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HEY GUYS HEY GUYS HEY GUYS

Started by Eater of Clowns, December 27, 2014, 04:15:08 AM

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Eater of Clowns

I suspect that all of these things are factual about snails, and correct.

But are they really what is true about them?

What is true about snails?
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Cain

Quote from: Eaten by Clowns on December 27, 2014, 01:19:33 PM
I suspect that all of these things are factual about snails, and correct.

But are they really what is true about them?

What is true about snails?

No snails are true.  All snails are permitted.

Richter

The snails that can be described are not snails.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Reginald Ret

Land snails are just like a tiny human.
Who looks like a disembodied tongue.
And is covered in mucus.
And has a shell.
The land snail breathes air just like the peoples do and eats with its mouthhole.
It's bottom pair of tentacles are for smelling while the top pair is for crude seeing.
It is however born without ears which makes hearing difficult, impossible really.
They are deaf.
But in all other ways they are exactly like a tiny human being.
Who happens to have a penis next to his face. And a vagina.
Most landsnails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both mommy parts and daddy parts.
This however does not mean they can self... baby-make.
When they mate  land snails circle around each other. think full-body french kiss, but with more mucus.
As they do this they are looking for opportunities to impale each other with their love darts.
I wish this was a metaphore, but it's not. They actually have love darts, like actual darts. It is crazy. Land snails have a totally different level of kinky. These calcified darts are located in the snails dart sack.  located below the penis. when the dart impales the mate they inhibit spermicidal secretions. Which makes the next part more effective. After a spirited darting the snails insert their penises into eachother's vaginas. And they just hang out. And try not to laugh. Because that might hurt the other snail's feelings. Even if all the junk is right there in your face, it is not nice to laugh.
The snail holds on to the sperm from multiple partners, before fertilizing it's eggs. This makes paternity tests a bitch.
The eggs are then laid into top soil and soon baby snails emerge. Thus completing the spiral of life. See what i did there, spiral?! (Oh god, kill me)
Next time you meet someone attractive and get anxious, just remember: At least you don't have to worry about a dart being shot into your head.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

LMNO

I have the most amazing boner right now.

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

Back to the fecal matter in the pool

Doktor Howl

SPEAKING AS A TRANS-SNAIL, I FIND ALL OF THIS VERY OFFENSIVE.

CHECK YOUR VERTIBRATE PRIVILEGE.
Molon Lube

Reginald Ret

Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on December 28, 2014, 08:33:13 PM
Land snails are just like a tiny human.
Who looks like a disembodied tongue.
And is covered in mucus.
And has a shell.
The land snail breathes air just like the peoples do and eats with its mouthhole.
It's bottom pair of tentacles are for smelling while the top pair is for crude seeing.
It is however born without ears which makes hearing difficult, impossible really.
They are deaf.
But in all other ways they are exactly like a tiny human being.
Who happens to have a penis next to his face. And a vagina.
Most landsnails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both mommy parts and daddy parts.
This however does not mean they can self... baby-make.
When they mate  land snails circle around each other. think full-body french kiss, but with more mucus.
As they do this they are looking for opportunities to impale each other with their love darts.
I wish this was a metaphore, but it's not. They actually have love darts, like actual darts. It is crazy. Land snails have a totally different level of kinky. These calcified darts are located in the snails dart sack.  located below the penis. when the dart impales the mate they inhibit spermicidal secretions. Which makes the next part more effective. After a spirited darting the snails insert their penises into eachother's vaginas. And they just hang out. And try not to laugh. Because that might hurt the other snail's feelings. Even if all the junk is right there in your face, it is not nice to laugh.
The snail holds on to the sperm from multiple partners, before fertilizing it's eggs. This makes paternity tests a bitch.
The eggs are then laid into top soil and soon baby snails emerge. Thus completing the spiral of life. See what i did there, spiral?! (Oh god, kill me)
Next time you meet someone attractive and get anxious, just remember: At least you don't have to worry about a dart being shot into your head.
This was blatantly stolen from ZeFrank. by the way.  (I Forgot to give him credit before)
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Richter

Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 29, 2014, 03:26:09 PM
SPEAKING AS A TRANS-SNAIL, I FIND ALL OF THIS VERY OFFENSIVE.

CHECK YOUR VERTIBRATE PRIVILEGE.

NO.

NO.

You call it "privilege"

We call it "Not leaving spooge tracks in every room we walk through"
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

axod

just this

minuspace