The bible

[EraPassing]

OK, first... Guest, both of those quotes are extremely funny, if your reader has a filthy mindset.  And you might want to rethink admitting what will piss you off, when you've come to a board full of people who make pissing off others an art form.

Second... Devin, there's such a thing called intellectual dishonesty.

[Zurtok Khan]

Also, how could you expect to argue about the Bible if you've never read it? Picking some verses out of context and looking smug isn't generally a great debate tactic.

You do it like all the Christian's do it.  Claim knowledge first, think second.

Hosiko, were you raised a Mor(m)on?  If so I extend my condolences to you.  

*on topic...sorta*

I'm not very up on the bible, but I do know more then most Mor(m)ons tend to (I was raised mor(m)on, stfu n00b), and I know *way* *way* more about the Book of Mormon then most Mormons.  Living in Utah this knowledge comes in handy.  Outside of Utah, though it would be useless.

If you need help on mindfucking a mormon though, I'm more then happy to help.

[Cain]

I like telling the story in the Bible of God using 2 cave bears to kill kids for laughing at a bald man.  I havent read it in a while, so I can't remember the reference  (that and I'd upset my girlfiend who is a guilty catholic) but I definetly remember that one.

[Wishfarple]

It's when there's a bunch of young delinquents making fun of Elisha, Elijah's successor and one of the greater prophets in the Old Testament.  G0d's just taking care of his homies, yo.  

2 Kings 2:23-25
And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24: And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

[LMNO]

I realize I'm new here and don't really get whether you guys are kidding about this topic or not, but since I'm a person who does read the Bible and does believe the Bible is the Truth, one of my favorite verses is at the end of the Bible.  It quotes Jesus as saying, "Surely I am coming soon."   Another one is "Be still and know that I am God."

Jesus is coming!  Look Busy!

-or-

Jesus is coming!  Get him a few tissues!

-or-

Jesus is coming!  Reload!

-or-

Hey, look, Jesus is coming.  'Bout time, the lazy bastard.  He's 5 years late.

[Cain]

"Be still and know that I am God."

I said be still!  Just be still DAMNYOU!  

*Gives up and goes home*



Edit

It's when there's a bunch of young delinquents making fun of Elisha, Elijah's successor and one of the greater prophets in the Old Testament.

Thats the one.  I love that story.

[sakredchao]

the bible was an interesting read..  i really like how when they crossed the river jordan under joshua and they killed everyone and burned their houses, belongings and cattle..  everything..  they were "told" to leave no trace of the previous culture behind..  and then hitler came and did the same thing back except somewhere else..

the song of songs (solomon) is pretty sexy..

and the part in second kings about baby eating, that was a highlight, too.

kim

[East Coast Hustle]

I realize I'm new here and don't really get whether you guys are kidding about this topic or not, but since I'm a person who does read the Bible and does believe the Bible is the Truth, one of my favorite verses is at the end of the Bible.  It quotes Jesus as saying, "Surely I am coming soon."   Another one is "Be still and know that I am God."

has no one alerted you to our mission statement?

"don't belive anything you read"

or, "it 's our firm belief that it's a mistake to hold firm beliefs"

of course, we use our "holy book" for toilet paper....

but hell, there are surely several of us who have used your holy book for toilet paper....

myself, I find that "psalms" seems to be a bit softer on hte backside than say, "job" or "revelations"

[~~~~Closed~~~~]

I'd like a Cthulhu cartoon, too. Thanks.

Warning: the following comic strip not only contains content which some parent may not find suitable for children, but also contains bad sprite editing, and lazy photoshopping.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Balestar/GHTM9/GHTMP-1.jpg

[East Coast Hustle]

congratulations.

that's the worst cartoon I've ever seen.

[Ben]

Second... Devin, there's such a thing called intellectual dishonesty.

When have I never lied on this forum?

[~~~~Closed~~~~]

congratulations.

that's the worst cartoon I've ever seen.

thank you. I try, I really do. it's not easy to suppress my brilliance.

[agent compassion]

The Bible actually is the biggest mindfuck in the history of mindfucks and is therefore a Discordian tome, therefore all Christians are Discordians by default and Eris is your Goddess, and she's awfully miffed that you've been ignoring her all these centuries.

[Mangrove]

Agent C - I hope you told all those curly hair facists your Jesus/Eris theory  

[Verthaine]

The Bible actually is the biggest mindfuck in the history of mindfucks and is therefore a Discordian tome, therefore all Christians are Discordians by default and Eris is your Goddess, and she's awfully miffed that you've been ignoring her all these centuries.

I've been saying that for years.

It is definately time Eris gets the respect she deserves.

REPENT YOU SINNERS! FOR THE HOUR OF THE AFTERMATH IS AT HAND!
OR NOT