Endorsement: I am not convinced you even understand my concepts of moral relativity, so perhaps it would be best for you not to approach them.
Started by Eater of Clowns, December 27, 2014, 04:15:08 AM
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AMEoC, you are the bane of my existence.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AMEoC doesn't make creepy.EoC makes creepy worse.
Quotethe afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.
Quote from: Eaten by Clowns on December 27, 2014, 01:19:33 PMI suspect that all of these things are factual about snails, and correct.But are they really what is true about them?What is true about snails?
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AMAnyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?
Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on December 28, 2014, 08:33:13 PMLand snails are just like a tiny human.Who looks like a disembodied tongue.And is covered in mucus.And has a shell.The land snail breathes air just like the peoples do and eats with its mouthhole.It's bottom pair of tentacles are for smelling while the top pair is for crude seeing.It is however born without ears which makes hearing difficult, impossible really. They are deaf.But in all other ways they are exactly like a tiny human being.Who happens to have a penis next to his face. And a vagina.Most landsnails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both mommy parts and daddy parts.This however does not mean they can self... baby-make.When they mate land snails circle around each other. think full-body french kiss, but with more mucus.As they do this they are looking for opportunities to impale each other with their love darts.I wish this was a metaphore, but it's not. They actually have love darts, like actual darts. It is crazy. Land snails have a totally different level of kinky. These calcified darts are located in the snails dart sack. located below the penis. when the dart impales the mate they inhibit spermicidal secretions. Which makes the next part more effective. After a spirited darting the snails insert their penises into eachother's vaginas. And they just hang out. And try not to laugh. Because that might hurt the other snail's feelings. Even if all the junk is right there in your face, it is not nice to laugh.The snail holds on to the sperm from multiple partners, before fertilizing it's eggs. This makes paternity tests a bitch.The eggs are then laid into top soil and soon baby snails emerge. Thus completing the spiral of life. See what i did there, spiral?! (Oh god, kill me)Next time you meet someone attractive and get anxious, just remember: At least you don't have to worry about a dart being shot into your head.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 29, 2014, 03:26:09 PMSPEAKING AS A TRANS-SNAIL, I FIND ALL OF THIS VERY OFFENSIVE.CHECK YOUR VERTIBRATE PRIVILEGE.