Author Topic: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill  (Read 1059 times)

Doktor Howl

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21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« on: October 13, 2014, 04:40:09 pm »
We met Bill in the hotel bar in Garden Grove.  He was a caricature of the bad side of nerd-dom...Greasy ponytail, a mangy neckbeard that accentuated the fat under his chin instead of hiding it, adult acne from poor hygiene, sloppy clothes, and a sloppy body.  He even had the trilby and the decades out-of-fashion frames on his glasses.

Consider:  Nobody, not even the most hardcore MRA, would consider this to be attractive, yet it is done deliberately.  It is done - and this is the hilarious part - to again acceptance among other losers who can't get a date.  It is the deliberate sabotage of one's own chances, for the purpose of impressing other males that also refuse whatever chance they might have.  Why?  Who knows?  Perhaps it is a means of rationalizing their fear of women.  Women are strange creatures, admittedly, and some people are intimidated by that.

We walked up to where he was sitting at the bar.  "Bill?" I asked.

"That's me."

"I am Hamish and this is Tim.  We have reviewed your professional achievements, and I believe that I can speak for The Company when I say that we're interested.  There are some minor details to go over, of course, but I feel we can do that in a more relaxed environment."

"Any place in mind?"

"We are strangers in your city, but I have indeed looked up a couple of places worth investigating.  It must be somewhere casual...If Tim can't get that tie off, I am unable to answer for the results."

Bill just looked at me.  His mouth was slightly open.  Something was stuck in his teeth.

"But," I continued, "not ENTIRELY casual.  We do have certain standards, Tim and I, standards I think you'll agree with.  But that will require a change of clothes for all 3 of us."

"All my clothes look like this.  What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothing, Bill, nothing...When it comes to work.  When it comes to being out on the town, we'll have to do something.  More specifically, Sharon will have to do something."

"Who's Sharon?"  Bill looked suspicious.

"A consultant.  Sharon's job is to make sure that we present the best possible face to the public.  It's all paid for."

Bill muttered something about "bitches".  I sighed inwardly.  So far, the file on Bill was 100% accurate.  Unfortunately.  We chivvied him out to the Charger, and Tim blasted down Chapman Street, up to the highway.

An hour later, we pulled into the parking lot of what can best be described as a "makeover mall".  We tossed the keys to the valet - Only LA would have valet parking at what is best described as a combination beauty parlor/clothing store - and were immediately greeted by Sharon.  Sharon is a twenty-something woman of dubious acting talent, but possessing a true eye for fashion.  She's also smoking hot.  If she was to give up on her dreams of being an actress and concentrate on her strengths, she'd go very far in this town.

"Hi, guys," she said with a smile, then gave us an appraising look.  "Gonna take some work, all 3 of you."

We followed her in.  Bill seemed a little awed by her, but I could already see that turning into resentment.  Perfect.

An hour later, we were done.  Sharon not only had an eye for what was in fashion, but what worked for a given individual.  Tim was dressed in a perfectly-fitted pair of slacks and jacket, minus tie.  It made him look like the CEO of Muscles, Inc.  Bill was shaved and dressed in slacks and a loose shirt.  You can't hide the fat on a guy like Bill, but you can distract people from it.  Me, I looked like a bald James Hetfield from the Whiskey in a Jar video.  They had even groomed my fu manchu straight and to the correct length, and razor-cut my scalp.

Looking good.

As the three of us piled back into the Charger, Bill asked "Isn't this a little excessive for a job interview?"

"Yes," I said, "But that is just one more reason to consider working for The Company.  We do things right.  And we don't quibble over a few thousand dollars when stacked up against the profits we'd see with you on board."

"I am a little unclear on what exactly is is that your company does."

"We build the future, Bill, one new material at a time.  As far as you're concerned, it's pure research.  You don't worry about time to market or even marketability itself.  But we'll discuss this all a bit later.  Tim and I are worn out from the drive across the desert, and we need to kick back."

