-putin-riding-bear.jpg | Oct 1



http://www.drfloras.com/wp-content/themes/drfloras/images/DrFloras-colon-cleansing-day-8-pop-2nd.jpg | Sep 27



http://www.imgur.com/7LGBe2P.jpg | Sep 26



goes out | Sep 25



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttekLBqa6sQ | Sep 25



8 D | Sep 25



http://youtu.be/XgbU_8Fxv6k?t=3m18s | Sep 25



http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/9/7/4/318974_v1.jpg | Sep 22



http://i.imgur.com/YwFNU8T.jpg careful when this is flying about as you sleep | Sep 22



https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ByAMLSgCYAAy178.jpg | Sep 20



eris hey what's the deal with people thinking a microwave can charge their cellular devices | Sep 20



http://www.mum.org/violet1.jpg | Sep 20



burns | Sep 20



http://streaming.crocreview.com/galleries/hardcore/bigsausagepizza/carolyn/bigsausagepizza-carolyn-1.jpg | Sep 19



http://media.fukung.net/imgs/d27f12631ab7218f30f3a66defb556dc.jpg | Sep 18



http://i.imgur.com/P7x5fnK.png | Sep 18



http://i.imgur.com/ifOm27s.gif | Sep 18



http://i.imgur.com/JFRjjxt.jpg, | Sep 18



http://bondage.redteens.com/c/dm/tags-ass-bdsm-blindfold-blush-breasts-122728.jpeg | Sep 18



http://i.imgur.com/DhzUZGN.jpg | Sep 18



https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bx06Z99IUAAsr-D.jpg:large | Sep 18



https://i.imgur.com/bKNKwaI.jpg | Sep 16



http://galleries.adult-empire.com/98/9849//48/name8.jpg | Sep 16



http://i.imgur.com/VEb8k.jpg | Sep 16



http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LWdj-Gq1P-o/TYWUPrYDpOI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/2TD4p0ltGtg/s1600/ellen3.jpg | Sep 14



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4LxHI8uV9A | Sep 13



http://rule34-data-002.paheal.net/_images/53869c2bb137e537ee90c405538cfe42/162170%20-%20Nakoruru%20Purple_Nakoruru%20Samurai_Shodown%20Shitting_dick_nipples%20Tao_Yan%20meme.jpg | Sep 12



pickup lasagna for dinner hunny | Sep 7



aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | Sep 2



lol | Sep 1



morning | Sep 1



good | Sep 1



http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BY6TKGmIgAAoyaV.jpg:large | Aug 31



was it you that collected music with Alan Watts samples? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcEDw82vw1c about 5 minutes in, although Folky Celticy stuff rather than chillstep | Aug 28



she led me to your office where you were playing a game with what might have been a nintendo | Aug 28



last night, I had a dream about you, and in this dream, I went to visit you in your new house | Aug 28



http://youtube.com/watch?v=AaWyFlXqpHc | Aug 25



http://i.imgur.com/B4pdRQE.jpg | Aug 23



Encephalopedophilia* | Aug 22



and the subsequently awkwarder moment, when you realize that this is Brainchild pedophilia | Aug 22



That Awkward Moment when you think your Code be so Sexy you wanna Stick in in the USB port and make sweet love to it | Aug 22



http://illuminatiwatcher.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Giorgio-Aliens.jpg | Aug 22



can you pick up pork chops for dinner, honey? thx love ya | Aug 21



INTERLOPERS HERE TOO | Aug 20



CECI N'EST PAS UNE TEXTMESSAGE | Aug 19



I wonder how long it will take before this gets supremely annoying | Aug 19



it's poo time | Aug 19



http://i.imgur.com/kRdzH.gif | Aug 19



Don't let the evil goat in | Aug 18



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | Aug 18



HI BURNS PHONE | Aug 18



YOU ARE AN UNREGISTERED MUTANT | Aug 18



COME ON POOKY! LET'S BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN! | Aug 15



Insects outnumber humans 100000000 to one. | Aug 6



OMG THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE, GET TO DA CHOPPA | Aug 1



YOUR PHONE HAS BEEN VISITED BY THE TEXT MESSAGE OF HAPPINESS | Jul 30



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXqvqXofQcQ| Jul 30



IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way -- in short, the period | Jul 30



THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE HALLWAY | Jul 30



<@[spag]> The moon landings were faked. No, really. FAKED, I tell you, FAKED. | Jul 27



it does nothing, nevermind it | Jul 27



<@[spag]> legalize armadillos!!! | Jul 26



ONE CENT FOR ONE ONION #ocfon | Jul 26



we have an IRC emergency, please call 867-5309 asap | Jul 26



BURNS, this is Elbert Huberdink from down Mesa Puerta, do you have free time in your schedule today for a meeting? | Jul 26



when cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? | Jul 26



I shall now commence texting you the complete text of "Atlas Shrugged" | Jul 25



Got milk? | Jul 25



You up? | Jul 25



what are you wearing | Jul 25



text me! | Jul 25



| Jul 25



girl, you must be an einstein-rosen bridge, because I want to come inside you and be somewhere else. | Jul 25



THE SKY IS FALLING! | Jul 25



I value our friendship | Jul 25



i sniffed ur poop | Jul 25



I hope you have enjoyed reading this twice | Jul 25



[spag] is making unreasonable demands of you | Jul 24



HI BURNS | Jul 24



| Jul 24



GET IN DA CHOPPA | Jul 23



Thanks for letting me suck the pickles from your Big Mac! -- luv Mandy xxx | Jul 23



you left you front door unlocked | Jul 23

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."