"And drink whiskey," Tim added, speaking for the first time since we entered the hotel.

"Whiskey replenishes tired brains," I added, "Don't question it."

We pulled up at the sidewalk in front of the 'restaurant', and tossed the keys to the valet.  It was actually more of an exclusive club...On our own, neither Tim nor I had the cred to even be a bouncer there.  Inside, we were greeted by 3 insanely beautiful women, who escorted us to our table.  They sat down with us, and told us which outrageously expensive whiskeys were available.

Bill looked a little lost.  "I'm more of a PBR man," he said, "I don't know from whiskey."

"Then I'd say," replied the blond girl next to him, "That it's time you learned."

The brunette across from me winked at me, and gave a grin that would have looked more appropriate in an aquarium. 

The whiskey flowed, and for a time, things actually went well.

For a time.

To be continued.

« Last Edit: October 13, 2014, 04:43:48 pm by Doktor Howl »
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

LMNO

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2014, 04:49:02 pm »
You offered him the possibility of PURE RESEARCH and he didn't offer you a handjob on the spot?


He has ulterior motives. Be suspicious.

Doktor Howl

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2014, 04:59:33 pm »
You offered him the possibility of PURE RESEARCH and he didn't offer you a handjob on the spot?


He has ulterior motives. Be suspicious.

So did we.  As you will shortly see.  In any case, we didn't give him a chance to discuss anything.  No discussion was necessary, as he really had no choice in the matter.  Next chapter up in about an hour.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

LMNO

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2014, 05:03:44 pm »
he, he, he.

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2014, 05:37:31 pm »
I do not see this going well for Bill at all.

Poor, poor Bill.   :evil:
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Doktor Howl

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2014, 06:02:51 pm »
I do not see this going well for Bill at all.

Poor, poor Bill.   :evil:

Bill is one of those guys for which things never go well. 
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2014, 01:26:55 am »
 Bill already sounds like one of those guys who sabotages himself and blames everyone else. :lol:
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Doktor Howl

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2014, 01:34:45 am »
Bill already sounds like one of those guys who sabotages himself and blames everyone else. :lol:

It seemed that way...But yanno, I don't think it matters, just like it didn't matter to the residents of St Pierre WHY Mount Pelee erupted.  It just happened.  And since I have no further contact with this odious bastard, I have no urge to understand him, the same way I don't really want to understand people who support cockfights or excessive Orangutan ownership.  He is a wretched and vile thing, and the people of Louisiana are welcome to him.

You think that kind of crap is horrible on the internet, but seeing someone do the full Monty of MRA behavior in real life isn't even fascinating.  It's just banal and horrid.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

Doktor Howl

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2014, 01:36:53 am »
This is why I couldn't be a physician or a psychologist.  There are certain people I cannot stand, and I would want to hurt them instead of helping them.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2014, 02:14:50 am »
This is why I couldn't be a physician or a psychologist.  There are certain people I cannot stand, and I would want to hurt them instead of helping them.

 :lol: This is also why I will never be a clinician. Even though compassion is a trait I am actively trying to cultivate more of in myself, I don't know that I could ever get to the point where people with certain disorders don't trigger revulsion and contempt.

On the other hand, I know a very good clinician who simply refuses to work with those clients.

Still, I don't think I'm cut out to be a clinician.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


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Re: 21C Man, part 4: Meet Bill
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2014, 05:22:38 am »
This is why I couldn't be a physician or a psychologist.  There are certain people I cannot stand, and I would want to hurt them instead of helping them.

 :lol: This is also why I will never be a clinician. Even though compassion is a trait I am actively trying to cultivate more of in myself, I don't know that I could ever get to the point where people with certain disorders don't trigger revulsion and contempt.

On the other hand, I know a very good clinician who simply refuses to work with those clients.

Still, I don't think I'm cut out to be a clinician.

I do possess a degree of compassion. But sometimes compassion means shitting on certain people.
Clinicians probably don't get that.  :lol:
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